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Thread: A sort of press release for the new Defender...

  1. #1
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    A sort of press release for the new Defender...

    Origionally posted on the Defender2 site. Let's see what you make of it.

    Land Rover will indeed be producing a replacement for it's iconic Defender model. Our accountants, sorry engineers, have been listening very closely to what owners have to say. Though generally regarded as an "icon" we fully acknowledge that the out going Defender was not without it's faults. Land Rover have been heartily criticised for not investing in the Defender model over the years but this was a "future planning" strategy by our accountants, sorry engineers. We had to prove that there was just no market ( by that our accountants mean a profitable one) for a basic, easily repairable model with limited expensive add on optional extras at point of sale.
    We heard people complain about the rusting chassis and crossmember on the out going Defender. We could indeed have gone down the road of using high grade steel and galvanising it but we have opted for a new strategy. We (well our accountants) have decided that you will not be getting a separate chassis on the new, yet to be introduced model, so this will eliminate the problems associated with a rusting chassis.
    The body on the proposed replacement vehicle will make extensive use of aluminium. It will be of monocoque structure making it very expensive to repair. This is a deliberate strategy on our part to ensure that the vehicle is never taken off road.
    There were also issues reported with the linkage between the main gearbox and the transfer box. We have decided to eliminate this problem by not giving customers a transfer box on the proposed Defender replacement. So if we eliminate the component we eliminate the problem.
    One of the biggest problems our franchised dealers had with the out going Defender model was the issue of owners home servicing the vehicle. This will no longer be a problem as the proposed replacement will be 100% non user friendly and will require the use of major diagnostic equipment during basic servicing. This will also eliminate the problem of messy driveways and give owners more time to spend with their families, instead of spending it underneath the vehicle.
    We have had early derivatives of this proposed vehicle out for consumer testing with outstanding and positive feedback.
    It seems it is perfectly suited for going to schools and supermarkets. A standard feature is the inclusion of an audible warning telling children to remove their foot wear before entering into the opulent interior. Another standard feature will be the inclusion of a coin holder on the passenger door trim. This will enable the owner to tell a child, deemed too dirty to enter the vehicle to take coins from the coin holder and to get the bus home. A simple but practical idea.
    We have not forgotten the seasoned off roader brigade (and how we wish we could). For those who insist on taking this vehicle off road it will be fitted with multi recovery points both front and back. It will also have satellite communication systems that will allow the stuck vehicle to be located anywhere on the planet.
    More to follow...

  2. #2
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    Alluminiun and monocoque chassis being a deliberate strategy to ensure it doesnt go offroad? Cant agree with that.
    No transfer case?.. Highly doubt it as the Disco 5 will have 2 speed transfer case..and the defender is being pitched as the most rugged offroader built by Landrover..even if it didn't a 9 speed auto with the right low and high ratios would be awesome offroad/onroad and very reliable and tourable. Opulent interior? I doubt it, no doubt the interior will be more universal than the old defender, however it will be no Range Rover Inside

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    That's not "fair dinkum",...it's just someone's idea of a joke!
    Pickles.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Pickles2 View Post
    That's not "fair dinkum",...it's just someone's idea of a joke!
    Pickles.
    Yes Pickles, but the joke is intended to make fun of Landrovers new Defender using "facts", im pointing out that most of it is rubbish.

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    Quote Originally Posted by blackrangie View Post
    Yes Pickles, but the joke is intended to make fun of Landrovers new Defender using "facts", im pointing out that most of it is rubbish.
    Yes, I realize that, but knowing that, I suppose my thoughts were that it was not worthy of any detailed response.
    But, isn't it true that JLR are doing a really mighty job of keeping "New" Defender an absolute secret!
    Pickles.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Pickles2 View Post
    Yes, I realize that, but knowing that, I suppose my thoughts were that it was not worthy of any detailed response.
    But, isn't it true that JLR are doing a really mighty job of keeping "New" Defender an absolute secret!
    Pickles.
    Yeah couldn't resist because some will think the rubbish in there is fact..agreed greatest new model coverup in history!

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    A little early for April 1st.
    MY08 TDV6 SE D3- permagrin ooh yeah
    2004 Jayco Freedom tin tent
    1998 Triumph Daytona T595
    1974 VW Kombi bus
    1958 Holden FC special sedan

  8. #8
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    Homestar is offline Super Moderator & CA manager Gold Subscriber
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    Quote Originally Posted by blackrangie View Post
    Yeah couldn't resist because some will think the rubbish in there is fact..agreed greatest new model coverup in history!
    It's not hard to hide something that doesn't exist....
    If you need to contact me please email homestarrunnerau@gmail.com - thanks - Gav.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Homestar View Post
    It's not hard to hide something that doesn't exist....
    Haha

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    It may be a joke but there's plenty to be said for reductionism as an engineering principle. Dual range is a PITA that may not be necessary for much longer. I can't wait. And just cos monocoque shells haven't been designed with accessories and recovery in mind doesn't mean they can't be. And some would say aluminium is the only material for a proper Land Rover...
    Now 2016 D4 HSE 'Leo' and Steve the Triumph Speed Twin
    Then 2010 D4 3.0 HSE 'James'
    Then 2010 RRS TDV8 'Roger' w traxide DBS, UHF, Cooper Zeons, Superchips remap
    Then 2010 D4 TDV6 'Jumbo' w traxide DBS
    First love 2002 D2 TD5 'Disco Stu'

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