On the lighter side....... who can answer these questions

[29dinosaur]

Some days you need someone or something to lighten the journey:

Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are flat?

Why do banks charge a fee on 'insufficient funds' when they know there is not enough?

Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

Whose idea was it to put an 'S' in the word 'lisp'?

Why is it that people say they 'slept like a baby' when babies wake up every two hours?
If the temperature is zero outside today and it's going to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold will it be?

Do married people live longer than single ones or does it only seem longer?

How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?

Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?


Did you ever stop and wonder......

Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, 'I think I'll squeeze these pink dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?'

Who was the first person to say, 'See that chicken there... I'm gonna eat the next thing that comes outta it's bum.'

Why do toasters always have a setting so high that could burn the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?

Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?

Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their bum when they ask where the bathroom is?

Why does your Obstetrician, Gynaecologist leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway?

Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!

If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?

If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?

Stop singing and read on…….

Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?

Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?

Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?

Do you ever wonder why you gave me your e-mail address in the first place?

[hiline]

Do you ever wonder why you gave me your e-mail address in the first place?

i can answer this one


i haven't

[d3funct]

The answer is testicle!!!

[RonMcGr]

1. because Tarzan is a female.
2. To squeeze that last bit of power out.
3. So customers will not constantly run their accounts to zero and below.
4. Their "Helmets" were made of leather and canvas, and had the radio speakers over the ears.
5. Because you cannot touch stars.
6. The word originates for its Germanic form of Wlyspian, a mimic of the sound produces, later adapted to lisp from the form of lisper, a person with a limited lateral flow of air over the tongue and teeth. Whats funnier is the unusually cruel use of the words, “stutter” “stammer” and the profession “Clinical Speech Therapist/Pathologist”.
7. I slept like a baby is surely a more polite way of saying, “I suffer night time incontinence”.
8. Two times zero is zero. Another cold day.
9. Yes and No.
10. Because people did not travel as much, at that time.
11. To reduce the feeling of vertigo.
12. The same women that held her baby to her breast.
13. The chicken farmer who watched chooks laying eggs.
14. Just in case there is a drop in power.
15. My freezer HAS a light.
16. Because it is considered rude.
17. To make the patient feel comfortable.
18. One is smarter.
19. Exams.
20. Baby oils are primarily made of mineral oil.
21. From Moral people.
22. So they will both be easy to remember for their target audience, little kids.
23. They wouldn't even know it's a can of soup in the first place.
24. So would you.
25. No.
26. I didn't.

[moose]

There had to be one didn't there Ron!

That would have to be one of the most colorful posts I've ever seen.

[RonMcGr]

There had to be one didn't there Ron!

That would have to be one of the most colorful posts I've ever seen.

Gottobeinittowinit

[barney]

well, in X men 3 when jean grey goes nuts and her rate of destruction of wolverine cannot keep up with his regenerative powers, you see the flesh being blown away from wolverine to expose his adamantium coated skeletal structure,
now the story goes that his bones were chemically fused with this indestructable metal, adamantium, this along with his accellerated regenerative mutation made him almost indestructable.
adamantium is silver in colour and this is shown both in Xmen 2 when you see the vat of molten adamantium and in number 3 when you see his bones as the flesh is ripped from his body.
so my question is, why are his teeth white instead of silver?

[d3funct]

yada yada yada, blah blah blah....

.... so my question is, why are his teeth white instead of silver?

Coz its a freakin movie!!!

[29dinosaur]

There had to be one didn't there Ron!

That would have to be one of the most colorful posts I've ever seen.

I'll admit that it's a cut and paste job from an email sent to me by a friend........... I usually detest colourful texts (they all look like thus sickly american websites)

[camel_landy]

OK... Answer this one then:

How do snow plough drivers get to work???

M