Thread: Wish me luck, please..

Originally Posted by Gordie

Like the lyric in a song, I can't remember which..."life is what happens while you are busy making other plans",.... don't we know it, the older we get. All the best, hope everything goes ok.

Beautiful Boy, John Lennon.

John, I hope things work out well.

There's not much I can say that hasn't been said by numerous others here.

I am on numerous forums and there are two where I feel that there are real 'friends' there, despite never having met most of them. AULRO is certainly one such forum!

Thoughts are with you.

Best wishes John, hoping it all works out for you and mrs. Kudos to you for your bravery in reaching out!! Good Man!

I asked a Spoecialist Aged Care Director of Nursing for any advice she could give you. Here is her reply.


Uhmmm with the gentleman and caring for his mother.
Is he linked in with Carers Australia?
They will give him support IE in home and residential respite funding, recreational activities for him

Has he applied for a Consumer Directed Care Package?
Application through the Aged Care site
This will provide him with funding and Case management to access services, ACAS will make a determination of what level...for his mother be a level 4.

Is he receiving any services through his local council ie HACC services...they provide personal Care, home help, MOW
and home maintenance at a subsidised cost based on his mother's income.

He has been caring for mum for sometime, carers stress is well known and if he links into the above-mentioned services especially carers Australia..he will get some assistance .

He must apply for cdc package through the Aged Care site ..the case management will assist him

Hope this helps


Second e-mail from my nursing friend.

also add he is eligible for carers allowance even of he should be working, if not working, carers pension and allowance.

His mother will not be removed from the home unless she agrees, there is evidence of abuse or it is for respite purposes.
The more be is seen to be coping with existing services insitu...nothing will be done.
He needs to say HE needs respite.

I’ve been where you are at now - you will come through this cobber

Cheers - onebob

Originally Posted by johntins

I thank you so much for your post. It is indeed why I reached out on this forum. I feel, rightly or wrongly, that I have a connection here. I am not interested in "likes"

Your story is a true example of the disconnect that many of us experience. Not in my case this time, but I have to say that there have been serious withdrawal from FB issues for the younger gen to deal wth. Not sure we've jumped those hurdles yet, and it's their MOTHER they are dealing with. I am not for ONE second saying that they don't care, but thry have learned not to express. THAT I hate. One less whisky and that might make sense. Sorry.

As others have very well said, you have made the right choice to reach out to others. Keep it up! It is important that you share the burden of the situation you find yourself in with others. It will greatly assist you in navigating and processing one of the most difficult situations that a person can experience.

With regards to the kids, if I have read you right, it may be that they are in shock and having a hard time comprehending or coping with the I assume sudden question of mortality for their mum. I was in this exact situation as her kids when I was in my 30's. For me, it was all quite horribly unreal for some time as I clung to my routines (work, uni etc) as a way to cope with unexpected and awful news. It was my mum (with the benefit of life experience) who kept on reminding me that 'this is serious' who eventually coaxed me out of denial/avoidance-land and into actually being there with dad. My older sister never quite got there at all, much to her later regret.

Hang in there. I hope that you and Jan have a good outcome with this.

I knew this was a good place, this AULRO thing. I feel sincerity in all the posts, all the messages, and I thank you all.

Bigbjorn, I especially want to thank you for that info. I am aware of some of it, but certainly not all. I will explore it tomorrow. Mum had the doctor visit today ( A GP who does home visits and bulk bills; in the immortal words of Basil Fawlty, " we should have him stuffed". ). Her BP and heart are fine. She smoked like a chimney until I talked her into giving it up when I was 15. She has always enjoyed a wine or two, or more recently brandy, and she has the constitution of an elephant. I am considering the possibility of her outliving me. But, caring for her and being on call is a 24/7 proposition, which means full time work is out of the question at present, which of course adds financial pressure into the mix.

And, now there is Jan.

Folks, I know that my stuff is easy compared to things faced by others. I am truly grateful, however, to be able to share. I cannot burden her kids, or mine, with this, as they all have to deal with it as well. But, apart from one daughter, they all have families that need to keep going no matter what. Here, in my house that is far to big for us now, it gets lonely at night. This place, AULRO, is good for when that happens, so, again, I thank you all.

Originally Posted by akula

As others have very well said, you have made the right choice to reach out to others. Keep it up! It is important that you share the burden of the situation you find yourself in with others. It will greatly assist you in navigating and processing one of the most difficult situations that a person can experience.

With regards to the kids, if I have read you right, it may be that they are in shock and having a hard time comprehending or coping with the I assume sudden question of mortality for their mum. I was in this exact situation as her kids when I was in my 30's. For me, it was all quite horribly unreal for some time as I clung to my routines (work, uni etc) as a way to cope with unexpected and awful news. It was my mum (with the benefit of life experience) who kept on reminding me that 'this is serious' who eventually coaxed me out of denial/avoidance-land and into actually being there with dad. My older sister never quite got there at all, much to her later regret.

Hang in there. I hope that you and Jan have a good outcome with this.

You are right, her kids are in total shock. Jan always seemed eternal in some way. Now, I have to be a better person than I have ever managed to be, in order to help them, and it ain't easy. Still, there is always tomorrow. Sure, tomorrow brings new tests, new procedures, but where there's life, there's hope. Right?