Tech. support in marriage

[bob10]

The query:

Dear Tech Support,

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slowdown in overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewellery applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0. In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, and then installed undesirable programs such as: AFL 5.0, NRL 3.0 and Golf Clubs 4.1.

Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and House cleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system. Please note that I have tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.

What can I do?

Signed, Desperate

The response (that came weeks later out of the blue):

Dear Desperate,

First keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system. Please enter command: I thought you loved me.html and try to download Tears 6.2. Do not forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update. If that application works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewellery 2.0 and Flowers 3.5.

However, remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0, or Beer 6.1. Please note that Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will download the Farting and Snoring Loudly Beta version. Whatever you do, DO NOT, under any circumstances, install Mother-In-Law 1.0 as it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources.

In addition, please do not attempt to re-install the Boyfriend 5.0 program. These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0. In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. We recommend Cooking 3.0.

Good Luck!

[DiscoMick]

Showed this to Wife 1.0 who said it was very true and copied it to send to Friends 5.0.

Sent from my GT-P5210 using AULRO mobile app

[bob10]

Yes, my wife said to turn the husband 1. system off for 10 minutes, then re-boot. ouch.

[Tombie]

Yes, my wife said to turn the husband 1. system off for 10 minutes, then re-boot. ouch.

If Wives would do the opposite and turn system on for 10 minutes regularly they'd get better results

Helps prevent the Mistress virus as well..

[Ausfree]

I've been husband 1.0 for a bloody long time (41 years) and am prone to crashes, my harddrive is wearing out, a quick re-boot from wife2.0 gets husband 1.0 going again.

[Tombie]

I've been husband 1.0 for a bloody long time (41 years) and am prone to crashes, my harddrive is wearing out, a quick re-boot from wife2.0 gets husband 1.0 going again.

Bluepill macro has been known to improve the life of hard drives.

Overuse of BLuepill functionality, especially when Wife OS is unstable can result in HDD controller locking up requiring manual operation to resume normal functionality.

[Ferret]

Hmmmm... typical Apple iOS behaviour with anything open source. Husband 1.0 works perfectly here

[Tombie]

Hmmmm... typical Apple iOS behaviour with anything open source. Husband 1.0 works perfectly here

Careful... Open source is known to be susceptible to virus'

[bob10]

I've been husband 1.0 for a bloody long time (41 years) and am prone to crashes, my harddrive is wearing out, a quick re-boot from wife2.0 gets husband 1.0 going again.

41 years has been my penance, as well. Wife 1.0 is supported by daughter 1.0, anti virus program is supported by the memory of Mother in law , 1.0. System shut down is prevented by Land Rover 2.0, and beach, supported by XXXX Norton. Or Bundy, at least we tried.

[rar110]

41 years has been my penance, as well. Wife 1.0 is supported by daughter 1.0, anti virus program is supported by the memory of Mother in law , 1.0. System shut down is prevented by Land Rover 2.0, and beach, supported by XXXX Norton. Or Bundy, at least we tried.

I think I'm running the same system supports.