Thread: Things to ponder....

Originally Posted by VladTepes

· How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?

If you are murdered for your position or title or what you represent then it is considered an assassination.

· Why do you have to "put your two cents in"? But it's only a "penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to?

If memory serves me correct, one penny was equal to two cents when decimal currency came in.

· Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?

Read your bible - we all wear white robes I think.

· Why does a round pizza come in a square box?

Easy to manufacturer round pizzas & square boxes.

· What disease did cured ham have?

It depends on the pig.

· How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?

I dunno - I'm sure there was wheeled luggage before 1969.

· Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up every few hours?

Perhaps they have night terrors.

· If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?

Well everyone else there should be able to hear.

· Why are you in a movie, but you're on TV?

Well if you are talking about only one TV show, then you still say so-and-so was in a TV show.

· Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?

I look at other tall buildings and planes.

· Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway.

Not necessarily. There is usually a sheet or modesty screen.

· Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?

It depends on the type of bread you put in there.

· If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?

Regardless of who Jimmy was (I think it is the author talking about himself) it is a song about a slave who is freed when his master gets killed - thrown off a horse that was supposedly bitten by a fly. I think the concern about Jimmy and the corn is the least peculiar thing about that song (look it up).

· If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?

He is a scientist, not a marine engineer.

· Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!

Different breeds of dog obviously.

· If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME stuff, why didn't he just buy dinner?

There are plenty of dumb people with lots of money and guns... and they like hunting too.

· If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

Morality comes from Morals.

· Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?

Yes.

· Why did you just try singing the two songs above?

I didn't

· Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?

My dog loves it when I blow in his face. This is a false generalisation.

· Therapy is expensive. Popping bubble wrap is cheap. You choose.

Popping bubble wrap is only instant gratification. I don't think it works for multiple personality disorder...
...I agree with him.

I obviously have too much time one my hands this afternoon.

.....and when English it is not your mother language it is even harder

Why do fat chance and slim chance mean the same thing?
If you can't drink and drive, why do you need a driver's license to buy liquor, and why do bars have parking lots?
Why does your nose run and your feet smell?
Why call it a building if it's already been built?
Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice"?
It is hard to understand how a cemetery raised its burial cost and blamed it on the cost of living.
Why woman wear a pair of panties and only one bra?

· Why do you have to "put your two cents in"? But it's only a "penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to?

If memory serves me correct, one penny was equal to two cents when decimal currency came in.
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Just taking my spelling Nazi hat off temporarily so I can be an arithmetic Nazi for a while.

Ten cents was the equivalent of a shilling (12 pence).
So one cent was worth 1.2 pence.
One penny was considered to be worth one cent.

Originally Posted by vnx205

· Why do you have to "put your two cents in"? But it's only a "penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to?

If memory serves me correct, one penny was equal to two cents when decimal currency came in.
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Just taking my spelling Nazi hat off temporarily so I can be an arithmetic Nazi for a while.

Ten cents was the equivalent of a shilling (12 pence).
So one cent was worth 1.2 pence.
One penny was considered to be worth one cent.

Ahem, cough cough, there's a contradiction in the above statement.