My Christmas week in BLINMAN
So I spent my Christmas break travelling about the place, visiting some friends and a heap of relatives.
I spent a very interesting week in BLINMAN….I thought I’d share it with you all…
First I met a roofer in the front bar, he told me he had just come from a wedding of Two antennas who met on a roof, fell in love and got married.
The ceremony wasn't much, but he says the reception was excellent.;)
He told me about a wedding 5 years ago, An invisible man married an invisible woman. He says the kids were nothing to look at either.:angel:
While he was talking to me a man was refused access to the bar because he wasn’t wearing a tie, (it’s a toffy pub that BLINMAN pub) He left but came back with a set of jumper leads around his neck, he walked into a bar.
The bartender says, 'I'll serve you, but don't start anything.':o
On Tuesday three men walked into the bar, he fourth one, seeing these blokes all hit it stopped before he hit it...:)
Yesterday I saw two peanuts walk into the bar, and one was a salted.:o
This morning a dyslexic man walks into the bra.:confused:
Last week I went to a seafood disco here...and pulled a mussel.:p:p
They had a one beer per person limit so I walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under my arm, and says:
'A beer please, and one for the road.' :angel:
I saw there were two cannibals eating a clown. One says to the other:
'Does this taste funny to you ?':wasntme:
I saw the local doctor at the bar, ‘thank god’ I said, 'Doc, I can't stop singing 'The Green, Green Grass of Home.'
He looked at me 'That sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome.'
I was worried, 'Is it common ?'
He said, 'Well, It's Not Unusual.' :mad:
After drinking there for a while I made friends with a barmaid and her husband, she tells me when she was very young she had twins, and gave them up for adoption.
One of them went to a family from Egypt, and is named 'Ahmal.'
The other goes to a family from Spain; they name him 'Juan.'
Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother.
Opening the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal.
Her husband responds, 'They're twins ! If you've seen Juan, you've seen Ahmal.':eek::eek:
I suddenly got Deja Moo: (The feeling that you've heard this bull before.)
I saw that a group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel,
And were standing in the reception area discussing their recent tournament victories.
After about an hour, the manager came out of the office, and asked them to
Disperse.
'But why,' they asked, as they moved off.
'Because,' he said, 'I can't stand chess-nuts boasting in an open foyer.':D:cool:
This was too much for me, so I went outside and talked to a fisherman in the carpark…..he looked at me seriously and said, What do you call a fish with no eyes ?, I shrugged…”A fsh” he said.
Then he told me about the ancient fishermans tale of two fish swimming into a concrete wall.
One turns to the other & says, 'Dam !' :)
Then he told me of when he fished in the “polar region” and he saw two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were a bit cold, so they lit a fire in the craft.
It sank, proving once again that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.:(
I told him of Mahatma Gandhi,who as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, Which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet.
He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet,
He suffered from bad breath.
This made him (Oh, man, this is so bad, it's good)
A super-calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.:p
I had to go, as I drove away I saw two cows standing next to each other in a field.
Daisy says to Dolly, 'I was artificially inseminated this morning.'
'I don't believe you,' says Dolly.
'It's true; no bull!' exclaims Daisy.:o
I stopped at an army disposals shop to buy some camouflage trousers the other day, they said they had lots of stock but I couldn't find any.
Finally, there was the person who sent different puns to his friends, with the hope that at least ten of the puns would make them laugh.
No pun in ten did.
HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!
DIGGER
