If a person committed suicide

This is certainly a difficult topic and one that shouldn't be taboo and needs to be discussed. I struggle to understand how bad things can get for people that would cause them to want to do this, i do count myself lucky in this respect as if my twin brother was the same, he would still be alive.

I'm very reluctant to tell this story in public, and few - even my closest friends here, would know the details I'm about to reveal, but I think if it helps anyone understand the repercussions of this, then it will have been worthwhile. Forgive me if this seems a little jumbled, it's a story I still have trouble talking about.

I have difficulty talking about this topic as it is so close to home, like so many other here, and everywhere unfortunatly, but it is something that needs far more attention than it gets.

The knock on effects can be devastating to so many. At my Brothers funeral a lifelong friend stood up and spoke about him. She related stories from our childhood and from the things he'd done for the local community.

She took her own life a few days later. My Brothers ex girlfriend - another good friend of mine whom I has also known for her whole life - did the same within a month.

3 young lives gone in a small community of 700 people in only a few weeks. The repercussions are still felt to this day.

I'm not sure what the answer is, but we certainly need to do something. I'm not relating this story so people feel sorry for me, just so people who haven't experienced this can understand how devastating it is to not only the immediate family but the ripples it sends out and the consequences of that.

For those that think there is no way out, it must be truly terrible and I can't begin to understand what that feels like, but I know that had we been given the chance to help, we would have moved heaven and earth to do so - whatever that would have meant.

In my other life as a postman, one day at Shorncliffe I came across an hysterical woman, screaming. Her BOL had hung himself, over a woman. We went into the garage, I held him, she cut him down. I performed CPR until the coppers came, yelling at him, telling him what a selfish so & so he was, calling him all the names under the sun. Didn't work, he was gone. Turns out he had tried before, the old Sgt I gave my statement to told me if they are going to do it, nothing will stop them. Couldn't finish the run, went back to the office, burst into tears. I formed the opinion then that those who do that are in a different world, perhaps a world of hurt, and see no other way out. Irrationally, I wanted to smack him in the mouth, not PC I know. It may have been better if he had not had a meal high in garlic. When I get that same taste now, I feel sick.

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Originally Posted by DiscoMick

Pain is certainly very draining. Chronic pain is a physical problem so I wonder what the underlying problem was and if it could have been fixed.

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Just explaining Chronic pain: It is literally in the head. I'm being serious.
Some one in chronic pain does not show any physical trauma , so hence people round the sufferer do not understand. This can also adds to further to depression and anxiety as those around you don't realise the pain you are going through. It would be better to have something to show for it like a bandage, then others would relate visual injury = pain

How it happens the acute pain area has been healed, operations were successful , the trauma has healed etc.
But, with chronic pain your brain pain receptors still get signals that the injured area is still sending signals.

I have had 2 painful radio frequency nerve devations performed where they burn away the nerves, it is supposed to remove the the nerve ends.
It left me with loss of feeling and some paralysis on my left side but didn't take the pain away.
I have been on Ketamine infusions a 24/7 high dosage in hospital.I was high as a kite, hallucinations etc, I think it also had side effects years later. Weekly infusions of magnesium, drug and more drugs and even more drugs
I had other procedures done, I was a candidate to have a wire fed up my spine and have a little "power pack" fitted to my side like a TENS machine, that could dial up pain relief. I refused to go down that track after seeing people I was in the hospital ward come back into hospital with the wires coming off and having to go back repeatedly in big pain to have them reconnected under anesthetic.
I have had this condition for years now, pain specialists have given up, there are only so many radical procedures they can do.

Then I got worse, where I only had to look a painful experience and could physically feel the pain myself. I can't watch medical procedures on TV any more, or programs like tattooing, anything that causes pain.I used to love watching them with interest.

I saw both the psychiatrist and psychologist and told them about this. They both confirmed I have now so used to chronic pain that my brain now takes a short cut . The body has senses, like sight, smell and touch.
My brain now uses the sense of sight as a pain receptor as well as touch.
I have to try and desensitize myself, by trying to concentrate on other things when this happens. I can tell you it's bloody hard.

The first psychiatrist worked out my mental state was caused by chronic pain, ( I knew that all along and I didn't need a degree), being in pain 24hours a day and not being able to control it and get relief caused my depression and I became angry.
I was in rehab and met many people in the same boat, they had chronic pain and depression. Rehab offered psychiatrist/ physio/ hydrotherapy I found that it helped me being in a group session with people in similar circumstances. I found that we began to talk and share our problems in a constructive way, and support one another through the time we had at rehab. The problem is rehab doesn't go on for ever and the peer support is not there when you finish it, so I relapsed.

I have found out over the years I have been treated that mental health is more common then you think. People need to bring it out into the open and remove any stigma that may be attached.

Fortunately lately I am improving and starting to have a little bit better quality of life, support is a great help and I have made some good friends through this forum, some times they will give me a call just to see how I'm getting on, this helps me keep going.
Cheers, Mario

Over my years since my injury, I have met many people who have similar circumstances. They had an accident, they sustain significant life changing injury. The have to battle with recovery but then there are other factors contributing to their metal health that takes a big toll on their mental state.


I have a friend that had his top of his head scalped by an aeroplane propellor that started whilst he was working on it. My friend was in a coma for 3 months. The employer tried to cover up the scene and they tried to make out my friend did it deliberately to himself. Then after a considerable time recovering from the physical injury, my friend had mental issues scarring him. Battling with the work cover insurers. They try to wear you down. This adds to unwell mental health.

The insurers offered a small compensation amount $100,000, he asked his lawyers if that was fair. They told him to take it ( they were not really acting in his interests). He now knows in hindsight he has been cheated, so he has that added to his unwell mental state of mind

Another case where met a guy in hospital, he had his leg caught in a fishing net on a trawler boat, he was dragged overboard, he sustained very severe injuries. Again his boss tried to protect himself.
He had insurance investigators following him around, and they said they had footage of him at home lifting a piece of fire wood and scared him into taking a very small compensation amount settling out of court . He now lives by the skin of his teeth, he has little money to pay any bills and struggles, again this has caused him mental health issues as he got cheated.

So there are many things that vulnerable people get exposed to that add to their mental well being. These people often get to a state where they want to end it all.

Thanks Mario
All so true and a lot of it relevant to my partner who has chronic back pain that episodically is completely intolerable. Erodes resilience, self confidence and certainly faith in the medical system.....mental health becomes very difficult to maintain and ideas around suicide are understandable if disturbing. These times need to handled artfully and carefully.
I jointly ran a support group for people bereaved by suicide a few years ago everything people are saying about the devastating legacy that is left is so true. These are life changing experiences for the loved ones.

Just on yhe topic of workcover ( and TAC and the like) it is almost as if they are designed to aggravate and exacerbate the mental health of people subject to them. If these mobs can be avoided or the process cut short by getting a payout then I think it is a good idea. Get them out of your life and focus on being well and finding ways rebuild life without them. Of course finances are important but I see many people whose quality of life is destroyed by being trapped in complying with these systems in order to keep some money coming in.....it isnt a way to live and be well. The suicide and mental healh stats of WC clients would be frightening I expect.

As mentioned, a difficult & touchy subject, but one that needs to be discussed.

When I was 11 my family was involved in a car accident (or not an accident, but that's another matter) & I was the sole survivor in my family.
I was pretty banged up so they did not tell me my parents & brother were dead for sometime.
Thinking back later I had probably worked that out before they told me.
Anyway, after the initial shock I started to slowly get physically better & very body, including me, thought I would be fine.
Then, for no apparent reason, I stopped eating.
They tried to force feed me, stuck tubes down my nose I would just pull straight out, put me in restraints to feed me so I wouldn't fight, kept me sedated so I wouldn't pull the tubes & drips out (I still did) & tried everything they could come up with.
I still wouldn't eat.
I was in the 11 stone football team at the time of the accident. I was under 3 stone when they flew me to Brisbane hospital.

I was very fortunate that I had a very supportive extended family & eventually I started to dink milk shakes which they were mixing eggs into & after 18 months I got out of hospital, moved in with an Uncle & aunt & started to learn to walk again.

The reason for this story is that sometimes you don't even know you want to die. I think I did back then.
So, if I didn't know I wanted to die & I didn't think I wanted to die how could someone talk to me about it?
My mind was not "I want to die." It was "I don't want to eat."
The result would/could have been the same but it was not my conscious thought.

What might have been?

Jonesfam

Hi from some one that has to live through it, it is not nice. There was times in the early stages that I felt like just leaving, but I had the kids to think about to. I am grateful to you guys that has help out, with there phone call just to see how things are going. There should be more money put into mental health, and follow ups by some of these Dr's. Mario drop off one Dr and there was no follow up from them to see why he did not go there. The business also kept his mind on something else than his pain. A big thank you to you guys, you know who I am talking about. Heather

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Originally Posted by Roverlord off road spares

Hi from some one that has to live through it, it is not nice. There was times in the early stages that I felt like just leaving, but I had the kids to think about to. I am grateful to you guys that has help out, with there phone call just to see how things are going. There should be more money put into mental health, and follow ups by some of these Dr's. Mario drop off one Dr and there was no follow up from them to see why he did not go there. The business also kept his mind on something else than his pain. A big thank you to you guys, you know who I am talking about. Heather

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Yes follow up/communication/coordination.....the system put gps and other drs at the centre of the system but in reality they dont or cant do these things well.
They are so busy with churning through short consultations that the follow through mostly doesnt happen.

I went to an appt with my partner once to sort out a couple of things and let her know how serious things were with suicidal ideation.
She said sorry we cant discuss that becsuse you need to book a long consultation to talk about that. And with us dumbfounded at her and the systems incompetence we left.....she did not followup. She is no longer someone we go to. This sheds a bit of light into the very poor responses that a lot of people get when seeing drs about mental health issues. Gps are not mental health experts( to say the least) nor do they have the time ( because of the system we have) to attend prperly to it. This is a big problem in the system.

People in the Defence Force are usually pretty good at looking after their mates. The problem is the blokes who leave the system tend to be forgotten about as everyone is so busy These days. I have found Facebook is a great way to look out for people. I had a mate last year who dropped off the radar for about 6 months and one day I gave him a ring. It turned out he had a complete breakdown (Afghan Vet) and was in a bad way. I mentioned this to a few other mates who then rang him and kept a closer eye on him.
There are plenty of occupations these days where people slip under the radar. FIFO for example where you don't have people who see you every day and can see changes. Maybe we need a "Phone a Mate Day" or something to recognise this.

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Originally Posted by carlschmid2002

People in the Defence Force are usually pretty good at looking after their mates. The problem is the blokes who leave the system tend to be forgotten about as everyone is so busy These days. I have found Facebook is a great way to look out for people. I had a mate last year who dropped off the radar for about 6 months and one day I gave him a ring. It turned out he had a complete breakdown (Afghan Vet) and was in a bad way. I mentioned this to a few other mates who then rang him and kept a closer eye on him.
There are plenty of occupations these days where people slip under the radar. FIFO for example where you don't have people who see you every day and can see changes. Maybe we need a "Phone a Mate Day" or something to recognise this.

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My pych told me an ADF who returned from an overseas conflict was left to seek assistance via doctor and medicare and has to pay for the gap.
Where a person on work cover has their treatment completely paid for. My pych was pretty peed off about it.
Seems a quite unfair