This thread is so pertinent to me atm. Two days ago I made the hardest decision I've ever had to make. I had to choose to place mum into care.

I know, this isn't truly relevant, but bear with me. There is a line in a movie ( Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, apparently ) that goes " we seem to have reached the age where life stops giving us things and starts taking them away".

Mum was about 88/9 when she was diagnosed with macular degeneration, so, no more driving for her. She simply accepted this. She still kept a car, and in fact bought a new one, so she could retain a sense of independence, even if she needed me to drive it. ( Bloody Golf, she couldn't manage the climb into my car..., or the step down into the EF ). She is now 102 and her life is winding down rapidly. But, until maybe 5 years ago she could still have driven, if her sight hadn't let her down. Thing is though, she KEPT DOING the things she loved doing, walking dogs, cooking, weaving etc. Obviously, climbing under a Range Rover wasn't her thing, but if it was she would have been doing it, if only to check that the indie was doing it to her liking.

Dad went into a home at 93, (not my choice ) and that was the end. I promised mum that she wouldn't, and here we are. What I have done for mum has cost me, but what did I cost her?

Live what you have, uteman. I don't wish to denigrate your family, but the decision is yours, not their's.

I vote "Keep".