Yeah a big week this week. . ..Quote:
Originally Posted by bblaze
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Yeah a big week this week. . ..Quote:
Originally Posted by bblaze
& boat :angel:Quote:
Originally Posted by banjo
thanks for the text Jas the other day,hope to speak soon
sorry i have not been on here following everything but how are you going jason?
Well i had my worste night sofar lastnight..I have been passing out but i have been dealing with it myself & have been ok till lastnight..I think its hit me & the realisation of ending up at my parents well use know how i said my heart beats to fast in a panic & i have to be carefull well now its getting to the point that it slows so much i pass out..Well usualy i land near my swag & just climb in once i come to..Well i must of went into shock last night & i smaked my head on some of the ferniture so i remember not being able to move or get up then i remember Karen helping me up & i think i cowered & tryed to hide from her with the shakes...Cant remember ..I do remember puting Karen back to bed & going for a leak & Karen was asleep as soon as i was finished & went to bed..
**** my head hurts today i must of smacked my left temple on something its sore with a lump..
I am staying posotive But i think the realisation of ending up at the oldies has hit me big time..
Someone asked me yesterday why am i doing everything from all the house work to shopping & looking after Karen.. UM well i owe Karen that much ,Then they said what if Karen doesn't get better, Agian i would do this for the rest of my life if needed i love Karen so its no drama...
So today should be interesting As when i was out having my last smoke lastnight there where a heap of people just up the road i could see them & they where all carrying on the one let loose & threw up so i heard it & seen it so well use know what i'm like if that happens....
Have to drop Karen at the gym at 10.30 then i have to goto bilo for smokes & then to woollies for the coke bilo is ok but woollies is a differant kettle of fish its inside the new shopping center & after seeing the clowns lastnight well this will be fun ...
Then i was going to sit in the car with me book while Karen does her orientation at the gym...
So it should be interesting today. .. .
It could be that all this thinking about going back to your parents is the thing that's holding your life back and preventing you from moving forwards. For instance:
So why don't you decide to stop acting on the basis that its going to go wrong and start acting on the basis that its going to be OK. If so, you could move on, continue your improvement, organise a project, maybe knock up a shed that could be pulled apart if you move, and go forwards with your life.Quote:
Or if you why it wont happen again for me IS that the money that is left in the bank i have to use to buy a fridge,kettle,toaster,microwave & a materas if Karen desides i have to go...
Also, I see a problem that you are waiting for others to tell you what's going to happen with your life. Why? It's your life - you don't need the approval of others to decide how you will live. So, don't expect others to tell you what to do - make your own decisiions. Take charge - it's your life.
Your future is what YOU decide it will be. It doesn't depend on what others do or say. Its up to you, no-one else. So, if you want your life to continue to improve, then decide to make it happen and go and do it. This will reduce the fear you have about the future because, instead of feeling dependent on the decisions others make, you will be deciding your own future. You can do it, you've already shown you can change your life in significant ways, such as how you're now doing so much more and looking after Karen. That proves you can do it, so just gradually keep doing more and more, at the pace that you are comfortable with. And at some point in the future you'll look back and think, "Gee, I've really come a long way."
Just a thought. All the best, mate.
Well Karens up & yes i did cower from her & try & hide from her she said....
I thinks its only because she frightens me at the moment . My life is in her hands as such i spose so yeah i;m frightend of her...
BUT SHE IS LOOKING FORWARD TO GOING TO THE GYM THIS MORNING THOUGH WHICH IS GOOD.....
Karen said i can't think or talk like that as it mite not happen or probably wont happen ......Quote:
Originally Posted by DiscoMick
Banjo, Banjo, Banjo, Karen made a negative statement and you just automatically accept it as fact. Prove her wrong old son, prove her wrong.!!!!;)
You have made gains since starting this thread, nobody was more surprised than me when you walked in the door at ALL FOUR x 4 on Thursday. I wasn't even looking out for you, I was reading a book in the waiting room and I heard the front door go and there you were, AS LARGE AS LIFE, MATE!!!!
YOU DID SOMETHING POSITIVE AND PROVED ME WRONG!!!:D I shook his hand and said "Well, done Mate, are you feeling OK" Banjo was shaking like a leaf, but on that day he beat his Demons...
Well i have ****ed up again Karen has gone to the gym ..Came out said i'm going to the gym then walked back inside to get her bag then went straight to the car & was just going to leave..So i said what you can't say bye or see ya when i get home.....
& i have made a seen apparently....All i wanted was to say bye & get one back...
YES i am jelouse i haven't been able to touch Karen for 3 months at all now i cant say i love her ...
She goes down the gym in these sexy as hell pants & i complement her on it which i have been doing all the time ...
IS it so hard to say bye or see ya when i get home..
**** me i have been doing everything Karen has wanted & i keep telling her i want to keep doing this as i love looking after her.......
I AM SO LONELY & SCARED IS IT WRONG TO JUST WANT KAREN TO SAY BYE OR SEE YA WHEN I GET HOME....
I haven't stopped doing everything she has asked of me .....
So i recon i will be at mums by tonight .....
YES i just want to DIE now i cant do a ****ing thing to proove or even just inpress Karen at all ....
I will do them all the favor & save them all the crap from me ever again....
I miss Karen so much she is all i have to talk to ever ....
ITS LIKE AUS SAID I DONT HAVE ANY PERSONAL FRIENDS & THAT HAS BEEN PLAYING ON ME FOR SO LONG EVEN KAREN HAS VICKIE.....
I WILL DO THE WORLD THE FAVOUR & JUST DROP DEAD...