Thread: dreamer or funny ads (ebay etc)

Tell him he's dreaming.

Dude, what's he on????

I want some!!!!!

Maybe mummy forgot to hand him his brain as he went out the door??

Originally Posted by digger

......lets see price is good,well maybe high but its been loved and cared for....

Find Cheap Used & Second Hand Cars For Sale | Adelaide | Gumtree Classifieds

I think the advert is fine, he just got carried away with the number of zeroes in the price.

There's about 3 zeroes too many...

I liked the:

"im a P plater so i have looked after the car really well and i DO NOT THRASH it much..."

Yea, right!


.

LOL, love the spelling and grammar.

Also love how he says there is a bit of tread left on the tyres as he does skids, but then in the next paragraph he says he doesnt thrash it much.

Originally Posted by miky

I liked the:

"im a P plater so i have looked after the car really well and i DO NOT THRASH it much..."

Yea, right!


.

if you hurry milky, it's still available!

THE PHOTOS WITH THIS WERE STOCK EXPRESS VAN BUT WITH BLACKED OUT BACK WINDOWS!




FULLY SICK, STREET LEGAL Mitsubishi Express 1992 LWB
Item condition: Used

Ended 01 Nov, 201012:40:34 AEDST


Starting bid: AU $1,000.00 [ 0 bids ]

Item location: Toowoomba, Queensland, Australia
Posts to: Australia


Seller information
Member id austinn2005 ( Feedback Score Of 93)
100% Positive feedback

Seller assumes all responsibility for this listing.Item number: 230542966486Last updated on 12:34:23 AEDST, 01 Nov, 2010 View all revisions
Item specifics - Automobiles

Condition: Used: An item that has been used previously. See the seller’s listing for full details and description of any imperfections. See all condition definitions- opens in a new window or tab... Read more about the condition

Manufacturer: Mitsubishi
Registration Number (if currently registered): 474 KLI
Model: Express
Engine Size: 2.4 litre Type: Van
For Sale by: Private Seller
Ask seller a question Doors: 5
VIN (Vehicle Identification Number): -- Date of Manufacture: 1992
Type of Title: Clear (most titles) Date of 1st Registration: --
Engine Number: -- Colour: White
Registration Information: Mar 2011 Metallic Paint: --
Factory/Aftermarket Warranty: -- Right-Hand, Left-Hand Drive: Right-Hand Drive
Transmission: Automatic Number of Previous Owners: --
Fuel: Petrol Kilometres: 266000
Previously Registered Overseas: -- Options: Tow Bar
Safety Features: --


“Lock up your daughters” will be the cry when you are rollin through your hood in your Super Fly, Street legal 92 Express, cause the ladies can't resist a man in a sweet Long Wheel Base ride.



This vehicle was the back up car for the Delorian in "Back to the future" (Flux capacitor removed for safety and intermittent time travel issues....we once got stuck in the 80's for a few days...or was it Adeleaide...either way we were happy to be home) and for the Camaro "Bumble Bee" in Transformers (the Robot Mode has been turned back to factory default to prevent inadvertant transforming at the traffic lights when you stop next to a prius and all bumble bee wants to do is to monkey stomp it, and for back up required during street fights....goes without saying)



More gangtsa than The Saprano’s

More Pimp’n than Snoop dogg

More secret compartments than Colombian airplane



Still not convinced…..



Cop engine

Cop tyres

Cop chip

Cop steering wheel

Cop seat

Cop glove box



Does the quarter in flat 30's.....for real



For those romantics out there! The ladies love the blackened windows for some privacy and flat super soft plush marine carpet in the back or, for the entrepreneur….. if you need to move some merchandise around without “the man” F@$$ing your SH#% up....



Just like that drunk chick at the party…you can put any amount of your junk in the rear end of this…. Without the cursin’ and cryin’….just in and out , no questions asked!



But you still want more.....



“Almost surround sound” (Trademark) car stereo with not only the ability to switch from AM and FM but comes complete with the Compact Disc (CD) technology



Optioned with: Tow bar, Bull Bar, Cargo Bar, Mars Bar



Reg Mar 2011, to get you through your first summer of absolute awesomeness-ness.



Regretful sale, but since I’ve been married my wife dosen’t like me driving by myself for all the attention from all the classy ladies that I get, when I’m on my way to the dump.



DISCLAIMER (This car has no affiliation with any movies what so ever, there are no police products on this vehicle and secret compartments maybe either too secret to find or non existent. The “tin can” acoustic properties of the van provide the concert style “Almost surround sound” TM. Snoop dogg or the saprano’s have not endorsed this vehicle, Mars Bar not included)



This Auction may be removed/stopped at anytime as vehicle is advertised elsewhere

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On 29-Oct-10 at 08:43:36 AEDST, seller added the following information:


Question & Answer
Answered On



Q:
ya bro full sick bit of gear ya got there you think if i purchased it you could throw in a set of spinner hub caps and a cannon exhaust along with a set of fluffy dice and a tube of hair gel so i can fit in with the pimped out rig lovin the add need more of them like this
28-Oct-10

A:
Waddup T-roy, Spinners are so 2007...so no. Why would i waste my time with a cannon exhaust when the stock 1 inch racing pipes give it a sweet note, and the compression required to have the power to pass, and or blow the doors off a Suzuki Carry at the lights. Quality fluffy dice are a very personal choice, like a chick and her wedding dress, like a bloke and his trakky dacks, like that thing in that movie when you go...like Oh my god i can't beleive it went that way, but it makes sense and there was a perfect but personal choice that everyone understood....like that...i think it had Meg Ryan in it or was one of those romantic comedies like "Once were Warriors"..... anyway you see where i was going with that. Stay Pimpin.




Q:
YOUR BLOODY AWESOME - LOVED THE ADD FELL OFF MY CHAIR LAUGHING.
28-Oct-10

A:
YES!!!!.....YES I am..........and modest, so i've been told. Hope you're ok after the fall.




Q:
I'm very interested in your Fully Sick van however I would like some clarification on one point. As I am a smoking hot chick who likes a bit of attention from the men folk, I was wondering if the van is capable of also attracting males? I wouldn't want to give all the ladiez the wrong idea.
28-Oct-10

A:
Hi Floozie, i just had a quick squizz in the owners manual and in the back had a sealed section...although i haven't tried it myself but if you reverse the polarity of the (pardon my french) "Pussy Magnet" you will turn the van into 2400CC Stud attactor, where...and I quote.."Now with the Stud Atractor fully charged for the lady who likes to take control of her own destiny, the long wheel base, Blackened windows and flat carpeted floor, you can entertain all your new found UNSHEATHED POUNDING to your hearts content"..end quote.. Either load em up in the back for later and drop them off as you tire of them or just grab one at a time and change at your own whim. Another nicety for the the lady driver is the Long Wheel Base ("LWB") and "Express" badging changes to "Lady Wantsa Bonin" and SEXPRESS respectively. The 92 Sexpress dosn't judge it it feels the love. Stay Ace and regards, Sweet ride owner operator




Q:
Hi. I'm currently driving a Commer van and a Mazda Bongo at weekends.These 2 babies are amazing chik pullers and i'd be loathe to give that up.Does the Express come with any chik-pulling guarantee ??
28-Oct-10

A:
Aaaah the commer and the bongo...the Falcon and Commodore of the van community, with regards to "leg opening ability" Nothing to be ashamed of they are both fine modest vehicles (unless the commer van has Slam doors all around ...then we have to talk). The 92 Express...the name says it all....Spell it backwards.. SSERPXE then we take out the 2nd S.. S ERPXE... then we take out the RP and the E off the end....whats it spell...thats right SEX. If that aint enough to convince anyone this PASSION RIG has more pulling power than Tiger woods on tour, then son, you don't deserve to bid on it.....even if you dream of bidding on this, you better contact me and apologise for a false bid...... coz if you aint convinced by the name sake, it would be like giving you soem Faberge` eggs and you asking for them to made into an omlette.... Stay Ace, Sex Express owner operator




Q:
In the dark, cobweb filled depths of my memory, I recall a top secret attempt by Mitsubishi to build a Bathurst-dominating super family mover that would leave Holden & Ford for dead. Millions were spent and in the end 4 (four) homologation specials were built. When "the big two" got wind of it the lawyers started a backroom slogging match. So ended the dream of a Mitsubishi Express Bathurst One-Two. My understanding is that three of the specials were put to the crusher but the crusher operator was so overcome by with emotion that he couldn't press the "crush" button on the fourth. It was spirited away by a dedicated group of enthusiasts never to be seen again. Is this that mystery people-moving Bathurst giant killer? (Disclaimer: recollections, memories & assertions may be unreliable)
27-Oct-10

A:
Yes Mr 70a9, you are correct, but if I put "bathurst special" in the title every clown would be hitting me up to come and take photos of it.....not to mention all the ladies that would want a peice of me and my sweet ride




Q:
lol ****ing myself!- actually quite funny reading your ad
27-Oct-10

A:
Excuuuuuuse me, but a fully sick tricked out ride is nothing to LOL about. as for your incontinence, just owning a 92 Express alone has been known to cure it...or there's plenty of room in the back to load up on DEPENDS for a long trip. All the best ****y pants.




Q:
Hey dood...What a fine piece of machinery. How many fat chicks can you fit in the back of that shagg'n wagon?? Hopefully it will bulk out before it will max out. I'm excited!!
26-Oct-10

A:
Its takes a Tonne...do your own math! the bulk out to max out ratio co-efficient however is a touch more complex, so i'll give you a hand with that one... firstly we have to take into consideration where the chix are obtained by differentiating the power series definition of eix (see Taylor series). Indeed, since this series converges absolutely for all complex numbers we can differentiate it term by term to obtain, Now we define the function, The derivative of ƒ(x) according to the product rule (note that the product rule can be proved to hold for complex valued functions of a real variable using precisely the same proof as in the real case) is: Therefore, ƒ(x) must be a constant function in x. Because ƒ(0) = 1 by inspection, ƒ(x) = 1, giving, Multiplying both sides by cos x + i sin x, we obtain Using differential equations that you can fit an average of 5 Biggens in the back prior to the max out is breached Hoped this helped




Q:
Dear Fully sick, do you have curtains fitted? Also are there any scratches (on the outside). thanks Dwaine
26-Oct-10

A:
Dwaine...is that even a real name? anyhoo... The rear side windows not only have wicked tint on them but for the complete voyeur, have been painted black... The ladies i pickup dig it, as it gets them accustomed to their day job in the peep booths....its a win win situation. as for the scratches on the outside...you obviously know nothing about time travel, as the common man on the street knows that when one does travel through time and cross the event horizon, one gets up a bit of speed to say the least, and when you pop out the other end you never know what you're going to find....have you ever hit a dodo bird at 88Mph???? ...also with that goes hand in hand with the Time Ectoplasm Residue (TER) which is left on the vehicle after a trip.. fairly gritty and you can't help fine scratches in the duco....i thought that that was obvious, but i guess its just me.




Q:
So let me get this straight......If I buy this car I will turn from dud to stud?
26-Oct-10

A:
Zero to Hero A bore to THOR, You are going to go broke if you by this sweet ride....BROKE from all the Frangers you will have to buy (unless you subscribe to the BareBack only club...thats how i roll anyway......)putting away all that sweet ass you will get thrown at you...like a rock star at an after party.




Q:
Hey dood, Sounds just what i'm after. Can you still get those Flux Capacitator thingys?? Couldn't think of anything worse getting stuck in the eightys and a van full of drunk fat chicks.
26-Oct-10

A:
Hey Tony, Flux Capacitors are as rare as a lebanese bloke without a cousin...so i can't help you there. There is a bloke in ipswich claiming to have a 1.21 Giga-watt generator...so there's a place to start anyway..i would do a couple of test time travels with a dog or a monky if you can get your hands on one... and don't trust lybians if you are going to deal with them for Plutonium....they'll rip you off. Try Ralphs Plutonium Emporium in Pt Pirie South australia, they're cheap and they deliver. The Van can take a metric tonne, so will cater for any fetishes....drunk or otherwise.... Happy Trails




Q:
I shot my bolt when I saw this van. Ever taken it off any sweet jumps? I'm looking for somewhere to put my dirtbike but still leave room for activities. If you know what I mean Would you consider 8 free martial arts lessons as part payment? I was thinking karate maybe. P.S What is your favourite dinosaur?
26-Oct-10

A:
Hey man, i get that alot from people about their bolts. As for any jumps....mate!! its a 92 Express they were made to jump.. i had to knock back the Crusty demons for their last tour coz i hit my head on the roof and tore my hammy last time i did a double heel clicker over the triples....landed sweet, but the hammy is still a bit twingey. Ever since i put the beds into bunks i got so much more room for activities in the back...so much more room. As for the martial arts lessons... i'm already an 8th dan jet black belt (better than normal black) jujitsu,taekwando,myagi do karate, Cobra Kai etc... basically i train jackie chan and Jet Li (hence the belt) for their gradings. Dinosaur...Velocaraptor










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On 31-Oct-10 at 19:25:03 AEDST, seller added the following information:


Q:
2 things mate is it actually for sale? service histroy? injected or carby? saprano's? check it out [ame="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0141842/"]The Sopranos (TV Series 1999–2007) - IMDb@@AMEPARAM@@http://ia.media-imdb.com/images/M/MV5BMTIxMjc4NTA2Nl5BMl5BanBnXkFtZTYwNTU2MzU5._V1._ SX87_SY140_.jpg@@AMEPARAM@@BMTIxMjc4NTA2Nl5BMl5Ban BnXkFtZTYwNTU2MzU5@@AMEPARAM@@SX87@@AMEPARAM@@SY14 0[/ame]

A:
MYSTRO...OMG..Yeah yeah...i got the Sopranos wrong blah blah blahblah...........if that's all you got then please, i'm quite sure theres a MAN-KINI for sale or some size 17 high heeled Sheep skins boots somewhere on EBAY...See item..220688392203..right up your alley, Please wash the sand out of you VAGINA before trawling through ebay... it saves us all the embaressment...Ps, My spell check is set to "from wherever the F#$K you are from" so those who are still struggling with the fact that they're walking erect....can still understand it when the cool kids talk about it around the water cooler..... HA ha, I used ERECT in a sentence.



Q:
WHY WEREN'T YOU LOT AROUND WHEN THE ELECTION WAS ON WE NEEDED A REAL PRIME-MINISTER AND SOME DOODS TO GIVE A HAND GREAT SHOW YOU LOT from the older generation BOB

A:
Snow!.... i do what i can...i'm only only one man...this awesomeness... It's my cross to bare... but, humbly i thank you.



Q:
Mate I've got $12.30 in cash in my ash tray. Would you consider taking this along with a half can of vintage Dr. Pepper(A 1993 batch, The best year for DR. Pepper in my opinon) and you pay postage to Zimbabwe? Also if you are interested I have a scratched Matchbox 20 album and a Venga Boys single if you are willing to part with some cash my way... Yours sincerely, Sanjif.

A:
I don't drink Dr Pepper pre... 81, so no!.. As for the venga boys Single, i think we can come to some sort of arrangement...i'll be in touch



Q:
Hey mate just wondering if your interested in swapping an Old work boot, 3 used tissue's and a mouth full of backwashed coke in a custom plastic cup????

A:
You do know this is a sweet 92 Express we're auctioning.... why do i have to put up with this on a legitimate auction... mate!! see previous posts...........Wooooah, did you say "custom" cup... we need to talk... call me on 1800"luvs a a cup" does it come with 2 girls......



Q:
It was january 4th, 1983, Hindley St Adelaide. My beloved Faruka and I sat at a kerbside table at cafe Beegars. As a van much like this one passed us by my Faruka leapt up, tried jumping it but more so crashed through the barrier separating cafe and street, and raced after the van with the grace of a 140kg gazelle wearing tight spandex pants. I'd seen her chase down the ice cream van before but not like this. I had no idea Faruka could move so fast. Before I knew what was happening the brake lights came on, the rear doors swung open and Faruka slid inside on her belly. My first thought was "wow, that's some impressive rear suspension...." but i was in horror as the doors swung shut and the van drove off. I never saw my Faruka again. But now...could it be? Do you have my Faruka? oh please god, please....

A:
Kenneth...we know its you...please stop calling. she left you in the 80's....we're happy now. I can totally understand why you're still trying to chase her down, i'm mean..... I couldn't believe the first 5 golf balls she sucked through a garden hose, but i have a true appreciation now...if youknow what i mean. You'll be happy to now she's trimmed up from the Deuce and a Half..from when you knew her to a sweet Deuce and a quarter....oh yeah.... If you tell anyone about my time travellin'...i'll gut you, i'll gut you good. Say ace, Me



Q:
Hey dude, time u gave those mushrooms a break, u trippin 2 bad

A:
No.....no no no no............no. Drugs are bad...M'kay



Q:
Dude can't believe you dissed my like that. I offered you free karate lessons. I didn't know you were so skilled, chicks only want guys that have great skills. Can I come over and have a look this weekend. I could show you some illegal ninja moves from the government, like the ones I used to train Jason Bourne. Anyhoo I want to measure up the rear as I would be looking to tub. Last one I had hooked up alright but snatched in second, going to throw a set of Micky T's on the rear so I can put in the agony but not miss all the style. You gota learn to listen and let the power speak. Faster you go the more you see. See that...back there. Shake and bake bro. P.S velociraptor's rock. I'll bring over my knumb chucks and Bow Staff too.

A:
I don't "DIS" i educate....As for skills ...my previous posts and the fact i drive a sweet SEXPRESS...says enough. See that...back there....yeah that was my awesome catching up with me....its the whole "if you're travelling at the speed of light and turn your headlights on whats speed are our headlights travelling ....sort of thing" if you don't get it...its OK...i'm pretty awesome. i also like Triceratops.....3 Horns...whats not to like. Stay Ace, Me.



Q:
hi mate . usually the jews get around in these, is this one bullit proof or an ex kebab stand ?

A:
Hi Rose, you must bee thinking of the 96 Express (when they all went to mud.....) The sheer awesomeness of the 92 Express is enough to deflect bullets.....and just make people give you Kebabs....win..win





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On 01-Nov-10 at 00:44:42 AEDST, seller added the following information:


Q: Dude, if I bid an extra $500 on top of my actual bidding price, can I get the Mars Bar? 01-Nov-10
A: No, but i could get you a Cherry ripe and a Hand Shandy



Q: How is the head? Any leaks? Is this the van that was stolen from the MAD MAX set, it was the extra in the first opening scene chase with the Toe Cutter? 01-Nov-10
A: Heads all right, had a big night at a Bucks party last night, as for leaks...naah, security's pretty tight, no one will blab about what happened with the strippers and stuff... althought the donkey show i wish i could UNSEE. Don't tell the producers coz they'll want there cut...b ut yeah...the one and the same.




--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
On 01-Nov-10 at 12:34:23 AEDST, seller added the following information:

SOLD SOLD SOLD SOLD SOLD



Questions and answers about this item
Q: Dude, if I bid an extra $500 on top of my actual bidding price, can I get the Mars Bar?
A: No, but i could get you a Cherry ripe and a Hand Shandy
01 Nov, 2010
Q: How is the head? Any leaks? Is this the van that was stolen from the MAD MAX set, it was the extra in the first opening scene chase with the Toe Cutter?
A: Heads all right, had a big night at a Bucks party last night, as for leaks...naah, security's pretty tight, no one will blab about what happened with the strippers and stuff... althought the donkey show i wish i could... Continue reading
01 Nov, 2010
Q: 2 things mate is it actually for sale? service histroy? injected or carby? saprano's? check it out [ame="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0141842/"]The Sopranos (TV Series 1999–2007) - IMDb@@AMEPARAM@@http://ia.media-imdb.com/images/M/MV5BMTIxMjc4NTA2Nl5BMl5BanBnXkFtZTYwNTU2MzU5._V1._ SX87_SY140_.jpg@@AMEPARAM@@BMTIxMjc4NTA2Nl5BMl5Ban BnXkFtZTYwNTU2MzU5@@AMEPARAM@@SX87@@AMEPARAM@@SY14 0[/ame]
A: MYSTRO...OMG..Yeah yeah...i got the Sopranos wrong blah blah blahblah...........if that's all you got then please, i'm quite sure theres a MAN-KINI for sale or some size 17 high heeled Sheep skins boots somewhere on... Continue reading
31 Oct, 2010
Q: WHY WEREN'T YOU LOT AROUND WHEN THE ELECTION WAS ON WE NEEDED A REAL PRIME-MINISTER AND SOME DOODS TO GIVE A HAND GREAT SHOW YOU LOT from the older generation BOB
A: Snow!.... i do what i can...i'm only only one man...this awesomeness... It's my cross to bare... but, humbly i thank you.
31 Oct, 2010
Q: Mate I've got $12.30 in cash in my ash tray. Would you consider taking this along with a half can of vintage Dr. Pepper(A 1993 batch, The best year for DR. Pepper in my opinon) and you pay postage to Zimbabwe? Also if you... Continue reading
A: I don't drink Dr Pepper pre... 81, so no!.. As for the venga boys Single, i think we can come to some sort of arrangement...i'll be in touch
31 Oct, 2010

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I saw in the new unique cars a 74 rover p6b in the throttle shop add.....$14,999,00 don't know whether to laugh or fix mine......