Thread: Marriage course

This is a good idea, I think I should write one.. With a problems and solutions table. For example:



Problem: grubby fingerprints on the kettle.

Background: when your significant other is working hard, say in the yard or workshop there can be a great need for a cup of tea, and it can take too long to properly clean up for a short break.

Solution: make your significant other a cuppa whenever they need it with your clean paws and the kettle will remain pure.



Am I doing it right?

Without knowing your situation, i'll run down a few common problems that may help.

If you have been with your partner for awhile, her mentioning to you about a counsellor is her way of saying, I want to save this relationship, can we talk. Quickest way, is to actually talk and listen. Dont do this under the influence of alchohol or drugs. Keep an open mind and see her side of things, it may hurt. This way saves you money and gets you brownie points, (just because you tried). May take some time..

Next option, same scenario: Tell her that you will look for a councellor that you feel comfortable with (there is no shame in this, and will bring you brownie points). The reason why I mention this, believe it or not, if you choose a female councellor, you have immediate sympathy on your behalf as the female psychie is a protective one, and you will have a councellor that works with both of you (especially you) unless your an ass.. You will most likely get what you want, with minimal pain, and she will be happy. There are exceptions to this rule: As a few proffessions like councellors that deal with traumatic issues all the time, same as servicemen from war, mental health workers, police who deal with child molestations etc, I have seen them all. They have been damaged and need help themselves (you will pick up on this) and try another councellor.

If your about to get married it is quite a normal thing to do now "to see someone", males dont tend to talk about all their feelings, so you will get a good scope on what she really wants, as she will open up. This could save you years of pain, and maybe a costly and heartbreaking divorce down the track.

Comments on here about how long they have been together are fantastic! They are great stories, but it dosnt pan out that way for everyone.

If she has brought up the isssue because you are getting married in a church, and it dosnt bother you, then keep her happy and suck it up.

If the situation does bother you ethically, talk to her about why it bothers you.

If you are doing it because the church is nice, then two ways come to mind: If you believe in lifes creator, then talk to the pastor, minister, rabbi, priest, cleric etc about your beliefs. If they dont like your way of belief, remind them there are many ways to get to Melbourne, car, train, bus, plane, bicycle, walk etc. We are all headed to Melbourne on our own journies, there is no right way, and tolerence needs to be accepted. If he dosnt play ball and see this analogy, do you really want to get married in such a closed minded place?

If so, agree with whatever they say, and take it with a pinch of salt.

Remember the clergy mostly do not have higher education on matters like these. Only what their beliefs are, and they are many.

If you can open up and talk honestly about stuff, then you shouldnt need to see anyone.

Easier said than done for most blokes.

Just to throw in a light hearted answer: If she complains about the dunny seat up, do it in the sink...
Cheers,
Mik

[quote=dobbo;1967440]

Why can't they invent something for us to marry instead of women?

--FRED FLINTSTONE/QUOTE]


enough said.

They're working on a man+man version if that suits you.

The wife and I have been learning the "Marriage" trade for the last 13 years. Have we got things right.... who knows, we have our moments of arguments and blues... and we have a moments of bliss (can you guess which ones we have the most of??)

I was bought up in A military family, was trained to do things a certain way by the military, and still do certain things that way (ironing clothes for instance) she was bought up in a highly religious family....and ultra disciplined family (bordering on abuse if I was being honest). In the main we compromise, I do things my way, she does things her way, and we co-exist and every now and then we come together and do something the same way.

One thing about being married for so long... you certainly know when to bite your tongue and not say a word!!!!!!!

Cheers

Matt

Originally Posted by Tombie

For the record - married to my very tolerant wife 15 years this Wednesday.

that would have to be the understatement of this thread!

never trust a man that uses Fezzy logic!

its all good till stuff changes
life events happen and attitudes / physical ability changes
age difference can have an effect - for the worse

Dire Straits have got a new song out - Looking out for Caroline - has lines something like "when your in a hole, its great to have her there"

yep, it is, but some times its bloody hard work

worth sticking at? sitting here right now, yep

(didn't answer the question but I read the whole thread looking to check I am (trying to) getting it right)

Hay Ewe

My wife is Catholic I am not.
Wife wanted to get married in Catholic church- no biggy, but had to to do marriage course. My wife and I had been living together prior to getting married and we had already discussed alot of the issues / scenarios that the course brought forward. This to me indicated at least we were discussing things and had a good understanding of each other. One thing I did like about the course was doing the personality tests and comparing each others personality traits and it made us understand why we each acted differently to same scenario. I personally think it is a good thing to do and suggest it to couples that are heading down that path, has it contributed it to the "success" of our marriage - I really do not know.

Quote:
Why can't they invent something for us to marry instead of women?

--FRED FLINTSTONE/QUOTE]


enough said.



[quote=Davo;1967463]

Originally Posted by dobbo

They're working on a man+man version if that suits you.

Most on here seem to be wedded to their Land Rover (or several...for those into Big Love