Yes i can stay here Karen has said & at the most she can offer me is a carer..
But i'm careing for her at the moment so i doubt she will be able to be my carer anymore once she is better .....Or once she is better am i surposed to stop doing what i am so she can be my carer ,& i dont want to do that because thats how we got here in the first place..Plus me treating her like crap...
Karen told me lastnight i am just like my oldman & that kills me i never ever wanted to be like him & thought i went out of my way to be differant..
I do show her love & respect ....I am so sick of talking to myself the kids wont talk to me they don't realy talk to Karen & ask me why wont mum talk to us very much , i tell them because use have treated your mother bad for a long time to, use have seen me do it so use think its ok so i recon mum blames use as well to a very small degree...
The only reason i have been in her face before this has happend was to spend some time with her as she is out so much she doesn't get home till sometimes after the kids get home & i just wanted a little of her time so we could spend some time together.....
Spent most of the day yesterday in the vegie garden as you only have to spit on it & the weeds grow 3feet tall ,& i had let it go for so long i lost interest in it as the soil is so full of weed & grass seeds its hard to try & keep up with it...
I'm going to ask Karen today if i can buy the chaep tattoo kit on fleabay today & if so i am going to pick up a big scetch book from the cheap shop down the road today, well if Karen lets me pick her up from the gym i dodn't want to drive down there just to get the book as i don't have to go do anything today....
Been talking with Fred & she said she would like me to teach her how to use the machines & do colour blending & liner work.She can apreiciate how much work goes into a tattoo .So i will do some drawings with her & show her some tricks to get the resolts your after..Its totaly differant drawing on skin with a needle going into the skin at about 3000 times a minute..If you don't get it right you will just rip the skin & wreck the whole thing,But its a carree she is interested in so i will teach her what i know & then she mite be able to score an aprenticeship....
Well i have to go into the garden again today as i only got one bed done yesterday & its time to but in the tomatos & all the sumer goodies..
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