And as i said the diagnostic machine can tell you the advance retard from TDC , which answered part of your question
How do you want it to tell you where TDC physically is without a reference mark?
ECUs are programmed, they run the tune, they don't 'get' tuned unless you re program them, the diagnostic machine reads the data from the ecu and can , as I said, give you the advance/retard/rpm values in real time and as a printout/log.
If you want to find TDC physically you are already doing it correctly short of pulling the head off.
Do you think you are going to spin it by hand and it will tell you where to stop?

