I just went outside and my ****ing Defender was gone.

[Shonky]

Went out to go to the letterbox and the space where I parked the Deefer this afternoon was empty! :BigCry:

I got wobbly at the knees, had a mild heart attack and stood on my porch in shock for a moment...






...until out of the corner of my eye, I saw something move behind the trees on the neighbours verge. :eek:

I rubbed my eyes and looked closely.

It moved again.

It was big.

It was white.

It was shaped suspiciously like a Defender.



I took off across the front lawn towards our slopey street - as I jumped off the gutter and took off down the road I could see my pride and joy hugging the gutter, slowly lurching foward - a few millimeters at a time. It dawned on me what had happened...

When I parked this arvo, I must have forgotten to put the handbrake on. I always park on the street pointing downhill, and I usually start off in second gear. Which is evidently what I had parked it in.

As I was watching TV and eating dinner, gravity and compression were fighting an epic battle not 10 meters away. Evidently unable to overpower each other, the two forces had fallen into an alternating rythm... With each stroke, the bloody thing had crept a little further down the street!

It just so happened that at that point I recieved an SMS from a fellow AULRO member, asking if they could pick up an item they had loaned me. "No worries" says I. "I'll leave it in the letterbox!"


So here I am, running down the road in my boxer shorts, a bag cotaining Mark's throttle linkages in one hand, keys in the other, chasing a Defender that has taken itself for a walk and was now, inch by inch, closing the last few metres to my neighbours new Mazda 6. :eek2:

Ever tried finding the door key for a Deefer, on a keyring full of keys, in the dark, in your underpants, as your 1 week old car moves in slow motion to mate with a Mazda?

:o

I found it eventually... 2 metres and closing... and threw myself headlong into the footwell and ramming every available body part onto the brake.

Crisis averted.





Yes, I put the handbrake on. Yes, it is in gear. Yes, there is now a brick under every wheel. :eek:

Excuse me now while I change my dacks. :(

[jerryd]

:eek: You were lucky, it's a good idea to point your front wheels into the kerb when parking on a slope ;)

[MickS]

Well done.

My '69 Valiant did that, except it was parked at the top of my driveway and rolled down. Fortunately when I had parked it, the front wheels were turned to the right, so it missed the house. However, it took out a garden, colourbond fence, children's play swing set (which was childless at the time) before it came to rest with a liquid amber branch through the radiator. Happy to report, other than the radiator, no other damage to the Val ...

[LandyAndy]

Mate,I just had a good laugh reading the post.
If both the handbrake and it was in gear,it would seem there is serious issues with both the motor AND transmission.
MAYBE it was in neutral and no handbrake:twisted::twisted::twisted::twisted:
Andrew

[Hall]

First up. Grouse all ended well. That A the Defender was not stolen and B there won`t be any cross breeding with Mazda`s. Can`t have any diluting of the rover gene pool. Reads like a script from a AMMI ad :D You`l have to park it reverse gear,that will stop it`s mating habits or get it `fixed' :)
Cheers Hall

[isuzutoo-eh]

Crap! Averted an epic tragedy there!

[abaddonxi]

Well that'll teach you to leave locked.;)

Glad there wasn't more damage.

[REL]

Whilst no doubt, not funny at the time, but...........................:Rolling:

We had a similar incident, but with my fathers ford. We live on 32 acres, I get a phone call at work that someone has stolen my fathers car, and rolled it down the hill on our property, where it was now firmly wedge between a couple of saplings in the winter creek :o Kids and Dad are too scared to go down to the car, in case the perpetrator is still in car. So I make the long trip home (its amazing how many things go through the brain on a 45min rush trip home :)) and venture down fully thinking I'll get down to said car and pulled the bastard out. Low and behold car was empty and hand brake was off. :cool: Now I'm upset that I didn't get to see the car go down the hill - it would have been airborne at some stage :eek:;)

So if Defer had meet Mazda, does that mean you would have had a Mafer or would it be a Defda??? :twisted:

[big guy]

Bloody funny.

I had a mental picture of it and now can't shake it.

Must have been the boxers.
Glad its all good.:p

[isuzutoo-eh]

I'd say you should park something sacrificial like a red rangie in the way next time...buuut....i'm about to go outside and brick its' wheels now:eek:

[clean32]

had to go out and check the county. still there hand brake is on

[Disco_owner]

:Rolling:Shonkster , that is a funny story.

[stig0000]

i larft but i did the same with my car, but i watched it roll down my driveway:(:( as i walked away i herd a weird grinding noise, tern around and i see my car rolling down the hill,

thank god for a hedge of lily pillys and there nice and soft,:D:D tho there is now a defender shaped hole in the hedge:wasntme:

[isuzutoo-eh]

Park it in low range? Will confuse any thief, be they gravity or human

[Disco_owner]

who'd wana steal a 300tdi defender:o I mean , come'on it's not as if they're going to take it for a joy ride:wasntme:

[Shonky]

To all those laughing...

























...It's okay. After I had de-poo'd my duds I had a hell of a chuckle too. :D

[MickS]

To all those laughing...

























...It's okay. After I had de-poo'd my duds I had a hell of a chuckle too. :D

Hang them on the clothes line and spray them with a hose...worked a treat on cloth nappies back in the day :D

[isuzutoo-eh]

Now that you've stopped the 'love thy neighbour' bit happening, I hope you don't walk in on it Mazdabating

[Grockle]

you were very lucky mate,:o bet that handbreak will be on now ;)

[HBWC]

onya shonks

[V8Ian]

I'd've handed over folding stuff to see that Shonks, any chance of a replay? :p Glad it ended without cost to you mate. :D

[Basil135]

Naa, didn't happen...


NO PICS... (thankfully):eek:






:D

[Landy Smurf]

indeed change the dacks i would throw them out if i was you

[Blknight.aus]

it probably just doesnt like the cold and was trying to come home....

[Pedro_The_Swift]

well, that answers that question!!;)

[Hucksta]

I found your story very gripping ...... I was inching closer to the edge of my seat ... ha ha ha ... it would have been very funny to see .....

[The ho har's]

:Rolling::Rolling::Rolling:

I can just see you running down the road yelling NNOOOOO :D

Mrs hh:angel:

[V8Ian]

:Rolling::Rolling::Rolling:

I can just see you running down the road yelling NNOOOOO :D

Mrs hh:angel:
Or "Deheathcliffe, Deheathcliffe.":p

[BMKal]

Well at least a LR handbrake, if applied, is capable of stopping these unfortunate mishaps. ;)

A while back I was working up at Yandi and left my 100 Series parked outside an office on what I thought was flat ground at the top of a bit of a slope, engine running with the air-con on full blast (was about 50 degrees as usual) and nipped inside to pick up, of all people, a visiting safety consultant.

When we walked out of the office, saw the cruiser travelling down the hill at an increasing rate of knots. At first thought that someone had "borrowed" it as was often the case, but soon realised that there was nobody in it.

It ploughed through a cage full of (thankfully empty) oxy bottles in a lay-down area scattering them everywhere before coming to rest. Only damage was to pride, and the cage that contained the bottles, and a couple of minor bumps in the bullbar.

Being a BHP site, you can probably imagine the yelling and screaming and the inquisition that followed. Vehicle was inspected, found to have handbrake properly applied, and handbake in good condition and properly adjusted. Fortunately this happened before they had brought in the law about leaving a vehicle with the engine running. I don't know about BHP, but was recently working on Rio Tinto sites where it is now a sackable offence to get out of the driver's seat of any vehicle while the engine is still running (if it has a turbo timer, you must wait for it to time out and shut down). I assume that BHP sites would now have the same rule.

That was the last time that I have EVER relied on the handbrake in any Toyota (and I've had a few since then). Those pathetic mini drum brakes inside the rear discs are nothing more than a joke.

My Rangie and both Disco's on the other hand - have all had handbrakes that would stall a D9 - as long as you remember to apply them. :p

Good to hear nothing serious came of it Shonky. :o

[DiscoStew]

Please tell us that you were wearing knee-high ugg boots at the time. :eek:

[ramblingboy42]

hark? do I hear a poem coming on here? digger?

[MickS]

hark? do I hear a poem coming on here? digger?

It was a cold night..."Blue Moon" might be an appropriate song.... :D

[Chops]

Top stuff Shonky,,:cool:

[digger]

hark? do I hear a poem coming on here? digger?

I have no idea what you mean....


but if I did it would be something like this?? (needs work!)

My driveways full of Land rover,
Theres olive drab, deep green and white
I often sneak to look them over
And hug them all hours day and night,

I have that many at my place
I struggle without a shunt
So to help with the parking space
I park one out the front.

I put my defender out there late last night
(it makes the neighbours jealous with their mere Ford or Holden!)
Then, when sneaking out to pet it in the dark I got a horrible fright
My blood ran cold and “gluggy”-My defender has been STOLEN!:confused::confused:

I think I know who stole my car, I broke into a sweat
I know who stole my defender, he always made the threat!
I had a parcel in my hand if it were a gun I’d pull the trigger
And shoot the mongrel I know who stole my car- It’s that bastard Digger!

I stood in my Wiggles Boxer shorts (its all that I had worn)
My uggies with the rain were swelling
(and thats all that was- I should have worn something warm!)
And in boxers the cold was quite....shrinking..&... telling!

I quickly looked uphill- but Digger sightings I did lack
I looked downhill- but what did I spy, the big white defender back!
What? It should be right up here? parked & safely sleeping
But down there it is...and oh no! –It’s still moving slowly, sort of creeping!

The bastard Diggers in my car and off I am now running!
I'll catch him, beat him, drag him bleeding from my car
I’ll teach him to stop being cunning!
I ran down the street after my beloved defender, it seemed to be so far

I got there, (he must be laying down, inside I cannot see him),
As he slowly creeps my car downhill, his “problem” I will fix!
I look to where it’s moving slowly- and it chills my every limb!
Parked just there in front of it -My neighbours brand new Mazda 6 :o

I got wobbly at the knees,
had a mild heart attack and cursed fate
“Don’t let my defender hit that please”
It will scratch the new front number plate!


I fumbled with my many keys
The jingling made much noise
“Let me open the door and stop him please”
(and now I can hear the neighbours boys!)


I unlocked the door- I flung it wide
And in horror I did see
No one,..... no one at all inside
Where could that Digger be?:eek:

I dove across the drivers floor, I flew like a gazelle,
I reached and pulled with all my might
I dragged the handbrake on and fell
As the defender stopped, held tight.

I screamed, “I’ll find you Digger?” I cursed loudly in the night
I searched throughout my shiny 110
And then I realised with a terrible fright
I wouldn’t find Digger -He wasn’t near me then..

I knew now he didn’t sneak over the border
This event was all caused by me (for god’s sake!):mad:
Not putting things in order
In reverse and obviously not applying the handbrake!

Two metres is all the gap
Left between my wagon and the mazda 6
And checking my defender (of it I did a lap)
I heard the sound of clicks?

What is that noise, where is it from?
Oh no The neighbours taking digital video!
I must look cool, I must stay strong:cool:
As I race to my house and under the patio!

So really officer this is why
In the street I was running almost bare:nazilock:
Its all so much I want to cry
That I was spotted out there!

I’ve had to throw away my boxer shorts
The big red car at the back was “stained”:o
I’m getting lots of smart retorts
Yep, by these events I am really pained

But I won’t let this one mistake
My attention and vigilance take
For I know that one dark starless night, as Mrs Shonk and I lie sleeping
That bastard Digger will arrive, after my Landys he’ll come creeping:twisted::twisted:


but no, I dont think Ill do a poem....

[Ausfree]

Hey Digger, that was great, we should make you the Forum poet!!!:D

[robbotd5]

Mate, my missus parked her car at the "top" of our driveway and has maintained to this day that she (quote) "pulled the hadbrake on and put it in park" but still it ended up resting on the brick pillar between the two garage's. When I checked the car post incident, it was in neutral......but that's another issue.... It ran on a steep slope to hit the bricks only to put a score mark in the bumper and a chunck out of the bricks!!!!. I was more worried about the house than the car, The said car is a "98 Volvo V40T SE. Battered and bruised. She said " I don't know how that happened"!!!
Regards
Robbo.

[Mudsloth]

Something similar happened to me too! I looked out my front window one day to see the spot where i usually park my 76 F100 empty. Confusion set in big time because it takes a bit to start the old girl and being a 351 it was bloody loud, window shaking loud. Headed outside looked right, no car, looked left and there she was. It had rolled about 30 meters, crossed a busy intersection and come to rest against a tree, less than 30cms from a brand new VW. Since that day I have been vigilant with adjusting handbrakes and I will never again trust a Ford transmission to stay in park. You're amongst friends brother! Your story cracked me up too.....

[flagg]

:Rolling:

Glad your new pride and joy is OK Shonky :)

When I was a teenager, similar thing happened to me.. but I was in the car with my then girlfriend at the time. Both rather distracted.. I think it was her leg that knocked the handbrake off.. :angel:


took me a while to notice, and when I did we stopped 30cm from a tree.. ;)

[Shonky]

When I was a teenager, similar thing happened to me.. but I was in the car with my then girlfriend at the time. Both rather distracted.. I think it was her leg that knocked the handbrake off.. :angel:


took me a while to notice, and when I did we stopped 30cm from a tree.. ;)

My old blue Faimont may or may not have received a nasty set of scrapes from idling into a roller door while the missus and I got... distracted. :angel:

[The ho har's]

:Rolling:

When I was a teenager, similar thing happened to me.. but I was in the car with my then girlfriend at the time. Both rather distracted.. I think it was her leg that knocked the handbrake off.. :angel:


took me a while to notice, and when I did we stopped 30cm from a tree.. ;)


My old blue Faimont may or may not have received a nasty set of scrapes from idling into a roller door while the missus and I got... distracted. :angel:

ahem please remember this is a family forum:p:D guys:wasntme:


Mrs hh:angel:

[d2dave]

My son had his car stolen about six weeks ago.:( When I read the title for this thread, and whilst waiting for it to open, I had the same sinking feeling in my guts that I had six weeks ago.

Although I don't know you personally it was a great relief when I read all was well. I ****ed myself laughing:Rolling: at the end and I even got SWMBO'd to read it and she had a laugh as well:lol2:

Dave.

[discodancer]

Shonky, What a Hoot!
You paint a great picture of this slow-motion, Keystone Cops style car chase.Ha!

In a similar vein....and without hijacking your thread.....take yourself back to the early 1950's, Melbourne suburbs... when not every household owned a car and when they did it was ALWAYS garaged on the property ...except for Sunday drives.
My old man still had his 1929 Chevrolet tourer (prior to upgrading to a spanking new FJ Holden) The Chev and other similar-era cars had a floor lever handbrake operating as an external band clamping a drum on the driveshaft at the gearbox output..Sound familiar? (Despite the electronics..my Disco has not advanced that far.)

We lived half way up an incline in a curved street. The old man parked the car out front, applied the handbrake and nicked inside to collect something. On his return the car had gone..just like yours.

His major error was to have left this little black duck (aged about 6) in the front seat. I was a forward thinking lad and I had heard about the future of 4WD & landrovers from the Mother-Country etc and decided to practice the "hill-descent, reverse stall-start"...and released the handbrake lever...but I couldn't reach any other pedals.

The panicked parents apparently also caught the car as it landed back wheels against the gutter... down the street on the opposite side.
No parked cars ....and the Bakers Horse and cart was running late..so no damage.

I can only recall tiny bits of the "relief and fury" ..but the image often resurfaces in steep terrain. ( in the 1960/70's driving (military) Series LR's and later in the early 80's when I bought my RR Classic, then County, now Discovery)

Cheers
Bob

[DiscoStew]

ahem please remember this is a family forum:p:D guys:wasntme:


Mrs hh:angel:

But that's what they were doing, practising at starting a family.;)

[digger]

Hey Digger, that was great, we should make you the Forum poet!!!:D

definately NOT thankyou!

[Shonky]

His major error was to have left this little black duck (aged about 6) in the front seat. I was a forward thinking lad and I had heard about the future of 4WD & landrovers from the Mother-Country etc and decided to practice the "hill-descent, reverse stall-start"...and released the handbrake lever...but I couldn't reach any other pedals.

Our neighbours at a former home had a nice surprise through their front (brick) fence one evening...

The kid across the road (from them) had found his way into his dad's work van, which was parked at the top of their driveway and let the handbrake off... The van went down the (steep) drive, across the road and straight through the wall!

The little tacker thought it was a hoot and wanted to do it again... :eek:

[LandyAndy]

Hi Shonky
Being a Series owner I thought you would have watched the Series Training Manual by now(the original "Gods Must Be Crazy")
Just because its a modern series dont expect it to behave as a Discovery or Range Rover would:p:p:p:p:p
Our new TD5 "Modern Series" has a turbo timer.I believe its only a matter of time till I get to repeat your post after ours goes AWOL.
Andrew