Originally Posted by
willem
G'day guys
My brother sent me this one and I thought you might like it for a chuckle!
Willem
Irish maths test
Paddy wants a job, but the foreman won't hire him until he passes a little maths test. Here is your first question, the foreman said. "Without using numbers, represent the number 9."
"Without numbers?" Paddy says? "Dat’s easy." And proceeds to draw three trees.
"What's this?" the boss asks.
"Have you no brain? Tree and tree plus tree makes 9" says Paddy.
"Fair enough," says the boss. "Here's your second question. Use the same rules, but this time the number is 99."
Paddy stares into space for a while, then picks up the picture that he has just drawn and makes a smudge on each tree... "Ere ye go.."
The boss scratches his head and says, "How on earth do you get that to represent 99?"
"Each of them trees is dirty now. So, it's dirty tree, and dirty tree, plus dirty tree. Dat makes 99."
The boss is getting worried that he's going to actually have to hire Paddy, so he says, "All right, last question. Same rules again, but represent the number 100."
Paddy stares into space some more, then he picks up the picture again and makes a little mark at the base of each tree and says, "Ere ye go. One hundred."
The boss looks at the attempt. "You must be nuts if you think that represents a hundred!"
Paddy leans forward and points to the marks at the base of each tree and whispers, "A little dog came along and pooped by each tree. So now you got dirty tree and a turd, dirty tree and a turd, and dirty tree and a turd, which makes ONE HUNDRED!"
Paddy is the new supervisor!
One day while he was at the track playing the ponies and all but losing his shirt, Mitch noticed a priest who stepped out onto the track and blessed the forehead of one of the horses lining up for the 4th race. Lo and behold, that horse - a very long shot - won the race.
Before the next race, as the horses began lining up, Mitch watched with interest the old priest
step onto the track. Sure enough, as the 5th race horses came to the starting gate the priest made a blessing on the forehead of one of the horses.
Mitch made a beeline for a betting window and placed a small bet on the horse. Again, even though it was another long shot, the horse the priest had blessed won the race.
Mitch collected his winnings, and anxiously waited to see which horse the priest would bless for the 6th race. The priest again blessed a horse.
Mitch bet big on it, and it won.
Mitch was elated. As the races continued the priest kept blessing long shot horses, and each one ended up coming in first.
Bye and bye, Mitch was pulling in some serious money. By the last race, he knew his wildest dreams were going to come true. He made a quick dash to the ATM, withdrew all his savings, and awaited the priest's blessing that would tell him which horse to bet on.
True to his pattern, the priest stepped onto the track for the last race and blessed the forehead of an old nag that was the longest shot of the day. Mitch also observed the priest blessing the eyes, ears, and hooves of the old nag. Mitch knew he had a winner and bet every cent he owned on the old nag.
He then watched dumbfounded as the old nag come in dead last. Mitch, in a state of shock, made his way down to the track area where the priest was.
*Confronting the old priest, he demanded, 'Father! What happened? All day long you blessed horses and they all won. Then in the last race, the horse you blessed lost by a Kentucky mile.
Now, thanks to you I've lost every cent of my savings - all of it!'
The priest nodded wisely and with sympathy.
'Son,' he said, 'that's the problem with you Non- Catholics, you can't tell the difference between a simple blessing and last rites..'
Reply With Quotehehe... very good
Master
Very clever!
Posting Permissions
Bookmarks