Thread: Blessed Are The Cheesemakers

Thats OK,

my husband, by the way is a fantastic fella, just thought I'd add that
and I,,... I mean he, is really really great for letting me post under my....errr his name!

Have one of these rolls with a good cheese...you won't regret it...

http://www.pastillanash.com/log.html

Originally Posted by digger

Thats OK,

my husband, by the way is a fantastic fella, just thought I'd add that
and he is really really great for letting me post under my....errr his name!

Hmmmm......thinking....

After that post, I'm tipping you don't get into fish nets and short skirts that often.... or do you?

Originally Posted by MickS

Have one of these rolls with a good cheese...you won't regret it...

Pastilla Nash - Prune and walnut log

Prunes and wallnuts, Mmmmmmmmm...........

I probably shouldn't do this but.......
Cheese Shop

Mousebender:
(John) Good Morning. Wensleydale:
(Michael) Good morning, sir. Welcome to the National Cheese Emporium! Mousebender: Ah, thank you, my good man. Wensleydale: What can I do for you, sir? Mousebender: Well, I was, uh, sitting in the public library on Thurmon Street just now, skimming through "Rogue Herrys" by Hugh Walpole, and I suddenly came over all peckish. Wensleydale: Peckish, sir? Mousebender: Esuriant. Wensleydale: Eh? Mousebender: 'Ee, Ah wor 'ungry-loike! Wensleydale: Ah, hungry! Mousebender: In a nutshell. And I thought to myself, "a little fermented curd will do the trick," so, I curtailed my Walpoling activites, sallied forth, and infiltrated your place of purveyance to negotiate the vending of some cheesy comestibles! Wensleydale: Come again? Mousebender: I want to buy some cheese. Wensleydale: Oh, I thought you were complaining about the bazouki player! Mousebender: Oh, heaven forbid: I am one who delights in all manifestations of the Terpsichorean muse! Wensleydale: Sorry? Mousebender: 'Ooo, Ah lahk a nice tuune, 'yer forced too! Wensleydale: So he can go on playing, can he? Mousebender: Most certainly! Now then, some cheese please, my good man. Wensleydale: (lustily) Certainly, sir. What would you like? Mousebender: Well, eh, how about a little Red Leicester. Wensleydale: I'm, a-fraid we're fresh out of Red Leicester, sir. Mousebender: Oh, never mind, how are you on Tilsit? Wensleydale: I'm afraid we never have that at the end of the week, sir, we get it fresh on Monday. Mousebender: Tish tish. No matter. Well, stout yeoman, four ounces of Caerphilly, if you please. Wensleydale: Ah! It's beeeen on order, sir, for two weeks. Was expecting it this morning. Mousebender: 'T's Not my lucky day, is it? Aah, Bel Paese? Wensleydale: Sorry, sir. Mousebender: Red Windsor? Wensleydale: Normally, sir, yes. Today the van broke down. Mousebender: Ah. Stilton? Wensleydale: Sorry. Mousebender: Ementhal? Gruyere? Wensleydale: No. Mousebender: Any Norweigan Jarlsburg, per chance. Wensleydale: No. Mousebender: Liptauer? Wensleydale: No. Mousebender: Lancashire? Wensleydale: No. Mousebender: White Stilton? Wensleydale: No. Mousebender: Danish Blue? Wensleydale: No. Mousebender: Double Gloucester? Wensleydale: (pause) No. Mousebender: Cheshire? Wensleydale: No. Mousebender: Dorset Blue Vinney? Wensleydale: No. Mousebender: Brie, Rocquefort, Pont-l'Évêgue le Veq, Port Salut, Savoyard, Saint-Paulin, Carre-de-L'Ést, Bresse Bleue, Bruson? Wensleydale: No. Mousebender: Camenbert, perhaps? Wensleydale: Ah! We have Camenbert, yessir. Mousebender: (suprised) You do! Excellent. Wensleydale: Yessir. It's..ah,.....it's a bit runny... Mousebender: Oh, I like it runny. Wensleydale: Well,.. It's very runny, actually, sir. Mousebender: No matter. Fetch hither the fromage de la Belle France! Mmmwah! Wensleydale: I...think it's a bit runnier than you'll like it, sir. Mousebender: I don't care how ****ing runny it is. Hand it over with all speed. Wensleydale: Oooooooooohhh........! (pause) Mousebender: What now? Wensleydale: The cat's eaten it. Mousebender: (pause) Has he. Wensleydale: She, sir. (pause) Mousebender: Gouda? Wensleydale: No. Mousebender: Edam? Wensleydale: No. Mousebender: Caithness? Wensleydale: No. Mousebender: Smoked Austrian? Wensleydale: No. Mousebender: Japanese Sage Derby? Wensleydale: No, sir. Mousebender: You...do have some cheese, don't you? Wensleydale: (brightly) Of course, sir. It's a cheese shop, sir. We've got-- Mousebender: No no... don't tell me. I'm keen to guess. Wensleydale: Fair enough. Mousebender: Uuuuuh, Wensleydale. Wensleydale: Yes? Mousebender: Ah, well, I'll have some of that! Wensleydale: Oh! I thought you were talking to me, sir. Mister Wensleydale, that's my name. (pause) Mousebender: Greek Feta? Wensleydale: Uh, not as such. Mousebender: Uuh, Gorgonzola? Wensleydale: No Mousebender: Parmesan? Wensleydale: No Mousebender: Mozzarella? Wensleydale: No Mousebender: Pippo Crème? Wensleydale: No Mousebender: Danish Fynbo? Wensleydale: No Mousebender: Czech sheep's milk? Wensleydale: No Mousebender: Venezuelan Beaver Cheese? Wensleydale: Not today, sir, no. (pause) Mousebender: Aah, how about Cheddar? Wensleydale: Well, we don't get much call for it around here, sir. Mousebender: Not much ca--It's the single most popular cheese in the world! Wensleydale: Not 'round here, sir. Mousebender: (slight pause) and what IS the most popular cheese 'round hyah? Wensleydale: Ilchester, sir. Mousebender: IS it. Wensleydale: Oh, yes, it's staggeringly popular in this manor, squire. Mousebender: Is it. Wensleydale: It's our number one best seller, sir! Mousebender: I see. Uuh...Ilchester, eh? Wensleydale: Right, sir. Mousebender: All right. Okay. 'Have you got any?' he asked, expecting the answer 'no'. Wensleydale: I'll have a look, sir... nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnno. Mousebender: It's not much of a cheese shop, is it? Wensleydale: Finest in the district, sir! Mousebender: Explain the logic underlying that conclusion, please. Wensleydale: Well, it's so clean, sir! Mousebender: It's certainly uncontaminated by cheese.... Wensleydale: (brightly) You haven't asked me about Limburger, sir. Mousebender: Would it be worth it? Wensleydale: Could be.... Mousebender: Have you --SHUT THAT BLOODY BAZOUKI UP! Wensleydale: Told you, sir.... Mousebender: (slowly) Have you got any Limburger? Wensleydale: No. Mousebender: Figures. Predictable, really I suppose. It was an act of purest optimism to have posed the question in the first place. Tell me: Wensleydale: Yessir? Mousebender: (deliberately) Have you in fact got any cheese here at all. Wensleydale: Yes,sir. Mousebender: Really? (pause) Wensleydale: No. Not really, sir. Mousebender: You haven't. Wensleydale: Nosir. Not a scrap. I was deliberately wasting your time,sir. Mousebender: Well I'm sorry, but I'm going to have to shoot you. Wensleydale: Right-0, sir. (Mousebender pulls out a gun and shoots Wensleydale)

[nomedia="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B3KBuQHHKx0"]YouTube- The Cheese Shop sketch, Monty Python[/nomedia]

Geez Pirasea.
Did you start typing that when this thread started?

A couple of christmas' ago, my sister gave me a book "Monty Python - Just the Words" A great reference document.

Originally Posted by Hymie

My mate Bushy used to be the National sales manager for Jindi Cheese.
We got so sick of eating Brie and Camembert we used to put the stuff in clay target throwers and use it for target practice when disposing of stuff past it's best by date.

Mr Bush certainly wouldn't do such a thing

Hope his explosions go well with the briquette dust he got me to chase down for him