Thread: Online videos

I think I now know what the rules are for posting a video clip online.

1. Under no circumstances should any part of the video be edited out, no matter how boring or irrelevant it is. For example, if your video features a 4WD recovery, you must include at least a minute of everyone standing around laughing at the fact that their mate got bogged. If something goes wrong during the recovery, it is even more important to show that his mates think that the damage caused is even funnier than the fact that he got bogged in the first place. However, because of rule number 2, thirty seconds will probably suffice.
2. The only part of any interest must be towards the end of the video to ensure that viewers waste the maximum possible amount of time waiting for something significant to happen. Viewers must be forced to wait as long as possible for the highlight.
3. The camera must not be held steady. Ideally, pans should be so fast that nothing is clearly visible and the general shakiness of the image should be sufficient to induce motion sickness in susceptible viewers.
4. Changing position during filming offers the perfect opportunity to include a few seconds of the cameraman's feet, the ground under his feet or possibly of the sky.
5. If a small detail is important, then a long shot should be used so that the detail is virtually invisible. If the background or context is important, it must be excluded from the shot.
6. It is important to select only the part of the action that supports whatever political point you want to make. Anything that gives the impression that there might be another side to the story should be scrupulously avoided.
7. It is essential to include enough obscenities to give the impression that the video is about something of great importance. The more idiotic the content, the more obscenities is the rule.
8. The title or subject line attached to the video must include one or more of the following phrases:
a) You won't believe what happens next.
b) You have got to see this.
c) This will make your day.
d) You will love this.
e) You won't be able to watch this without laughing/crying/ throwing up/etc.

Since I just can't bring myself to do any of those things, it looks as if I won't be posting any videos online.

However, that shouldn't be a problem because it seems that there are enough other people out there who follow those rules to the letter.

Originally Posted by vnx205

I think I now know what the rules are for posting a video clip online.

1. Under no circumstances should any part of the video be edited out, no matter how boring or irrelevant it is. For example, if your video features a 4WD recovery, you must include at least a minute of everyone standing around laughing at the fact that their mate got bogged. If something goes wrong during the recovery, it is even more important to show that his mates think that the damage caused is even funnier than the fact that he got bogged in the first place. However, because of rule number 2, thirty seconds will probably suffice.
2. The only part of any interest must be towards the end of the video to ensure that viewers waste the maximum possible amount of time waiting for something significant to happen. Viewers must be forced to wait as long as possible for the highlight.
3. The camera must not be held steady. Ideally, pans should be so fast that nothing is clearly visible and the general shakiness of the image should be sufficient to induce motion sickness in susceptible viewers.
4. Changing position during filming offers the perfect opportunity to include a few seconds of the cameraman's feet, the ground under his feet or possibly of the sky.
5. If a small detail is important, then a long shot should be used so that the detail is virtually invisible. If the background or context is important, it must be excluded from the shot.
6. It is important to select only the part of the action that supports whatever political point you want to make. Anything that gives the impression that there might be another side to the story should be scrupulously avoided.
7. It is essential to include enough obscenities to give the impression that the video is about something of great importance. The more idiotic the content, the more obscenities is the rule.
8. The title or subject line attached to the video must include one or more of the following phrases:
a) You won't believe what happens next.
b) You have got to see this.
c) This will make your day.
d) You will love this.
e) You won't be able to watch this without laughing/crying/ throwing up/etc.

Since I just can't bring myself to do any of those things, it looks as if I won't be posting any videos online.

However, that shouldn't be a problem because it seems that there are enough other people out there who follow those rules to the letter.

Allan, I think we need to get you out on the tracks and into a bit of camping, I think you need to watch that 4x4 show on 173 Aurora TV, 50% of the show is multiple, from every angle possible shots of 10 cars driving on perfectly good roads in convoy sucking on one anothers dust, the other 51% is an Advetorial from each driver of those 10 cars, Brilliant, Regards Frank.