(apologies for the long post - this is all pretty close to my heart)
Well this brings back alot of memories! Guessing it's the same for every bloke on this forum.
I agree on the recurring points here and think back to how the chain of events for me nearly went the wrong way.
The most important things from my personal experience are;
Let him know you'll always be there no matter how angry you get and how much he stuffs up - he needs to know that. Wether he realises it or not, this will keep him from turning to the dark side. Tell it to him straight.
Surround him with good role models - getting caught up with dud mates is the worst thing possible in my experience as their values become your sons values - think of the worst that can happen and it will. However, if he's in contact with hard working people that have strong values that are still fun enough for him, it will rub off on him all day long!
I live in Kings Cross and see the street kids and misery every day and think "why are they like that? Why am I living in a fancy place and not on the street?" I was pretty crazy as a kid but when i think back to all the times things were about to go really pear shaped, my folks were alwasy there to begrudgingly bail me out. Not in a "there there, you'll be ok sweety" way, no no no, my Dad is ex military - an absolute hard ass who believes that if kids are acting up, "you're not smacken em hard enough" i realise now though that he's a bloody legend ;)
Most of the kids on the street in Kings Cross don't have folks to turn to and have never known the feeling of being completely free but knowing that if something goes wrong, they always have Mum and Dad as a backup (not really completely free). It's that knowledge that let me go a bit crazy but also kept my feet on the ground, and since they were always in the background no matter how cool and independant i was, i was always going to need them. I guess i maintained just a few standards for myself without even realising it!
The turning point from being an "independant" cool dude scratching around on part time jobs was a trip north to the Whitsundays with all the change i had (bear with me here) i met a bunch of guys that let me stay with them at Airlie Beach for a couple of weeks and we partied every second night. They'd work their asses off all day and then come home and have money to spend on more partying - that was the turning point for me when i realised "working hard gives these people independance and party money!"
From that day on i worked my ass off and was able to surround myself with similar people that didn't mind a good time but they worked hard for it. This work stuff is really good for the soul! I stayed in Airlie working and after 3 years started my own business at 23yo, employing 6 people! Of course, i spent all the money on parties, it took me a bit longer to learn the lessons of savings and moderated partying.
10 years later and my parents are pretty proud of the son they almost gave up on!
My folks are off on a 6 month grey nomads tour today! Must remember to thank them at the leaving do tonight :)
Best of luck Graceysdad, not looking forward to going through the inevitable with my son!
