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Thread: Couple aborts twin boys - want girl

  1. #1
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    Couple aborts twin boys - want girl

    I don't know what others think, but it has come out that a couple are now going to VCAT in an effort to be able to choose the sex of their next child via IVF.

    This couple already have 3 boys and want a girl.

    But here is the kicker.... they recently aborted a pregnancy of TWIN BOYS because they didn't want another boy. They want a girl.

    I'm NOT anti abortion, a girlfriend many years ago had one when we were way too young and immature to handle a child. It was a hard decision then but I look back and still believe it was the right one.

    Now I guess I'm lucky, we (different partner)have one of each now (both adults now) but hey, had the second been a girl as well, it would have made no difference to us at all... we'd have loved them the same as we do now.

    What do others think?
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  2. #2
    Roulston Guest

    Three are enough

    People should not be sucking up our medical resources for reasons of ego or simple wants.

    IVF should be for those that have real conception problems only and not for egocentric reasons or for personal gratification.

    As far as the abortion goes, I have no opinion other than using it as a means of sex determination is wrong, but it is the her body, as long as it was her choice and not his she can cut out or off whatever she likes.

    But even if they are paying the IVF bills themselves, they reduce the capacity of the "trade" to serve those in true need. But if the tax payer is subsidizing it, then that is just wrong use of tax payer money.

    Though, I think if you have problems with conception, nature it trying to tell you something. I know that will sound terrible to a lot of people, particularly those conceive by IVF or parents of them, but we are increasingly living in a society of instant gratification and a belief of ones entitlement to everything, including the joy of parenthood. But being one, it is easy for me to say and not my place to criticize.

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  3. #3
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    To be honest...(and thinking this topic should probably be on the soapbox)
    If they want a girl. and only a girl. They could adopt. There are plenty of little girls out there who would love to be loved.
    There are hundreds upon thousands of couples who would kill to be pregnant, singleton or otherwise and this just feels like taking advantage of a system intended for those who need help...

    I am pro-choice - but to choose to get pregnant and then just change your mind because there is a convenient way out doesn't sit well with me.

    Not to mention if they were pregnant with twin boys...they must have either had invasive testing to know the twins were boys or were very far along in their pregnancy...

  4. #4
    El Duderino Guest
    LSD, you've hit a raw nerve, but I am 100% behind your sentiments.

    My mum was adopted, as was her sister (who was killed in an RTA before I was born). My grandfather was considered dead by the family during WW2 against the Japs (he was the eldest son who was a top sportsman and signed up immediately), came home at the end, but wasn't able to conceive.

    They had the courage to adopt two half German babies, one who is my mum. Mama & Pa never, never treated us anything other than theirs, and I remember Pa crying when someone said we looked alike...tears of happiness. I have NEVER had better role models or people I love more than them, and do not go a day without thinking of them.

    When my grandparents passed away, we were immediately considered outcasts, and this has hurt like nothing you'd ever imagine. Despite my best efforts I am not considered family because I don't share blood. My great uncle drank/gambled away a family fortune/properties, which were rightfully Pa's when he left to fight, but the will wasn't changed, because he was presumed dead.

    Adoption is good, but I can say from a 2nd generation, that there is nothing more hurtful than not knowing your true roots. Live in a state of constant confusion, uncertanty, and questions..it will rip you to pieces, guaranteed!

  5. #5
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    Adopting in Australia is not easy. And it's not considered good to specify sex. For local adoption in this country, if known, the relinquishing mother gets to peruse the families profiles and decide who she would like the child to go to.

    Overseas adoption is a long waiting game. the current waitlist for china is over 5 years.

    And, most importantly, adoption is not a easy road to go down. It requires a great deal of patience and the ability to let others take care of their own feelings - ie family/friends who take it personally when you tell them they can't pick up your newly adopted child. (It does make you realise how few people understand when an infant/toddler is under emotional stress). But you learn so much it's unbelievable.

    As to the topic, IMHO it's wrong, wrong, wrong.

  6. #6
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    I thought this was tragic ... what a terrible mess their minds are in to abort ..apparently healthy twin boys ...because they wanted a girl. According to the story they are "grieving the loss" of their daughter who dies at 3 months and now wish to "do anything to have another daughter. Those who have lost a child will truly understand their devastation at the loss of their daughter.

    Question: Who grieves for those (apparently healthy) twin boys?

    I also grieve for the women who have been given no option other than that of abortion because I have seen quite a few whose mental health has been virtually destroyed later in life as a result of their grief for that child that was never born...

    In this case, had her husband or someone else assulted her and caused the loss of the twin boys... there are penalties for that. But no, a doctor, at the parents' request because they wanted a girl, legally killed the boys ... logically it doesn't stack up.

    In Victoria it is now legal to kill a baby at the moment of birth..it's called a partial birth abortion. So at one end of the hospital we might have doctors and nurses in the neonatal units saving premmie babies at 24 weeks and in another part of the hospital other doctors are legally killing -often healthy -late term babies as they enter the birth canal.

    Now lest you all chime in and say...it's a woman's choice...what about the 50% of those babies who are "potential women" in society...do they have a choice as well..?

    Lest you say I am emotional...let me suggest that that's a cop out for not facing up to the reality that over 100,000 potential Aussies have their lives terminated every year for spurious reasons...do we really have that many genuinely ill women whose health is at risk if they give birth...

    My question is : What sort of society are we that it's come to this? If the baby is to be born at say 36 weeks and it's not wanted, then it can be left somewhere to die or given an injection in the womb or have its skull crushed and the brains sucked out .... And it's legal in Victoria because a doctor does it. But if the baby were to be born early and naturally and the mother, because she's at her wits end and feels there's no other way out, deliberately drops the baby on its head ...same result... but she's likely to be charged with murder or at least manslaughter... go figure!! And Medicare pays for this...

    Capital punishment has been legislated against for many years...these days it seems the guilty are spared the death penalty (as they should be) while the innocent and most vulnerable are handed the death penalty for someone else's mistakes or whim.

    Go hug your parents if you can and thank them for allowing you to be born and participate on this website!!!

    I look forward to a robust response!

  7. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by LSD_AUTOMOTIVE View Post
    To be honest...(and thinking this topic should probably be on the soapbox)
    If they want a girl. and only a girl. They could adopt. There are plenty of little girls out there who would love to be loved.
    There are hundreds upon thousands of couples who would kill to be pregnant, singleton or otherwise and this just feels like taking advantage of a system intended for those who need help...

    I am pro-choice - but to choose to get pregnant and then just change your mind because there is a convenient way out doesn't sit well with me.

    Not to mention if they were pregnant with twin boys...they must have either had invasive testing to know the twins were boys or were very far along in their pregnancy...
    3D scanning is readily available now from early pregnancy. The clarity of the foetus is amazing, so a couple can see in early pregnancy the all round "status" of their offspring and make choices accordingly.

  8. #8
    miky Guest
    Hoges, you have said it all for me. So sad to hear about this aspect of what some of us humans do at times.


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  9. #9
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    That is just criminal. I am not for one minute anti abortion, but this circumstance just bowled me over. No ifs and butts they should go to jail. Look I empathise a bit that they wanted a girl, but they should be just damn thankfull they can have kids and have healthy kids. These type of self centred people blow me away.
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  10. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by ramblingboy42 View Post
    3D scanning is readily available now from early pregnancy. The clarity of the foetus is amazing, so a couple can see in early pregnancy the all round "status" of their offspring and make choices accordingly.
    Yes, 3D scanning is great. But. Your baby's heart starts beating around 6 weeks. Those gender scans can't give any degree of certainty until 12-14 weeks and even then there is not enough distinction. Most women don't find out the sex until 16-22 weeks for this reason. (The whole pregnancy being roughly 40 weeks duration) There may be issues with the cord being in the way or the penis not being large enough to be disctinct on a scan. No responsible US tech will give you a 100% girl/boy verdict from pictures. Normally something like an amniocentisis (apologies for spelling) would be needed to be sure of the sex. This in itself has the risk of miscarriage or damage to the baby. Termination after 10-12 weeks is rare and generally needs medical backing. Termination after 20 weeks (in WA at least) goes to a medical board.

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