Embarrassment

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Originally Posted by DiscoMick

You definitely should complain to your ISP over these emails - they could trace the author. And keep a record of your complaint.

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Will be rining telstra bigpond today so they can keep an eye out for any more..
I hadn't told Karen about the emails i was trying to deal with them on my own. I told her of the last one as it was the one to get to me as i was called a RETARD that realy got to me ..
Yeah i mite be a little bit slooowwww but hay **** happens. But we have to deal with what where delt so i do the best way i can..
It could be worse i could sit around & **** & moan about it & not have done anything about it at all & not seen a doctor or shinks & i would of been alot worse by now if i did that as depression is a terrible thing & the panic attacks are very debilatating if i have a big attack it can take weeks some times months to get back to normal Thats when it is realy hard on Karen & the kids, as no one can come over & Karen worries about going out after one..IT HAS BEEN QUIET AWHILE SINCE I HAVE HAD ONE THAT BIG , I still get the occasanal small one where my heart is in my throat & i get so dry i can't breat properly , feel like i would pass out , get very light headed. Thats why i worry about meeting people as i would hate for that to happen while meeting one of use as its very embarrasing, Thats a small one I can drive threw those.If i had a big one i would do the same only i would be in the bathroom in cold sweats thinking i would passout or completly loose control & throwup (that scaers the **** out of me) thay why we have 2 kids they can hold the bucket for each other LOL.I have trouble when the kids are sickhearing it or seeing it does it for me. But when i get that far it feels like i'm loosing everything & thats when things get realy bad i can't control my breathing or heart rate & i get realy dry & have trouble talking & i feel like i will crap or **** meself so embarrasing thats when i wish i would just die or have the ground open up & swollow me..Thats why i am so scared to meet with people if i did that while meeting one of use , use wouldn't see me for months on here i would not be able to show myself.. I have only ever had one heart flutter while meeting with Aus that was early in the peace now i look forward to him turning up , he has taken old Toms spot now..
So if i'm ever off here for more than 2 days you's will know something is wrong..
So there ya go a bit of a **** & moan.

My biggest problem at the moment is bordom I hate doing nothing :mad: .
I have to make some new lenses for me sunnies today, My eyes are very sensative to the sunlight & i get realy bad headaches if i go outside with out them on, the optomatrist did tell me what its called but i can't remember.
So i have to get the darkest lenses i can find but they always coe in those huge horible frames so i have to cut & file them down to fit my frames..

Hey seen a beuty series 3 SWB on ebay just round the corner at hillsbourgh i think it was buy it now for $1200 :cool:..

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Originally Posted by banjo

..IT HAS BEEN QUIET AWHILE SINCE I HAVE HAD ONE THAT BIG

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Banjo, my 2c worth which I'm sure you already know:)

My Mrs as you know, has had the same thing for 20 odd years although right now she's the best she's been in say 5 years.

One of the big probs she has with coping/dealing/overcoming this thing is remembering "THE BIG ONE" that happened in the past. Yeah, it might have happened in the past but that was the past. You're older, wiser, have better developed coping strategies, etc. Easy for me to say but the past is the past, you have to to be fatalistic and say if it happens in the future I'll deal with it. I guess what I'm trying to say in my (as usual) poor way is put the past where it belongs, in the past, and keep pushing yourself forward. Anxiety and panic attacks won't kill you (although you may think so at the time:()

but I know you know this, etc....:)

I should also say I follow this thread and am always reluctant to comment as when I do it sounds so bloody negative (to me).

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Originally Posted by WhiteD3

I should also say I follow this thread and am always reluctant to comment as when I do it sounds so bloody negative (to me).

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No i we never think its negative as you are living the same thing threw the same prospective as Karen & she tells me the same thing & the guys here remind me everynow & then that it is in the past, & i am sure you tell your wife the same as you say to me..
Our problem is just that it is in the past & we remember the big one & are scared of the next one as we know what will happen..
I cant emagine what it would be like for your wife to go through to be a woman a mother & to be going through this stuff would be so hard for her.
I think that came out wrong.

G'Day Banj, I am really happy that you look forward to my visits and I consider it an honour to take old Tom's place!!!:angel: don't know about the "old" though!!!;):D:D:D. Mrs Aus didn't go to Cardiff Woolies today ( surprise, surprise) she helped me clean the lawn locker out, you should see the stuff we have thrown out, we even found and X-Ray taken in 1980 of the eldest daughter, it went out, don't think its relevant anymore!!:p

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Originally Posted by Ausfree

G'Day Banj, I am really happy that you look forward to my visits and I consider it an honour to take old Tom's place!!!:angel: don't know about the "old" though!!!;):D:D:D. Mrs Aus didn't go to Cardiff Woolies today ( surprise, surprise) she helped me clean the lawn locker out, you should see the stuff we have thrown out, we even found and X-Ray taken in 1980 of the eldest daughter, it went out, don't think its relevant anymore!!:p

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I always keep old X-rays, even from before then. See if later Doctors do find something odd, they can look at the old X-rays to compare & determine that it was not always that way, that is what showed up now was not always there in the past so is a recent growth.

for example, very old X-rays of my knee do show a spur of bone. One doctor was talking of operating to remove it, but I produced old X-rays to show it had been there for a long time, so that it was not the cause of the trouble I was having.

So that's why old X-rays should be kept.

Hi Jason, keep your chin up. Ignore those emails, Johnf.

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Originally Posted by JohnF

Hi Jason, keep your chin up. Ignore those emails, Johnf.

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I haven't had another yet don' think i will :) .