Thread: Embarrassment

Originally Posted by Landy Smurf

Cornelia wants me to go and see someone professional about my depression, and i think she is right it is something i need to get over or at least understand and know how to manage.
I have no idea where to go, any ideas?
today i am packing everything up at my mums place(where i am atm) that is cornelias or anything that was ours or related to our relationship.
I left anything that was related to her there when i left because i knew that would only slow me down on getting over this.
thing s would be a lot easier if i didnt have uni right now or at least assignments due(they are all overdue) and that is getting me down a lot to.
I do need to find myself as they say, find friends and things that i enjoy.
no offence but in general australias do **** me off, i find them boring.
I dont drink which i suppose makes it a bit hard i a way at my age to start being around friends.
I do enjoy land rovers and even though it also annoys me a lot, it seems to be the common hobby, but all my hobbys i dont really meet that many new people or friends especially my own age which you need to have aswell.
all my family knows now about my depression which is something didnt want but i suppose its better they know even though i still wish they didnt because it makes me feel more like a loser.my family doesnt eveer hug or talk about emotions, except for my nan but she isnt here anymore.
I have thought about doing a gap year kind of stuff even if it is for 6 months but i dont think it will be such a good idea with my recovery.
I am looking at getting a car because i do need one now.
I dont just want an a-b car.
I want a land rover most likely a series swb that is registered or county/defender diesel but they are too expensive. I have thought about discos but still unsure.
also looking at utes like hiluxs i had one of them before 2x4 dualcab, it was really good all round and we only sold it because we were moving to sweden well yeh that didnt happen.
i need something i am happy to drive or can serve me a purpose hence the land rover or ute. also thinking about a few cars mainly older, maybe a mini but i am unsure of the reliability of them.

No Tony your defantly NOT a looser..I feel like that all the time..& karen & i dont do the hug thing or with the kids unless there hurt as such..AS for Minis ive had heaps of them & they are reliable if looked after & if it rains & you start to get water in through the grill they start to short out as the dizzy get water on & in it..HEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEH MY CAR will be up forsale soon BUT its a LWB & petrol..But has everything a youg Bloke would want for trips away ..As for seeing someone that is intierly upto your i dont think depression is cureable but you learn to deal with it & what brings it on & way to avoid those things that start it.I have had depression since a kid I had seen someone about it years ago but back then it wasnt as well known or delt with subject.I have learnt to deal with it & i know what can start mine..Its like my AGORAPHOBIA it cant be cured but can learn to deal with it & what triggers it.I dont put myself in situations that will trigger it BUT i will be when i go to the funeral..I'd give my left nut to be able to work..But i cant so i have to live with it..Now the kids are older we loose payments so Karen & I are now having to learn a new budget & unfortunatly that doesnt include landrovers or my playing with them or building them its just a part of our lives now that we need to change..



I finally took the water tank off the camper today as we wanted to turn it around so we can put the filler on the passengers side ..BUT the top of the tank is stuffed & someone has tried to fix it with EPOXY GGGGGGRRRRR
instead of getting it plastic welded..So now need to replace that & the filler as when we got it we didnt get a ket to unlock the filler so had to break it all apart to get it off..





But Tony Please dont get into the habbit of thinking or feeling like a LOOSER you dont want to end up like i am.You are young & full of life & have a great LIFE ahead of you..
UNI will keep you busy & you will meet new people INCLUDING the FEMALE variety..Where will you do uni up there or will you have to come down to the big uni at Jesmond ????

PS see your local doctor about seeing someone for depression & speak to them first about all the options available..

i would have to go to armidale.
I really have no passion for anything atm.
I really wish i could just go to sleep and wake up and forget everything that has happened.
im sorry to hear about your land rovers i hope you can find an alternative.
i packed all of cornelia stuff up that was here and the room is so empty. i know it is better that seeing stuff that reminds me of her, but now the room is so empty so i guess it reflects how i feel.
i thought i was doing ok until i had to pack the stuff up , hopefully it will get better soon.

Tony, so sorry to hear. Go and get advise from your doctor.

Get back to Uni and meet new friends, it will take your mind off things, keep active, be around people you like

Armidale Uni, perfect, away from family, move into a share house, instant friends, and closer to us I'll give you a BIG hug, ask Jas how big

Stay safe

Mrs hh

Originally Posted by Landy Smurf

thanks for the support guys.
jason she is suppose to be coming to australia in february next year, but she can still turn down the offer it is not locked in yet.
jim you certainly are a very cheerful guy for someone who has such rough things happen.

Tony, that's only part of it, if you go back to the start of this Thread you will see I have also gone through the trauma's of my father belting my mother when I was a child (those images never leave you) and also the problems of trying to help my step son over come drug problems, this caused major headaches.

I keep saying........you only get one crack at life.......there is no second chance, if you have setbacks and we all do, you must deal with it as best as possible (yes,the nightmares and flashbacks are there) but look at the bright side all the time. I think Jase and I get along so well (even though there is a big age difference) is because we understand each other.

I would like to visit Jase more often than I do but unfortunately, working six days a week makes it difficult.

Jason, Mrs Aus and I went on the bus tour today, thoroughly enjoyed ourselves, everybody got along well and we had a meal and sampled beers and wines and joked with each other and it was a great day weather wise.

On the way back we had to work out puzzles and answer questions, which brought howls of laughter on the bus and guess what..........our team of four won. We won some beer and I got a Celtic Cream Wine Cocktail for Mrs Aus.
Which she had tasted at the Brewery and loved it. So when I gave that to her she was over the moon.

Tony, I don't suffer from depression although I have been depressed at times so mate, take care there is a light at the end of the tunnel, you are only a young man and life has a long way to go yet for you. Exciting times ahead, I feel.

Originally Posted by banjo

No Tony your defantly NOT a looser..I feel like that all the time..& karen & i dont do the hug thing or with the kids unless there hurt as such..AS for Minis ive had heaps of them & they are reliable if looked after & if it rains & you start to get water in through the grill they start to short out as the dizzy get water on & in it..HEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEH MY CAR will be up forsale soon BUT its a LWB & petrol..But has everything a youg Bloke would want for trips away ..As for seeing someone that is intierly upto your i dont think depression is cureable but you learn to deal with it & what brings it on & way to avoid those things that start it.I have had depression since a kid I had seen someone about it years ago but back then it wasnt as well known or delt with subject.I have learnt to deal with it & i know what can start mine..Its like my AGORAPHOBIA it cant be cured but can learn to deal with it & what triggers it.I dont put myself in situations that will trigger it BUT i will be when i go to the funeral..I'd give my left nut to be able to work..But i cant so i have to live with it..Now the kids are older we loose payments so Karen & I are now having to learn a new budget & unfortunatly that doesnt include landrovers or my playing with them or building them its just a part of our lives now that we need to change..



I finally took the water tank off the camper today as we wanted to turn it around so we can put the filler on the passengers side ..BUT the top of the tank is stuffed & someone has tried to fix it with EPOXY GGGGGGRRRRR
instead of getting it plastic welded..So now need to replace that & the filler as when we got it we didnt get a ket to unlock the filler so had to break it all apart to get it off..





But Tony Please dont get into the habbit of thinking or feeling like a LOOSER you dont want to end up like i am.You are young & full of life & have a great LIFE ahead of you..
UNI will keep you busy & you will meet new people INCLUDING the FEMALE variety..Where will you do uni up there or will you have to come down to the big uni at Jesmond ????

PS see your local doctor about seeing someone for depression & speak to them first about all the options available..

Good call, Jason!! By the way, you are not a loser, you recognise your problem and trying to deal with it!!!!!!

WOW, for someone so young, you certainly have acquired some very valuable friends here, going on the responses above.
Lots of great advice, I am not going to add to that, I would be the last person to give advice on relationships, however, one thing I would say is to get your uni studies up to date.
i believe it is too important to just let slip, and will keep your mind active.
Also just for now, dont try to do everything at once, a small a-b car will do until you get more established and on your feet, the LRs will come one day.
ie, Get the quals, get good job, more money, buy more toys. All good things cone to those wait.
best regards
Brian.

thanks for all the advice and support guys.
my mind and feeling are still all over the place but i think i am slowly getting there. we agreed to only email each other once a week and well fingers crossed next week she will send me an email. i dont know if we have ever gone a week without speaking before. so maybe this time will give her something to think about.
As i still want to be with her i dont want to move on just yet, but i am hoping that by next weekend she has a clearer mind about everything and then that can help me move onto whatever i need to do. If she hasnt decided by then i will move on anyway.
I am thinking about getting a shared place with people at uni, and even though it is too late to do on campus i should still be able to go to the lectures.
The other option is i stay here and do uni and hopefully get a bit more of my series one sorted.
I have been thinking about do a 4-6 month gap year kind of thing overseas. I have seen quite a few that i am interested in and i could still continue to do my uni.
I am really glad that i can talk to people on here and that we can share stories and advice. Even cornelia told me to come on here because she knows that from previous times that this is where i get the most support.
I think it is easier to talk to people you dont see very often or even some you dont really know.
Jim I do remember something about your dad but not to many details one day i will go back and read this thread from the start maybe i will even get one of those programs that read the text for you.

well i am going to start off getting counselling on the phone with my uni. i hate talking over the phone, i would sooner do it in person because it feels more real. I am thinking of going up to armidale for a few days and see how i go, but i may do a phone call one first, i had a brief conversation yesterday just to let her know what was happening