I have had to make a dreadful decision

[olbod]

My wife Betty has been ill for a long time now and I have had to put things on hold while I nursed her.
I have been happy to do this because we have been Mates now for fifty one years.

Eight weeks ago she was admitted to hospital as her heart and lungs were
having big problems.
There was nothing that could be done to affect any sort of cure.
Slowly she has been experiencing more and more discomfort, tho not
actual pain. She kept asking to be taken off her back but no position she
was moved into helped.
On Monday she broke down and begged me to make it stop.
We discussed together our options and settled on a course of action.
Yesterday morning we had a meeting with the Doctors and I made the decision.
We have now stopped all treatment and medication and she was sedated last night and placed on a morphine drip.
When I left her last night I had to behave normally Knowing that it was likely to be the last time I would be able to talk with her. Leaving was I think, the hardest thng I have ever had to do
She was still a little aware this morning and gave me a big smile, that
cheered me up alot I can tell you
I am expecting the call from the hospital at any time now.

I am disapointed that she didn't stay healthy and live another ten years
or so but I am not sad that her suffering will soon be over.
Not an easy decision to make. Yesterday I felt as though I was holding her hand while leading her up the steps to the gallows.

Sorry to burden you with this sort of thing but I had to say something to someone.

Robert.

[JDNSW]

You have my sympathy - I have been there pretty much. Almost eleven years ago my wife spent her last month in hospital, waiting for a lung transplant that never came. I spent the last night by her side.

John

[Psimpson7]

I am very sorry to read that Robert, It's very sad. I wish you all the best.

Rgds
Peter

[bblaze]

Thats a tough call to make, how to say the right thing at a time like this. Dont think there is a right thing to say. Hang in there and take care of your self and share your grief with those close to you. Remember all the good times.
blaze

[d@rk51d3]

I'm sorry to hear what you're going through.

It sounds as if she has some comfort and relief at least. Sometimes you can't ask for more. Our thoughts will be with you both during this difficult time.

[Chops]

Hi Robert,,
I went through a very similar thing with my mother not so long ago,, I feel your pain and anguish. I wish you all the best.
Chops

[Rangier Rover]

So sorry for you, brings tears hearing this sort of thing, so unfair. You have done your best and takes a strong person to make a decision as you have. May peace be with your wife.

Tony

[one_iota]

Hang in there Robert.

The hardest decisions to take are often the best.

The quality of her life while she is here is paramount.

[Tote]

My thoughts are with you, good people make decisions that are best for those that they love.

Regards,
Tote

[MacMan]

Hi Robert.

It's good that it was a discussion you had together. As hard as it is, you're doing what is right.

My thoughts are with you both.

[sdt463]

Hang in there Robert . It's a **** deal But your friends will see you through.
I went through it 4 years ago and can feel for you.
my verry best wishes Dave

[Grumbles]

This is an agonising experience that you are enduring. There is nothing I can say which will ease your burden or heal your wife although I wish this was possible. I can only wish you well. Not bottling your grief and speaking out and sharing your anguish may well be the first step on the long path to easing the load and helping your self to cope.

[big guy]

I hope it feels better to vent and although it will not change anything, many on here feel for you. Many have been there and believe me, I have been there many times with loved ones and truly feel for you.
Long after the pain is gone the memories will live on and take strength from those and be with those that give you strength and make you smile.

Live is short, what a grim reminder.

Take care and spend time with loved ones.

[abaddonxi]

I went through something similar with my father in law, and that was hard.

Must be a lot harder for you.

Well, not hard. Those decisions are easy, often there's only one way you can go and still wake up to yourself in the morning.

But the rest, oh, all my sympathy to you.

[RichardK]

Robert, that is so very sad, I very deeply sympathize with you, I hope that she has minimal suffering

[KarlB]

Thank you for sharing your anguish Robert. You can be sure all our thoughts are with you and your wife. The decision you have made together is a special one. Peace be with you both. Take care of yourself.

Regards
KarlB

[hiline]

hang in there buddy .........

atleast you know you best mate will be free of pain..........
and the best way to ease your pain is to remember what a great mate she was..........

never a easy choice to make mate,i've had to do it twice myself
once with my Mum who passed in my arms and the other was a child of ours
that couldn't be helped...........

[seano87]

Its a tough decision to make, but there is a time when I think its gets to be the right decision. Over time it will get easier, and you will remember her for the years you've spent together in a long life of what I'm sure has been full of ups, downs and inbetweens, but its the ups that will shape the true memories.

I work in a public hospital, and have a lot to do with terminally ill patients, there becomes a time when all that can be said and done has been said and done, and the tough decision has to be made, in the best interest for everyone, but especially the one who is suffering.

I commend you on your strength and resilience, and will spare a thought for you as you go through this. Know that there are many out there who understand even a little of what you might be feeling, and in time it will get easier. Stay strong mate.

Seano

[Gumnut]

Robert,

Courage and moral fortitude are not just empty words on paper. Your joint decision has required both qualities, in equal measure, by both of you. And also, that in your inevitable grief, you must remember your wife's courage, and look after yourself as well.

Andy

[digger]

Robert,

This is what Betty and yourself discussed and the action you both decided on, you may have had to sign the paperwork but your'e only doing as Betty has asked. I think youve shown amazing dedication to her by doing this instead of trying to keep her here for yourself longer.

Now is the time to try very very hard to think of the best times, all of them and hold onto those thoughts.



It hurts so much to watch you suffer
Please dont struggle any longer
I know you're trying to help me,
Please, Just set yourself free.

I love you always with all of my heart
but for now we will have to be apart,
I know that you will watch over me
so please, please just set yourself free

I am here and I'll live but I'll yearn,
till I know one day it will come to my turn,
Promise that you'll wait for me,
but please please set yourself free.
(by courtney sauvre)


Mate, we are all praying for you and Im sure everyone is here for you in whatever we we can.

I hope that Betty doesnt suffer and that you do not make yourself suffer too much either.


Campbell clan

[Johnsy]

Robert,

Thinking of you at this very tough time.

Johnsy

[midal]

I don't know you mate, but I do feel for you. Be strong.

[Lotz-A-Landies]

My wife Betty has been ill for a long time now and I have had to put things on hold while I nursed her.
I have been happy to do this because we have been Mates now for fifty one years.

<snip>.Robert

What an awful decision and so very very sad for both of you. My deepest sympathy in this most difficult time.

Diana :BigCry:

[Pedro_The_Swift]

I'm so sorry Robert,,

I cannot comprehend how people live past these things,,
but they do,
and I'm hoping so will you.

[Bearman]

Robert, you have my deepest sympathy. Such a hard thing to go through. I am not far away if you need someone to talk to or share a drink with. Regards...Brian

[Hucksta]

Stay strong bud, easier to say than do ......

i hope i never have to go through what you are, you have my sympathy pal ...

[ScottW]

Keep your chin up mate. The rain falls on all, the good and the bad.
You are in our prayers.

[VladTepes]

So sorry to hear that Robert but "unload" any time mate... best to get it off your chest, so to speak, rather than bottle it up.

Outr thoughts are with you.

[p38arover]

Everyone before me has said what I am thinking and feeling,

We know you have made a decision that was impossibly difficult and one we hope we never have to make ourselves.

I hope your friends and family are around you you, Robert. Your AULRO friends are with you in spirit.

Elisabeth and I wish you well.

Ron

[trobbo]

my heart is with you Robert. My wife and I have often spoken about how our ends will come and we are both of the view that when the quality is gone we turn the machines off and make life comfortable.

Rest assurred you have made the right decision for your wife albeit a very hard one.

[JohnF]

We have also have suffered loss, but in my case not of a wife, so I can feel for you. Words are so hard at such times so I will not say any more. I will be praying for you.

[ant_schomacker]

Mate, all the best! As an ambo I know all too well that feeling of wanting to do something to help, but being unable to achieve anything. My thoughts are with you.

Ant

[Redback]

My sympathys to you and your family, it is a horrible feeling, all the best for the future.

Baz.

[banjo]

Robert,

Thinking of you at this very tough time.

You have our sympathy to you & your family . .


Jason & Karen..

[Basil135]

Our thoughts are with you both at this time.

Having never had to go thru anything like this, I cant pretend to understand the pain you are feeling.

You have our thoughts & sympathy.

[adonuff]

Our thoughts are with you, we recently went through a simular time with my partners Dad. Simular decisions were made.

It was comforting to know that the last days, hours were pain free and ended with Dignity and peace.

Best wishes Andrew & Leigh

[JamesH]

Thoughts are with you, your family and friends at this painful time.

[LandyAndy]

Robert
You have done the best you could have to help your soul mate.Rest easy knowing her pain is over.Remember,there is ALWAYS support from your AULRO mates when you need to chat.
Andrew

[dmdigital]

Robert, our thoughts are with you you in this difficult time.

[TwoUp]

Robert,
Similarly Julies and my thoughts are with you.

I was told once "Cometh the hour, cometh the man", I am not a wordsmith, but I do understand this. We are here for you.

Regards,
PeterW

[Disco_owner]

hey mate , my thoughts are with you and your partner.:(

[jake]

G'day Robert,

I sit here reading your post and feel lost for words, We as all have posted feel for you and your best friend, by writing this to you I acknowledge your feelings and feel for your pain. Many of us are touched in life with circumstance that may never be fair. Sorry mate, When you feel the need write what you feel, each of us cares and each will listen.

Jake

[Tombie]

Our thoughts are with you also.
Take some comfort in the fact you are surrounded by friends here.

[DeeJay]

Robert,
Take care, thank you for sharing this tough time with us all. My wife was a nurse for 30 years & always took the time to hold hands with her patients at times like this. I'm sure your heart tells you the choice was best.
David

[BMKal]

Thoughts are with you Robert. I can't even begin to imagine what it must be like to have to make a decision like that, and hope that I never have to.

[Tank]

Robert, our thoughts are with you and I admire you and your partners courage, Regards Frank.

[George130]

Sorry to hear.
Hang on in. I have been there wit family and it's hard at the time but it sound like you made the right decision.

[scrambler]

Robert, you are on the heart of everyone here. Condolences and prayers.

[Barefoot Dave]

Robert, Betty and Family. Our thoughts and feelings are with you.
Betty has the greatest gift of love from you.
To be strong for you both.
Think of the 50 years you have had together,
the chance for you to prepare together for this time,
The easing of the physical pain of this world.
It's obvious you are among mates, here. Reach out as you need, now and in the future.
Dave.

[Shonky]

Words fail...

I can only offer my hollow sounding condolences. :(

[Landy Smurf]

i have never met you but i can tell you are a wonderful man

[olbod]

I have to say many THANKS to you all for your thoughts and best wishes,
it's overwhelming.

Well, I have to now let you know that Betty passed away at 9-50 am
this morning.
It was quite peaceful. She was a little aware, unable to speak but she gave me a nice big smile.

I can only describe my feelings as something akin to relief.

She was always logging on to our Forum and she particularly liked to read
the trip reports. In fact it was her that collected the landrover photo's,
I think we have over 14000 in the file.

I broke the news to the Chicken and I am quite sure she knows, because
she has been very strangely quiet.

I will be off the Forum for a while because I will shortly be very busy
putting everything in order etc.

I can only suppose at the moment that somewhere down the track
I will be looking for that little two dog town out toward the inland.
Boulia keeps coming to mind but no hurry, first things first.

Thanks again.
Robert.

[THE BOOGER]

sorry to hear but if she is no longer in pain then perhaps its for the best we are all hear any time you need to talk

[Signal1]

Our prayers are with you at this time. So sorry to hear.

[Grumbles]

It seems she had a gentle passing surrounded with love. And you'll remember that smile for ever. What a memory!

[Narangga]

Thanks for letting us know - both before she left and now.

She rests in peace and so should you.

Thoughts and prayers for the next few weeks.

[midal]

Sincere condolences mate

[geckos]

Robert,

I cant imagine how you feel. Words fail me......
Your in my prayers.

Geck

[Grockle]

you are in our thoughts Robert

[UncleHo]

G'day Olbod :)

My deepest and most profound condolences to yourself and family, I have followed this thread from the beginning, before posting,put your affairs in order and tend to family,and after there are many many AULROites which will be able to ease your gief through this forum.



Vale. Betty



Uncle Ho

[eb220]

Olbod,

Sorry to hear your best mate has passed.

Chris, Nix and Bekah

[LandyAndy]

Robert.
Betty rests in peace.
May you treasure your memories of her.
You were there for her at her moment of need and you helped her in the best way you could have.
Remember,we are all here if you need support.
Andrew

[justinc]

My condolences and thoughts, Robert. Take One day at a time, :(.


JC

[p38arover]

Our sincere condolences Robert.

We've been married for 40years so we understand the bond between you and Betty and the difficult decision you had to make.

We're glad you were with her when she passed away - and I'm sure she was, too.

All the very best,

Ron and Elisabeth

[banjo]

Our condolences and thoughts, Robert. Take One day at a time, & be sure to look after yourself..

Jason & Karen . .

[Landy Smurf]

sorry to hear

[blitz]

I / we are here for you - we may never met but we are all family on here and we share your loss as best we can in our own way

[digger]

God Bless

[chunk]

Sincere condolences

[lardy]

Hey Robert,
I understand the relief you feel, It's only because you always want the best for the ones you love.

That is a beautiful thing you did there matey,when she had enough you saw her right as best you could have.

Although we have never had the pleasure to meet personally old bean, should you find the need to have a yarn about anything you fancy my ears are always open.
kindest and best Andy

[discoveryseries1]

im sorry to hear of your loss, but also happy for the 51 years you were able to spend together, my thoughts are with you.

jeff.

[DiscoMick]

You did the right thing Robert. No words can really express how people feel.
I had to do the same thing with my father who had lung cancer and emphysthema. The first time we did the big rescue including air ambulance to Sydney and he spent a week on a machine. Afterwards, we were talking one day and he said, "Next time, just let me go quietly". So we had a talk to the doctor and staff at the nursing home and that's what happened. Next time, he was allowed to just go quietly, with drugs to ease the pain. I'm sure it was what he wanted.
My wife is a nurse and she's seen it a lot. Sometimes its the close relatives who can't bear the thought of losing the loved one, so they go all out to keep the person alive, and actually end up causing that person more pain and suffering.
You can celebrate all those years together and enjoy your happy memories.

[Jamo]

Deepest sympathy Robert. Our thoughts and prayers are with you.

[Treads]

Very sorry to hear this :(

Look after yourself

[twitchy]

Such a big decision & not an easy choice. Mate our thoughts & wishes are with you & I only hope I can be lucky enough to spend that much time with my best friend!!!

[haggisbasher]

Thoughts are with you. :cry:

Chris

[Ausfree]

My thoughts are with you too, difficult times indeed!!!!:(

[isuzurover]

My deepest condolences.

[Scallops]

I wish you all the best, Robert - I hope the many friends you (and Betty) have here will continue to provide you with comfort. You are surrounded by friends and we are all here for you.

[brianwood]

I just read this thread. Here I am at work bawling my eyes out in my office.
My thoughts are with you Oldbod. Take care. Such a terrible loss...

[BMKal]

Sincere condolences Robert.

I'm sure that you have many memories of a long and happy life together. One day at a time, and look after yourself.

Brian

[dullbird]

Sorry to hear of your loss:(

Take care of yourself Robert I can only imagine what you must of gone through.