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General Chat Almost anything goes, have a look and drop in a few lines. Think of it as a campfire chat with the kids around.

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Old 4th November 2008, 09:47 PM
LandyAndy's Avatar
LandyAndy LandyAndy is offline
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Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: Williams West Aust
Posts: 20,683
Advice please

You guys have read my thread about my mate Fat Baz passing away tragicaly.
I want to go and visit his parents,they are great people and always have had time for a chat.
Tried to go around after work,I just couldnt do it.Deb just brought the same subject up,she wants to go and see them tommorow.I told her I just dont think I can do it.
Anybody able to help???
After not wanting to go to work today I forced myself to do so rather than mope around the house.It wasnt much better,Baz used to work with us so work isnt a nice place either,everyboby is on a real downer.Managed to keep it together all day,till I went to visit Bazs parents,I just lost the plot again.
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Old 4th November 2008, 09:53 PM
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Fusion Fusion is offline
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Foot of the Otways
Posts: 3,031
Mate , It's a very tough thing to do and will take all of your power to go around and see them . But by going and seeing them you will get to release some of that pain with people you like . Or even give them a ring on the phone .... take baby steps mate . It's a very tough time and i have been there also but the pain does ease in little amounts over time . Chin up mate as you'll get through it . Ever need a chat just PM me ... anytime .
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Old 4th November 2008, 09:54 PM
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Jamo Jamo is offline
Join Date: Jan 1970
Location: Nedlands, WA
Posts: 2,041
That's a tough one Andrew.

I would probably make myself visit them. You don't have to say much and they probably won't expect it. Sometimes just sitting there for a few minutes sharing the pain is comforting in itself.
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Old 4th November 2008, 09:56 PM
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spudboy spudboy is offline
Join Date: Jan 1970
Location: Adelaide Hills - SA
Posts: 12,498
It'll be like that for a few days/weeks. Things will get better as time passes.

Our household has had the same thing recently. 2 funerals in 2 weeks.
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Old 4th November 2008, 10:10 PM
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Xavie Xavie is offline
Join Date: Oct 2007
Posts: 1,490
Go see 'em mate. If nothing at all is said and all you did was give them a hug or a hand shake at least they'd know your thinking of them and their child.

In times like this every little bit of support helps. If you cry or lose the plot when your with them that's not necessarily bad. It is nice for parents to know their kids are missed and were loved.

All the best,
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Old 4th November 2008, 10:13 PM
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isuzurover isuzurover is offline
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: WA
Posts: 13,916
I agree with Jamo. But I would probably call before going around.
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Old 4th November 2008, 10:23 PM
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V8Landy V8Landy is offline
Join Date: Jan 1970
Location: Colac foot of the otways
Posts: 1,505
I wouldn't call just go around and see them.If they are busy with arrangments they will let you know when to come around.I have recently lost my mum then a few weeks later we lost her mum.If it wasn't for the support of people coming around i don't know how we would of coped.Especially her work mates,We had no idea the extent she was loved until she was gone.The people that walked through the door was unbelievable.people stay away not wanting to annoy the family but when i come across it again i will go and see them,plate in hand.
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Old 4th November 2008, 10:28 PM
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abaddonxi abaddonxi is offline
Join Date: Jan 1970
Location: 2780
Posts: 8,277
Sometimes having someone sit by without having to say anything is a good thing.

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Old 4th November 2008, 10:36 PM
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Ben Ben is offline
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Sydney city
Posts: 591
Mate, don't beat yourself up about how you feel and don't try to rush it - there's no particular way you're meant to act - just take it as it comes and in your own time.

I lost my best friend three years ago out of the blue - after a lot of apprehension, I finally visited her mum and we just hugged for ages. Very little was said, but it certainly was beneficial.
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Old 4th November 2008, 10:56 PM
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Sleepy Sleepy is offline
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Melb. Vic.
Posts: 6,060
No rulebooks mate. Go and see them, you'll know what to say, or not say, when you get there. I'm sure they'll appreciate your visit.

One day at a time Andrew, things will slowly seem clearer in your mind.

Sounds to me like Baz was a lucky guy to have you as his mate!
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