Thread: how does one eat a vanilla slice?

I absolutely love them! vanilla slices that is....

But what a pain in the arse to eat at a coffee shop without having everyone stare at you.

It goes like this

pick the slice up in both hands (as its too big for one)

go to take a bite and have a coughing fit due to unexpected inhalation of the icing sugar its fancied up with on the top. Survive the coughing fit recompose and take a bite...

holy jesus mother of god a custard explosion......the entire guts of the slice, middle layer and the all important custard exits out the side door. YOU STOP! very carefully try to manipulate the middle layers of pastry back in while licking the custard off the sides as well as both your hands.

You have icing sugar all over your face as you had to open your mouth a little bit larger than you originally anticipate.....to get it in for the first bite.

you notice with a big cheesy grin on your face that you were unable to save yourself from the intial explosion and you do in fact have custard not only on your t-shirt but the table as it never hits the plate your given despite leaning right over the thing trying to save what you have left from the carnage left by the initial bite.

You look around using the serviette to wipe your face, then your shirt and then the table. place down the serviette, think about how best to now tackle something that looks like you ran it over on the way there and then repeat the steps above.

They do give you a fork as well for eating these....I have found that when using the fork the same thing happens just in a more socially exceptable upper class way. but rather than everything exiting from the side it generally exits from the back of the slice all over the plate and the table and at speed!!......making it just as difficult if not harder to eat. You see I would rather lick my fingers than a Gloria jeans coffee table

HOW DO YOU EAT YOURS?????..........would love to know so I can eat all of the slice I brought not just 20% of it

Ahh, the vanilla slice. Manna from heaven. Best eaten with a knife and fork - daily.