Embarrassment

Na not realy but i am staying posotive..

Karen wants more than just a friendship with the other person & she doesn't know how much as she cant have him & she knows this i said its cause she was so low down that he made her feel good & talked to her & flirted with Karen while we where at such a low at home..He only wants to be friends with Karen he is happily married & has a very sick little girl. she is a little better now knowing that i have excepted the end fait..
I will still be trying hard to win her love back as much as i can i would just love to be able to talk with Karen & i keep telling her i love her & care for her..

I went down the road by myself thismorning & got the ham & chicken meat for lunch & the paper for Karen at bilo Then went round to the bread shop where Karen used to work & got breadrolls..

Just got back from Taking Cody to Kotara for a kicking T but we gave up on trying to find a carpark & just came back to the oval & kicked the footy around for awhile now back for lunch.....

Not to sure what to do with Karen , yes i want to fix it up now but i know it will take time..She doesn't want to open her self up to me again & have this happen again which i understand.....

She says she has no feelings for me & that she doesn't love me But Karen is still down in the dumps & her head is all over the place.......

I think use mite need to try & cheer her up i cant.. i am giving her her space & personal space as much as i can or know......

She is worried about me because she says she knows i cant live on my own & couldn't probably look after the kids to well on my own & we both not happy to let my parents help in anyway as they would only be there for the glory of it . . . . .

Going to kick the ball around again with Cody latter but he just shot through....

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by banjo

She says she has no feelings for me & that she doesn't love me .......

---

so what part of this you dont understand?

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by MEANZ06

so what part of this you dont understand?

---

I think there's more about this thread that you don't understand Meanz, may be it would be usefull you to read from the beginning before chiming in with callous comments. :mad:

Hi Jason, I got your SMS a bit earlier but only just got home.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by banjo

Na not realy but i am staying posotive..

Karen wants more than just a friendship with the other person & she doesn't know how much as she cant have him & she knows this i said its cause she was so low down that he made her feel good & talked to her & flirted with Karen while we where at such a low at home..He only wants to be friends with Karen he is happily married & has a very sick little girl. she is a little better now knowing that i have excepted the end fait.. I can't hold a gun to Karens head & make her stay......Is what i'm trying to say ..
I will still be trying hard to win her love back as much as i can i would just love to be able to talk with Karen & i keep telling her i love her & care for her..

I went down the road by myself thismorning & got the ham & chicken meat for lunch & the paper for Karen at bilo Then went round to the bread shop where Karen used to work & got breadrolls..

Just got back from Taking Cody to Kotara for a kicking T but we gave up on trying to find a carpark & just came back to the oval & kicked the footy around for awhile now back for lunch.....

Not to sure what to do with Karen , yes i want to fix it up now but i know it will take time..She doesn't want to open her self up to me again & have this happen again which i understand.....

She says she has no feelings for me & that she doesn't love me .......

I think use mite need to try & cheer her up i cant.. i am giving her her space & personal space as much as i can or know......

She is worried about me because she says she knows i cant live on my own & couldn't probably look after the kids to well on my own & we both not happy to let my parents help in anyway as they would only be there for the glory of it . . . . .

Going to kick the ball around again with Cody latter but he just shot through....

---

I hope we can sort it out even Karens Knows she cant have the other guy.. I think its still because she is still very low down & depressed at the moment..

I love Karen so much if i have to go i will if thats what will make Karen happy i will go back to my fathers atleast i can sorta watch the kids from there ....I have no nuts to stand upto my parents never have don't think i ever will.....Its been apart of the abuse that it just never goes away ...Was drumbed into me from birth for about 26 or 7 years you never backchat your parents ever . . . . .

I realy realy hope we can sort all this out & i am going to keep up with what i am doing....I had fun with cody today . . .. . .

Feeling for you Jason. Keep your head up no matter how hard it feels.

"They" say, things eventually get better, even though you cant believe it at the moment.

ITs the thought of not seeing the kids & Karen AGAIN & i have had some fun with Cody lately....I know i can't see the kids if it goes pear shape i can hardly look after myself at the best of times.........And my chest hurts so much it goes numb just to think of it happening . . .


I know i have ****EDUP real big time this time & done this to Karen it is in no way Karens fault for any of this & i am so ashamed of what i have put Karen through over the years & i hate myself so much i will never ever forgive myself for this Karen stands up for me as i don't she cares for me which i don't she has loved me when no one else would & like i said she saved me from my fate ...There realy noway i could even tell use how much Karen has done for me & no one will ever truely know how much....
I would of necked myself if i had stayed where i was ......

For me to ask Karen for another chance is to much she says & i do understand & i have had fun doing stuff for her in the last 6 to 8 weeks & i have had the best feeling to be able to care for Karen in a way she has for me for so many years . . . .

I am so sorry Karen for doing this to you & the kids mainly you baby....
It kills me to see you like this it realy does you should never have to suffer the head stuff that you have helped me with so much.....No one should have to go through the **** that goes on in my head ever....

Unfortunatly its not something that can be cured but something you have to live with if your ****edup enough to have it in the first place ......

OCD ontop of all that crap & you pulled me through so much i just want to make you better for the kids & i would like to live till old with you but i do know what i am asking baby i realy do & i wont put you through it again , its like i said i now have some help in the friends i have made here .& its the first time i have ever ASKED & i know how late it is..

A few years ago you nearly had a nervous breakdown cause of me aswell so yes i do understand fully ......

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by numpty

Feeling for you Jason. Keep your head up no matter how hard it feels.

"They" say, things eventually get better, even though you cant believe it at the moment.

---

Thanks numpty & thanks for the PM the other day ..........

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by banjo

ITs the thought of not seeing the kids & i have had some fun with Cody lately....I know i can't see the kids if it goes pear shape i can hardly look after myself at the best of times.........And my chest hurts so much it goes numb just to think of it happening . . .


I know i have ****EDUP real big time this time & done this to Karen it is in no way Karens fault for any of this & i am so ashamed of what i have put Karen through over the years & i hate myself so much i will never ever forgive myself for this Karen stands up for me as i don't she cares for me which i don't she has loved me when no one else would & like i said she saved me from my fate ...There realy noway i could even tell use how much Karen has done for me & no one will ever truely know how much....
I would of necked myself if i had stayed where i was ......

For me to ask Karen for another chance is to much she says & i do understand & i have had fun doing stuff for her in the last 6 to 8 weeks & i have had the best feeling to be able to care for Karen in a way she has for me for so many years . . . .

I am so sorry Karen for doing this to you & the kids mainly you baby....
It kills me to see you like this it realy does you should never have to suffer the head stuff that you have helped me with so much.....No one should have to go through the **** that goes on in my head ever....

Unfortunatly its not something that can be cured but something you have to live with if your ****edup enough to have it in the first place ......

OCD ontop of all that crap & you pulled me through so much i just want to make you better for the kids & i would like to live till old with you but i do know what i am asking baby i realy do & i wont put you through it again , its like i said i now have some help in the friends i have made here .& its the first time i have ever ASKED & i know how late it is..

A few years ago you nearly had a nervous breakdown cause of me aswell so yes i do understand fully ......

---

I am trying to empty or dump my head i can't keep telling Karen all the time ,She knows i love her .. . . .