Ok guys i just got home ..Went got fuel & pamphlets ..Then thought i would ring Karen as i think i got cort with a redlight camera .But i wanted to goto the paper shop to see if the new internatioal was in & met Karen at the post office she had been to the tattoo shop to get her nipple rings changed & was good cause he wasn't there but when we crossed the road there was someone standing out the front of the tattoo shop & i said which one is that & she said yeah thats him but we went to the papershop But i could see in Karens face she wanted to go see him so i asked when came out of the papershop if she wanted to go there & introduce me to him. well she pick ed up & says yeah so ok off we go & she showed me the tattoo she wants to get next i'm not real fussed but its what she wants . So i says well what colours will you use she said a few ...So i said go get the bloke & see what he says well she nearly jumped out of her skin with excitement but he was busy usualy she just walks in there but i think it was because i was there....Anyway now she says she has been kiding herself that the feelings wheren't that strong but now she say they are real strong for him...
She now says she rezents me bordering on hate, & that i should be ****edoff & kranky for her feeling this way & not want to surport her instead throught it....
Guys i'm in seriouse serious trouble i can not live with out Karen or the kids & i can not see the kids if we do go aways because Karen & i know what i will be like panicing & well theres some other stuff to why i cant see them at mums & hey it will take me so long to be able to come back down here to see them & we both agree that i get to suicidal with depression.. **** i will just have enough trouble to get to mums she lives at the back of maitland at louth park & i haven't been there since they have changed all the roads & highway up there...
Karen said she will just not be going back there & if she sees him she will just walk the other way but he will want to talk to Karen as he is happy to have the friendship.......
So there you have it she feels realy strongly towards this guy & i keep telling her that its because she was getting her tattoos while we where at a low & i made it worse by being even lower & draging her to her lowest ever point .She has been getting the tattoos over about a 6 week pireod when we where starting to goto loga heads with Micayla & then i made it worse by being so low & down which brought Karen to her lowest ever point & the guy was being nice to her while she was so down that she started to feel for him & then i got worse depression & even lower while she was seeing him & flirting together while getting her tattoos i recon thats why it has happend...
She tells me she doubts that she will ever feel for me again even when she is picked up but i think 23 years history would help & i have promised to never get that low again & we both know i will have a bad day & i will be doing everything i can to keep it a bad day only..Karen says she doesn't know if she wants to be there for me & prop me up anymore which i understand & i don't need it now & i will do all i can to make sure i don't get jelouse or posesive towards her & i want her to have her days out & not worry about me or what i would be like when she gets home & i do meen that & i will be keeping to that & i promis not to let her down again..Only the odd bad day..
I need help i am so frightend the only other option i though of was if i get Karen to admit me to a mental horsepital .....
I love Karen so much its not funny & the kids as well..
But i think i am going to loose them all when we where talking before we left i colapst & cowerd to the fridge with the thought of loosing them when Karen told me she doubts she will ever feel for me again even after 23 years & even when she is better....
WHAT DO I DO I AM SO FRIGHTEND ....
.& Vickie says back to one of them arh well you can't try for to long BUT she did say don't do anything rash...
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Originally Posted by V8Ian
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