Thread: Embarrassment

I hope Karen and you can work it out.

well been chating with Karen this morning & i'm pretty sure i will be going today or tomorrow .She says she doesn't know what to do & the she feels like she is taking advantage of me.. She is pushing me further away now for the first time ever Karen now covers up when i'm getting her ready for bed & that just isn't Karen she usualy wouldn't care if anyone seen her ...But she did say she is leaning more to the way of us spliting up & i can't do a thing about it ..She hates me doing anything for her or that i am just doing stuff....

Once i go back to mums i wont have the net for long or my phone & i know i wont do anything as i am & have always only pushed myself to do anything for Karen & the kids & once thats gone i will go back to what i was ..Only this time it will be in a 1 room flat thing , room with ****er & shower thats it..

So i will stay online for as long as i can then that will be gone aswell . I am going to file for bankruptsy again so that the mobile bill can be paid out & then there wont be any bills that we have to worry about..

If i'm lucky my mother will pickup my smokes & some food for me , I will be getting Karen to come & pick up the car as i wont need it & they may as well use it cause i wont be going out again as i wont have any reason to push any more i only do what i can now for Karen & the kids i have never looked after myself & i really don't care about myself never have...

So there use go thats whats happening here now ..I am dredding tomorrow as fathers day has alway been with Karen & the kids together so i'm not looking forward to it at all ...

ITS BEEN GOOD & FUN THANKYOU TO ALL CONCERNED FOR ALL YOUR HELP & ADVISE OVER THE LAST YEAR..

I have been having a panic attack for nearly a week now & i wait for everyone to goto bed so i can shake & all that crap, spent 3 hours in the bathroom last night cold sweats shaking feeling like i was going to throw up , passout , **** myself or **** myself all with my heart in my throat like i have never felt before just wanting to die ..Karen has never made me have a panic attack before so this is so hard & so strong i have never had them so strong before....

Karen is an amazing woman with the most beautiful smile & so kind hearted to everyone , she is so strong & i hope use will all keep an eye on her for me & the kids aswell . Call in & see them sometimes & say G'day makesure there are all well & happy for me please guys as i wont know a thing...



Thnkyou everyone ....


















































































































PS i am still staying posative & i will always hope Karen & I could work this out as they all meen so much to me its not funny they all keep me alive & wanting to breath . . .THEY COMPLETE MY LIFE ALL OF THEM.......