Are you running Mountain Lion or an earlier OS X?
There was a connection issue in iTunes a version or two back that was very annoying. You had to turn off home sharing on iTunes then re-enable it. Update fixed it. I haven't looked if this was also for OS X pre-ML though.
I'm running:
OS X 10.8.2
iTunes 11.0.1(12)
AppleTV-2 5.1.1


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