please spare a thought...

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Originally Posted by Vern

Trying to bring your father back to life

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Look I don't think one can define "real grief" and to be honest nor should we. Grief is grief no matter how you play it. One man's grief could be another's so what. Grief ultimately is personal and hence we will always see it differently to other's.....no need to compete on it ;).

I had my first real dose of adult grief recently.....when I learned that my father who I love and adore.......a tough ol bastard.........has advanced lung cancer...inoperable. That was 9 weeks ago............I still haven't come to terms with it.........but I did make a choice out of it. The moment I read the email................was the moment I stopped smoking forever. 9 weeks....almost another divorce ;) and children saying...Dad wear maybe 1/2 a patch :twisted:......I still haven't had a smoke.

My point is taking into account the OP.....and my sometimes rather bull at a gate approach ( **** me......ya think so ;)) just as sometimes peoples choices lead them to homelessness/ grief.........it is also a choice of those that stand by and watch to feel pity or woe............or take action.

Regards

Stevo

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Originally Posted by stevo68

Look I don't think one can define "real grief" and to be honest nor should we. Grief is grief no matter how you play it. One man's grief could be another's so what. Grief ultimately is personal and hence we will always see it differently to other's.....no need to compete on it ;).

Regards

Stevo

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Agree 100%:) (including the ****ing contest bit);)

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Originally Posted by Vern

Agree 100%:) (including the ****ing contest bit);)

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So do I...with Steveo:eek:....Thats why when you say others have never experienced "real grief" I asked for your thoughts on what it is, its different levels for everyone, so you can't say others haven't experienced real grief......but even something as horrific as trying to resuscitate a loved one, the anquish of a loved ones mental incapacity to better themselves, even with the help of supposedly the finest mental health to be had, or just the mere lose of a loved one when they dissappear, lose of a pet, or what have you, doesn't need to end with your life in the gutter, that's what I see as a choice, everyone greives, its how its dealt with that's the choice, one doesn't need to "man up" and be a hardcore no emotion, but they can choose to continue on in life, to supply for their family, do what they have too

Thats how I see it, I appear to lack compassion to most, but have been known to appear at the odd hospital bed to see someone you care a little for:p:D

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Originally Posted by rovercare

So do I...with Steveo:eek:....Thats why when you say others have never experienced "real grief" I asked for your thoughts on what it is, its different levels for everyone, so you can't say others haven't experienced real grief......but even something as horrific as trying to resuscitate a loved one, the anquish of a loved ones mental incapacity to better themselves, even with the help of supposedly the finest mental health to be had, or just the mere lose of a loved one when they dissappear, lose of a pet, or what have you, doesn't need to end with your life in the gutter, that's what I see as a choice, everyone greives, its how its dealt with that's the choice, one doesn't need to "man up" and be a hardcore no emotion, but they can choose to continue on in life, to supply for their family, do what they have too

Thats how I see it, I appear to lack compassion to most, but have been known to appear at the odd hospital bed to see someone you care a little for:p:D

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And on TV, that's how it happens, not everyone can continue.

No you don't lack compassion, Your just young, in time you will grow;)

Baz, old fart that cares:p

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Originally Posted by Redback

And on TV, that's how it happens, not everyone can continue.

No you don't lack compassion, Your just young, in time you will grow;)

Baz, old fart that cares:p

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I wouldn't know what happens on TV, I'd be lucky to watch more than a couple hours a week and that's usually inadvertantly

We'll see how my sunny disposition changes as I age:D

At a soup kitchen--they do not call it that, today they had a memorial service for a 46 year old Aboriginal man named Barry who has recently died. The astounding thing is that normally around 60 people go their for a feed. But 120 turned up for his memorial service. Sadly I never knew him. Had briefly said hello, then went and talked to others who I normally talk to. But 120 people turning up shows he was something special. And less than a dozen were aboriginal, the rest who turned up were White Caucasians, many of them very well dressed.

And those who spoke said how Barry had helped them greatly. Oh, and many of these well dressed folk, who were so impressed with Barry had met him at A.A.

I cannot really put this in words, but they were all so affected and touched by him.

I think the saddest part for me is that I had never got to know him, and I think he was someone who may have been worth knowing.

Another story why some people are homeless. Was talking to an attractive homeless girl today who has been living in a tent with her boyfriend [they are about to move into a rented caravan at only $150 per week]. She grew up with a mother who would strap her every day as punishment. When she asked her mum what she was being punished for, her mum would say "I know you will be bad later so I am punishing you for it now," where this girl replied to her mum "that's not fair."

Her mum convinced doctors that she was an impossible child, and had her put on medication, But later when her mum was diagnosed as a manic depressive, and so her mum was put on medication herself.

This girl is very smart and wants to do a Uni course in social work, but cannot afford the cost of studying at Uni.

Some parents are shockers!