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Thread: Customer service centres should have clear speaking representatives!

  1. #21
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    After reading this thread I was reminded of this old joke that bounced around the net some years back (Crikey, apparently what I recall as "some years back" was actually 1999! No wonder I feel old(er) some mornings...).

    It's from Jokes - Tendjewberrymud

    "Tendjewberrymud"

    Be warned, you're may find yourself talking "funny" for a while after reading this. This has been nominated for best email of 1999.

    The following is a telephone exchange between a hotel guest and room-service at a hotel in Asia, which was recorded and published in the Far East Economic Review.
    Room Service (RS): "Morny. Ruin sorbees"
    Guest (G): "Sorry, I thought I dialled room-service"
    RS: "Rye..Ruin sorbees..morny! Djewish to odor sunteen??"
    G: "Uh..yes..I'd like some bacon and eggs"
    RS: "Ow July den?"
    G: "What??"
    RS: "Ow July den?...pry, boy, pooch?"
    G : "Oh, the eggs! How do I like them? Sorry, scrambled please."
    RS: "Ow July dee bayhcem...crease?"
    G: "Crisp will be fine."
    RS: "Hokay. An San tos?"
    G: "What?"
    RS: "San tos. July San tos?"
    G: "I don't think so"
    RS: "No? Judo one toes??"
    G: "I feel really bad about this, but I don't know what 'judo one toes' means."
    RS: "Toes! toes!...why djew Don Juan toes? Ow bow singlish mopping we bother?"
    G: "English muffin!! I've got it! You were saying 'Toast.' Fine. Yes, an English muffin will be fine."
    RS: "We bother?"
    G: "No..just put the bother on the side."
    RS: "Wad?"
    G: "I mean butter...just put it on the side."
    RS: "Copy?"
    G: "Sorry?"
    RS: "Copy...tea...mill?"
    G: "Yes. Coffee please, and that's all."
    RS: "One Minnie. Ass ruin torino fee, strangle ache, crease baychem, tossy singlish mopping we bother honey sigh, and copy....rye??"
    G: "Whatever you say"
    RS: "Tendjewberrymud"
    G: "You're welcome"

    Have a good Saturdee folks.

  2. #22
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    Quote Originally Posted by Roverlord off road spares View Post
    Telstra's chief executive has put a five-year time limit on thousands of Australian-based call centre jobs, saying online services are the way of the future.

    Makes a lot of sense, you have a technical problem with Bigpond, you have no internet connection so you need help, you can't ring a call centre for tech help. You need to find help online, but how can you do it without a working internet connection. You go next door to your neighbor, ask to borrow their internet and find the troubleshooting info .
    The sad fact is that Telstra really don't care what the consumer wants.. They do all this advertising pushing new services that a big percentage of the country can't have, where they could simply return all call centers to Oz, stop the fancy adverts, charge each customer $5 more (I'd happily pay $10 more a month to get the service I require and speak to someone in Australia), and provide a better service! I've learned now that every time I call Telstra now, the conversation always starts with the word 'Complaints' regardless of what I want. I'm guaranteed to get to talk to someone in Melbourne, and then when they say "you've come thru to the wrong department", my reply is "that's as maybe so, but if you don't fix my problem, there really will be a complaint!!!!" Works every time!!!
    1995 Mercedes 1222A 4x4
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    1991 VW Citi Golf Cti (soon to be Tdi)

    'When there's smoke, there's plenty of poke!!'
    'The more the smoke, the more the poke!!'

  3. #23
    DiscoMick Guest
    One distinctive thing Indians do is to use continuous or progressive tense all the time, so their verbs always end with 'ing' e.g. 'This train, she's going to Toronto, then she's goint to Brisbane.' Cracks me up.

    We have a Filipino friend who paid her way through her Masters degree by working nights at a call centre in Manilla whose customers were mostly Americans. She had to sound so American that the Americans didn't realise they were talking to a Filipino. She has great English and kept the job for four years.
    Sent from my GT-P5210 using AULRO mobile app

  4. #24
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    Last time i had a drama with foxtel i got put through to a fella in Manila.Could not understand a thing he said.Last bigpond problem led to a bloke that sounded like Kamahl who ****ed me off so much i just gave up and went to a Telstra shop and did not leave till i got help.

  5. #25
    Roverlord off road spares is offline AT REST
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    Blood boiling again today.
    After a comprimise and being told it would cost $55 to fix the lap top. Today I get a call from the repair centre again by the uncomprehensible male.
    It will cost over $400! to fix it.( $400 to fix one component of a $500 lap top!) Hang on buddy , slow down hold your horses. You quoted $55 and that is what we are going to pay.
    No it wasn't he muttered.
    Yes it was, you went and spoke to your supervisor and came back with a comprimise of $55,and gave up a job number for the repair.

    He then comes with if you want to dispute it, blah blah.
    I have told him I am going to fair trading over this.
    He then says the $55 was only to quote on repairs.
    Bull, they already had it the week before to quote, and under warranty it should not be payable.
    Then when asked why over $400 when a screen can be purchased on ebay for $70.
    The come back was, oh the manufacturer supplies the LCD and the plastic screen.
    Have you bothered to just ask for just the screen we asked. Ah, umm no.
    Then there's $50 freight and this and that.
    I'm not happy with office works, why are we dealing with 3rd parties when they are the store who sold it to us. They should be handling this on our behalf.
    Going to tell them face to face tomorrow GRRRRRRRRRR


  6. #26
    DiscoMick Guest
    Yeah, I was quoted $55 to inspect a laptop and $400 to replace the keyboard, which had two faulty keys, so I said they must joking and plugged in a cheap keyboard I had on the shelf. That wasn't a language issue though, just a repair ripoff.

    Sent from my GT-P5210 using AULRO mobile app

  7. #27
    Roverlord off road spares is offline AT REST
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    Quote Originally Posted by DiscoMick View Post
    Yeah, I was quoted $55 to inspect a laptop and $400 to replace the keyboard, which had two faulty keys, so I said they must joking and plugged in a cheap keyboard I had on the shelf. That wasn't a language issue though, just a repair ripoff.

    Sent from my GT-P5210 using AULRO mobile app
    Repair rip off ebay has the screens around $70 from Aus and 1/2 that from Hong Kong.


  8. #28
    DiscoMick Guest
    Actually, a friend got one in from Hong Kong for me, but it was also faulty, so he sent it back.

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