Thread: Embarrassment

what is a dopple does that mean i'm dumb obviously i left school to early but then again i don't remember learning about dopples

Originally Posted by banjo

Oh dear i think this is going to hurt...Where to start
Well i have been on a pension for a few years now because i have AGROPHOBIA servere panic disorder.i have trouble going out to the point where i have locked myself in the bathroom in colds sweats with my heart in my throat thinking i would passout or pee or crap myself..i also have done this when i have had people coming over to visit or in this case (people offering to come & help )..it has ruined my life & my immediate family (wife & kids)..you know we used to go up to our local bush (hillsborough ) when we had a nissan SWB kids loved it but it sometimes could take me an hour to get there & we only live literaly 5 min drive from it..
its been realy hard for us because our families think its a big joke .they seem to think its funny to take the micky out of me ..but 27 years of abuse mentaly,physically,mentaly sexualy..
So i dont deal with people to well cause if i have to leave or (hide)as such they dont understand so we just dont do it but its now realy taking its toll on the wife & kids..
we had to file bankrupt a few years back now & the way this rover is going it could send us there again..wife (karen is realy worried )
i had a friend who i used to do stuff with because he didnt care that if we where going some where if i needed to turn round & head for home he didnt say anything i would just settle myself down & then turnround again & keep going & catch up to him & this could happen a few times before i got there & sometime i couldnt get there but he was ok with it so we got on real good but he went & died on me & i have taken it hard & since then i havent been able to do anything realy & we used to go bush alot just for the day out to sugarloaf & out the back of glendale & up hillsborough man i miss those days we all had fun me the kids & wife plus my friend..we used to work for ourselves i am a diesel mechanic by trade havent touched tools since i done my trade 20 years ago but we used to wash & grease trucks that kept us going was good money cause we used to do about 20 trucks a week..
Now the best i do is going down to the local shops again 5min drive away but i do go for a walk round aldi the cheap shops & the paper shop gotta get me rover mags..but this rarely happens .karen does all my running around picking up parts & the like..
i seem to get on better with woman the shrink says its because most of the abuse i suffered was from my father..
hence the reason we only see a few family members ..
we thought it bout time i told use as we have had offers of help with the car..
dont know how i would handle it..but if it wasnt for karen i know i would be dead she saved me..
the best thing so far is my kids..
& i have to say i have never found so many people to offer to help when they havent even met us ..thats cool.
i can only hope that when the car is sorted i can get some part of our life back & start going back to the bush...
So we would like to say many many thanks to everyone who has offered to help...
Not trying to be sobby just thought if use new the problem it mite make it easier to understand why i cant except the offers of help but i (we) really appreciate them i dont know how i would handle people here for the time it could take...
THANKS Jason & Karen..

Its been a real eye opener for me since this first post.I feel i have grown alot,learnt alot more about how to converse & to make chat instead of just droping in on conversations & just giving a quick line..Its been an awesome experience for me & a huge learning curve & extreme fun.I have met some realy nice people..& i couldn't of got this far without everyones surport & good will.. So i'm very glad fatty told me to tell the truth to let people know why i can not eccept the offers of help & people have been so understanding we never ever thought people would care or be interested in our crapy life.I haven't had a doosy of a panic attack for solong & the ones i have had have been very minor,Its just amazing how use all never ecpect of me which is a realy new thing for me as i have always had to run after family & so called friends which realy only see us when they need something fixed or some repairs to there cars..
I am so PROUD of my little fatty for putting up with my life for so long & going through some of the worst suicidle depression that i have had which hasn't reared its head for so long because i finaly has some true FRIENDS , well i hope so .I am proud of myself for the first ever time for doing something & outing myself here & being honest about everything is a good thing,realy enjoying myself..
So theres a little more into my ****y life....