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Thread: Embarrassment

  1. #11
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    keep your eyes on the end of the trail and remember the fruit at the end of the harder track always tastes the sweeter.
    Dave

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  2. #12
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    THANKS everyone..
    karen

  3. #13
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    My mother had agoraphobia. from memory it started when I was around 6 or 7 years old. A single parent bringing up two kids with agoraphobia would of been pretty hard and reading your story made me reflect on my own. She wouldn't leave the house etc. I used to do the shopping on my bike when I was around 11 years old. She had a good friend that used to drop in for a coffee on a regular basis which helped alot I think. The turning point for her was two women came to stay with us from some agoraphobia group. I don't know why they came to stay with us, whether they helped Mum or really what the full story was but she gradually improved. It started in little steps where she could drive to the shops. There were times she would start to panic and would ask me to talk to her on the way home. Occasionly she didn't get to the shops. However, she got to the point where she could drive perhaps up to a 15 km radius from home. One time we went to Yamba for a holiday which involved a 2 day trip on a train. Whether she suffered any attacks or not only she would know. She passed away when I was 14 (thats about 20 years ago) so I can't ask her about it .
    I doubt she fully recovered but got to a point where it didn't create too much of a problem. I beleive she helped others with agoraphobia as a contact or councellor spending time on the phone talking to others.
    Searching google came up with Agoraphobia Whilst I don't think the name is the same as the group that helped mum the symbol looks familiar so maybe they had a name change.
    Being young at the time I never fully understood. But I reckon Families are good. All the best and thanks for sharing your story.

  4. #14
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    Gillie,

    Thanks for the link, I don't know if my Mrs has been there but I'll pass it on.

    Cheers.
    Touareg CR 210TDI 2022
    Disco 5 SD4 HSE 2018
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  5. #15
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    Well worth a look.

    This website
    http://www.angelfire.com/ab3/agoraph...lia/start.html
    has some fascinating stories from 5 agoraphobia sufferers. For anyone wanting to understand agoraphobia and what people go through they are all a MUST read.

  6. #16
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    thanx gillie we been on that first site thismorning & will have a look at the other soon..first we've seen of then the first is good thow...

  7. #17
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    Well managed to get out to bilo today i sat in the car while karen went & picked up a few things ,i think i should of stayed at home the heat plays havic with my medication drys me out big time ....ah well atleast i got out ...

  8. #18
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    Quote Originally Posted by banjo View Post
    Well managed to get out to bilo today i sat in the car while karen went & picked up a few things ,i think i should of stayed at home the heat plays havic with my medication drys me out big time ....ah well at least i got out ...
    Banjo, I always thought (rightly or wrongly) that the key to controlling this thing is desensitisation. To explain; there was a time early on when I thought someone or something would come along and cure this thing in SWMBO, or that she'd grow out of it over time (she was 22 when it first started, 47 now). Neither happened. My theory was that if she put herself through trigger situations she would eventually overcome it.

    More recently I've come to accept (not like, not happy, but accepting) the fact that she'll always have it and so I've modified my theory, from desensitisation to "confidence". My theory is that she slowly but frequently (say every weekend) hop in the car with others (me and the kids mainly) and drive somewhere. Working up from just round the block, to the local shops, to a park, down the coast, etc. My idea being that she build confidence in her ability to deal with the symptoms (by this I mean stay in control) through preparation and self-monitoring.

    Like all things mental though, it works when you're feeling happy, well and confident, but can be a major setback if you "fail".

    Recently this approach has seen some improvement but there's years of work ahead of her.

    I'm blabbering on about all this to simply say "good on ya" for getting out. Keep doing it! Panic attacks won't kill you (Easy for me to say!) but you can draw some satisfaction in doing these things, and hence the confidence for next time. No doubt you'll say "where's the achievement? Anybody else does this without thinking about it". True, but what other people can do or not do doesn't help you, does it?

    I've read the above a couple of times and I'm not sure the tone is right but its meant to be happy and helpful.

    Anyway, cheers.

    Mark
    Touareg CR 210TDI 2022
    Disco 5 SD4 HSE 2018
    Disco 4 3.0 SDV6 2014
    Disco 4 2.7 2011
    Disco 3 V6 SE 2007

  9. #19
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    Hi Mark just read what you said & i wouldnt take anything you say as sarcasim or malice as you are dealing with the same problem...i only put it up here that i went out because of the positive feedback i was given by all ,this is the first time i have let anyone know about it with the exception of peter haylock (the guru) from kotara if it wasnt for karen & the guru i would never have got this car done..
    i will keep posting on here when i manage to go out as the feedback is helping & by just letting everyone on here know has been of great help to build confidence in myself so karen says since telling on here i have tried to push myself a little bit as i would love to be able to go 4x4 ing with some of use at some stage & possibly camping..

    PSSSSSSSSSSSS whats a SWMBO i am sure it meens wife ..
    ps i have just come back from picking up our papers & pamphlets just to prove to myself i can deal with the heat well sort of by the time we got back i was drenched the damn tablets do this to me i can dehydrate in minutes..
    i am more worried the car wont start since it did it to karen that should be fun if or when that happens dont know how i will handle that ,but i still drive it i wont drive karens 4runner that would be easy ....
    now i have to sit for about 6hrs & fold the papers & pamphlets sounds like fun hey ,,,,NOT but it does put fuel in the cars for us....

  10. #20
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    it always helps to tell people(so i have found out) my heart sank for more then one reason when i was reading your post. the thing that gets me through the best is. you only have one life it is yours so live it well

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