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Thread: Life in the Australian Army

  1. #1
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    Life in the Australian Army



    Text of a letter from a kid from Eromanga to Mum and Dad. (For Those of you not in the know, Eromanga is a small town, west of Quilpie in the far south west of Queensland )




    Dear Mum & Dad,

    I am well. Hope youse are too. Tell me big brothers Doug and Phil that the Army is better than workin' on the farm - tell them to get in bloody quick smart before the jobs are all gone! I wuz a bit slow in settling down at first, because ya don't hafta get outta bed until 6am. But I like sleeping in now, cuz all ya gotta do before brekky is make ya bed and shine ya boots and clean ya uniform. No bloody cows to milk, no calves to feed, no feed to stack - nothin'!! Ya haz gotta shower though, but its not so bad, coz there's lotsa hot water and even a light to see what ya doing!

    At brekky ya get cereal, fruit and eggs but there's no kangaroo steaks or possum stew like wot Mum makes. You don't get fed again until noon and by that time all the city boys are buggered because we've been on a 'route march' - geez its only just like walking to the windmill in the back paddock!!

    This one will kill me brothers Doug and Phil with laughter. I keep getting medals for shootin' - dunno why. The bullseye is as big as a bloody possum's bum and it don't move and it's not firing back at ya like the Johnsons did when our big scrubber bull got into their prize cows before the Ekka last year! All ya gotta do is make yourself comfortable and hit the target - it's a piece of ****!! You don't even load your own cartridges, they comes in little boxes, and ya don't have to steady yourself against the rollbar of the roo shooting truck when you reload!

    Sometimes ya gotta wrestle with the city boys and I gotta be real careful coz they break easy - it's not like fighting with Doug and Phil and Jack and Boori and Steve and Muzza all at once like we do at home after the muster.
    Turns out I'm not a bad boxer either and it looks like I'm the best the platoon's got, and I've only been beaten by this one bloke from the Engineers - he's 6 foot 5 and 15 stone and three pick handles across the shoulders and as ya know I'm only 5 foot 7 and eight stone wringin' wet, but I fought him till the other blokes carried me off to the boozer.

    I can't complain about the Army - tell the boys to get in quick before word gets around how bloody good it is.

    Your loving daughter,

    Sheila




  2. #2
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    That's a good one.
    Just goes to show, you can't keep a good Sheila down

    Mrs Bundalene

  3. #3
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    Priceless!

    Cheers, Mick.
    1968 SIIa SWB
    1978 SIII Game SWB
    2002 130 Crew Cab HCPU

  4. #4
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    G'day All, That yarn has been around the traps now for a couple of years, the 1st one I read was the same but they were hillbillies in the US, and so on still a good laugh but it's B/S cheers Dennis

  5. #5
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    A mate, who did the 3 month Nasho in about 1958 came off a dairy farm. He reckoned life was pretty good in the Army as you slept in every day, not just when Dad was away.

  6. #6
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    I do not think there are any possums in the Eromanga area. I suspect milking cows are pretty thin on the ground as well. Whoever adapted it from the original cannot have been very familiar with Eromanga.

    John
    John

    JDNSW
    1986 110 County 3.9 diesel
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  7. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by JDNSW View Post
    I do not think there are any possums in the Eromanga area. I suspect milking cows are pretty thin on the ground as well. Whoever adapted it from the original cannot have been very familiar with Eromanga.

    John
    Dead right, John. Not much of anything at Eromanga. Definitely not possum country, but maybe some stations still have a house cow. Feral goats are probably the most populous animal.

  8. #8
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    Pogo I guess
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  9. #9
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    sorry! my fault! i forgot to say this was a joke

    cheers phil

  10. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by discowhite View Post
    sorry! my fault! i forgot to say this was a joke

    cheers phil

    Careful with comments like that Phil

    You might upset all sorts of people from kue sees in vee eye see to oh see dees in kue el dee.

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