'...And in other news, a Queensland man has successfully crashed the WiFi network of the state's McDonalds restaurants. The man, known only as 'Pedro' claimed to have downloaded the new Wolfenstein game while on a XXXX bender. Local police were called after the man attempted to ignite a big Mac laced with ammonium nitrate underneath his car, loudly proclaiming 'the end of The Prince Of Darkness's Land Rover is nigh'. Store manages then noticed the overload of the network and the man was taken back to the local station for questioning. Weather in half an hour.'
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