Embarrassment

Well one of those crappy days for me today...Didn't sleep to well had nightmares well we call them that,things from the past pop into my mind like ghosts of past makes me wrestless.Alot of people that suffer the same as me have bad suicidal tendancies im lucky there i don't,i wouldn't have the nuts to do it & i couldn't do that to Karen & the kids & all you guys ...I do wish i was dead sometimes but thats as far as it goes for me.like today i wish the ground would open up & just swallow me..Depresion is a terible thing it effects people differently for me it makes me feel useless,small & all the past just drops in on me like a ton of bricks.I wont take any drugs for it as they are all very very adictive & have realy bad side effects....I used to have these days 3 to 4 times a week but not as many now i have everyone here to talk to maybe 1 to 2 times a week sometimes none. I have all you guys to thank for that...See this is the only contact i have with the outside world this forum & i am enjoying having somewhere to chat ,talk to people that share the same interests as me..Once we have settled in the new place i want to make more of an effort to go out for my small drives & get to some shops & just basicly meet some people..We met AUSFREE a week ago that was great..They say a change is as good as a holiday so hopefuly the new house will be that for us..Fatty's excited its very modern inside with polished floorboards & all..LOOK i feel a little beterer allready..

Sorry to hear today's not so good for you Jason. Keep up the brilliant effort, but take it in small steps. Each step can be a minor victory, but unfortunatly not all will be forward movements. Focus on the successes and take the others on the chin, undetered. You've made remarkable progress here, how about setting some goals, Maybe a BBQ with AUS on the next public holiday, or something like that. Your goals need to take you out of your comfort zone yet be achievable, so you need to set them. Good luck and all the best mate.

THANKS Ian yeah i need some goals i think a BBQ mite push me a bit just yet though..
AS use all know we don't drink (father & brother are alcoholics)where my trouble stems from..But i was thinking once we have moved & settled in i mite find out what aus drinks & ask him over for a drink & a chin wag i think i could handle that.Fatty said when we met him his voice sounded like he was a bit nervouse & i thought yay cause i wasn't i was quiet happy & relaxed plus it was cause aus just droped in it wasn't planed so i didn't have time to think about it or dwell on it so i couldn't change my mind on it at the last minute....this mite be a realistic goal for me i think well i hope its a goal.Plus aus has turstys & fridys off so that mite work for us to...

I drove past the Morpeth house this morning (well, as usual for a Thursday!) and no, I forgot my camera, but I had a very quick count as I drove home (was running late so didn't slow down or stop). There are at least 9 in the yard plus the td5 110 on the street. Couple of ex-army, at least one 109 ute-timber trayback (S3 I think it was), plus a few S2/2A and S3 wagons.

I wonder just what condition they are all in, never seems to move or anything change with them. Does anyone here know much about them all?

Sorry to hear you had a bad night Jason, but keep focussed on the positives, sounds like you've been making some real progress lately, and is good to hear some excitement about the house move, and that you met up with Ausfree for a chat! Keep strong, and just keep going one little step at a time. I have big respect for yourself and Karen - I think you're both doing great!

Hope today gets a bit better!

Seano

This ones for the moderators,whats involved in being a moderator & what do you need to be a moderator...Can i apply to be one ???? Who do i speak to????Is it hard????Just thought it mite be something i could do maybe..??:D

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Originally Posted by banjo

THANKS Ian yeah i need some goals i think a BBQ mite push me a bit just yet though..
AS use all know we don't drink (father & brother are alcoholics)where my trouble stems from..But i was thinking once we have moved & settled in i mite find out what aus drinks & ask him over for a drink & a chin wag i think i could handle that.Fatty said when we met him his voice sounded like he was a bit nervouse & i thought yay cause i wasn't i was quiet happy & relaxed plus it was cause aus just droped in it wasn't planed so i didn't have time to think about it or dwell on it so i couldn't change my mind on it at the last minute....this mite be a realistic goal for me i think well i hope its a goal.Plus aus has turstys & fridys off so that mite work for us to...

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A dicky gearbox and the bill to go with it will do that every time. :o;)
Go with whatever suits you Jason, achievable challenges. :)

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Originally Posted by Vixen

As a moderator......I wouldn't suggest it :( You can sometimes cop a lot of abuse, and have to act impartially (no favouritism) and this can be a problem at times. It is not what I would call an easy job but it can be a lot of fun at times too, but the downside might not be such a good idea for you as you need positives in your life not negatives.

Incisor has the say as to who and who isn't a moderator ;) as he runs the forum

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THANKS Vixen.bugga ,,na its just something i thought of since i seem to be on all the time ..yeah your right i don't need anymore abuse ,i get enuff of that now (not on here) from the family.....

Well Karens back from doing the shopping..& guess what you know how i was saying she kinked her back the other day well today she was walking past the video shop & gets called in (we know the owners) so in she goes talking to martin for a while as we haven't seen him for ages .so when she is leaving she goes down the stairs only 3 BUT not karen she misses the last one & falls flat on her bum second time she has done that at that shop & she now has a sprained ankel again..She only has to sneeze to hard & sprians or BREAKS her right ankle..She used to do a lot of dancing & earobics more so the dancing so she has week ankles..So martin says hang on i'll ring jason & get him to come down & get you..Karen says bullsheet he will laugh at me cause i am allways tripping over or down stuff i only have to walk out the back yard & i can break me ankle she tells him so he had a bit of a chuckle....She keeps blaming her verdigo for it..SO now i have told her she has to take it easy wether she listens is another thing though...:wasntme:

So aus how did your tour guide gig go & your trip to sydney today..
The young fella seen you when you went past thismorning & tooted he goes whos that we dont know anyone in a small bus....

Well again she doesn't listen to me & has decided to go a shopping again out at glendale more shops out there....STUBBON AS..