If a person committed suicide

whilst the opening post for this thread may have seemed quite controversial or pointed or senstive / not sensitive, it has served to get people to talk.

Me suicidal - no
want to run away - yes.
can I run away - not morally, not with out causing more hurt.

The comment about talking with your mates and how it can back fire - yep.

Who to talk to?
the right person - who is the right person - it can get so far down a track that you wonder if the person you are talking to is the best / right person for you, and if you change, to start all over again is a lot of drama.

I have read a very good (for me anyway) book lately - about three times in 6 months I suppose - The Chimp Paradox.
For me it explains a lot - but not all, but helped me.

Currently I am reading The Power of Now.
It might seem like hippie tree hugging, or 'mumbo jumbo' but for me it is working and helping me understand what / why and possibly how to deal with in the future.

These books may work for you or not

the hardest part was knowing where to start, and when thinking clear feels not possible, I dont know where the start was.

as for the right person, after getting 'beaten up' by my psych coucellor this morning, I dont know (yes whole other subject there)

I totally understand the "Running Away!" thing.

problem with running away is that i imagine, its very hard to leave your problems behind. Suppose thats why the are called baggage

Please don't runaway like this.

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Originally Posted by Hay Ewe

problem with running away is that i imagine, its very hard to leave your problems behind. Suppose thats why the are called baggage

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I know a bloke who ran away. He was a very close friend, as where his wife and three kids. His father was a suicide and he himself had tendencies, or so he said.
He took off up your way about fifteen years ago with another woman and the beginnings of his new family.
His eldest, a Son, whom he rarely contacts and sees even less, in his Fathers absence, has become his Father. The kid already has two kids of his own to two different Mothers.
Despite having enormous support from a broad family and friends network, he can't hold down a job. Not that he doesn't work hard or apply himself. He does and he does well. He could be earning 100K/Annum in a couple of jobs he's had and in one that he knocked back. (Some people would give their right arm for that one.) But the poor bugger just can't settle.
I bent over backwards to try and stop the rift between his Mum and Dad I copped all kinds of abuse from my supposed mate. The boy was used as an emotional football by his Mum and Dad as well and I had to do my best, which was sadly inadequate, to soften the blows on him.
Thank all the powers, his sisters are doing well.
So, I would entreat all and sundry who feel the despair and suffer the pain and the anguish, to fight it with all you've got. Reach out to to all who will listen and help. Stuff and burn the ****** who turn away, and please get well.

Pleas don't do the Harold Holt and please don't neck yourself.

I live in a small town. About 5 years ago one of the players from our footy team committed suicide. He was in his early twenties.

This hit the town hard, especially the footy club, which pretty much is the social fabric of the town.

Apart from my own father, I don't think I have ever been to such an emotional funeral.

What then hit even harder, especially for the family, was two years later his younger brother also did it.

I just can't imagine losing one of my sons, let alone two!

So sad.

Yep quite a topic this one! Anything that gets people talking about mental health is a step in the right direction

Last year my best mate hung himself. It wasn't the first time he had tried but he seemed to be doing well for quite some time. The time before the last time I was on the phone to him most of the night and was able to drum some sense into him... On this particular morning though my family were visiting from interstate and I was having time with them when I had a call from him.... As I don't get much time with family I thought I'd call him back later and hit silent.... One of those little decisions your don't think much of at the time but leave you with far too many "what if " moments into the future.

He had put us through it a few times and I really wanted to hit him sometimes. As was stated above if someone is intent on ending it there is little you can do to stop it. Though I think there is a lot that can be done before that point. When I first found out I wanted to punch him, after that I wanted to punch him then give him a hug, now I think id give him a big hug still followed by a punch though.
I had many conversations with him about it after prior close calls (people finding him passed out already in the car ect) where I'd call him a selfish ***** but true to form he would turn it back on me and say your all the selfish ones as he was the one dealing with the crap and pain, he saw us as selfish as we wanted to avoid our own personal pain of dealing with the loss by extending his suffering, and it was his life and he should be the one choosing what course to take. I have to reluctantly admit that there is some logic in that.

He wasn't short of support but I think the treatment he received after the attempts was detrimental at best. He was an intelligent bloke and true to form would be able to to always find flaws in psychologists rationale (his mum was also a shrink).

Unfortunately there are no simple answerers when it comes to suicide and mental health with each individual having there own unique set of circumstances (which unfortunately does not lend itself to meaningful research apart from identifying risk indicators)
Anyway I wasn't going to post anything in this thread but hey here I am. In summery be good to your mates and if you think something is up it's better to come across as an overthinking sensitive dick than living with regret of not addressing it.

When a person is in such emotional pain, they have no sense of "reason". - just want the pain to stop, and , that decision has usually already been made... ('Motive') - Now we're just waiting on the other two...'Means' and 'Opportunity' - to join the party!

No-one can be expected to successfully 'second-guess' them every time...or indeed, at all. The smarter they are, the better they be at 'disconnecting' from their friends & family. They will feeel that they're alone (on the inside), and "One" is the loneliest number...

A magistrate friend told me recently he guesses at least half the people in mental health centres have been made even more depressed by their regular use of canabis.

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Originally Posted by superquag

When a person is in such emotional pain, they have no sense of "reason". - just want the pain to stop, and , that decision has usually already been made... ('Motive') - Now we're just waiting on the other two...'Means' and 'Opportunity' - to join the party!

No-one can be expected to successfully 'second-guess' them every time...or indeed, at all. The smarter they are, the better they be at 'disconnecting' from their friends & family. They will feel that they're alone (on the inside), and "One" is the loneliest number...

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very good point and clarity superquag. I had at the time several trees picked out, or bridge sidings, or rock solid points of stillness that would work. All at speed, all to look like an accident, and no one had any idea. To drift into an oncoming truck or fail a level crossing only complicates it for innocent people, so that was not an option for me.
I'd spend my days in a numb haze passing these points waiting for "opportunity" to jump.

But time passes, life changes, interest change. And I guess to put it nicely the soft light that creeps over the ridge and down into the valley can fill the days with warmth and a better life. Not to say the night doest't come back, but as long as one follows the light, it's possible.