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Thread: Ever put your foot in your mouth?

  1. 6th February 2018, 02:09 PM #1
    Roverlord off road spares
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    Ever put your foot in your mouth?

    Today I phoned a council office to complain about a footpath completely covered by low overhanging shrubs. The canopy was only about 1.2 metres off the ground and spread right across the foot path over to the nature strip. I couldn't bend down far enough to pass. So walking past this property you needed to walking on the road. It is near a specialist medial service so lots of people need to have clear access to walk on the footpath. I gave the property address to the girl and commented it was pretty bad and only a midget could pass under it. She then told me she was a midget but wouldn't hold that against me.

    Another time. I met an elderly man who was accompanied by a very young woman, I mean she was young, In conversation I asked it the man if it was for him or his daughter, only to get reply she was his wife.

    I met an elderly lady accompanied by an elderly man, there were going on a holiday together. Next time I met her he was accompanied by a very young man, I assumed that the young chap was her tradie, but got told he was here husband.

    Also never ask a lady when the baby is due I found out, some are just fat.

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  2. 6th February 2018, 04:37 PM #2
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    Met a gent I know and his wife in a supermarket. Her huge bulging Basket ball like tummy on her otherwise tiny frame had me putting a size nine in my mouth.Whens the baby due I asked

    An within the hearing of the Commanding Officer on HMAS Hobart. I did not know he was behind me "Cooks doing sloppy green Spaghetti Bolognese for the new guys again Chief". The Captain promptly threw up (revenge note- I some times get sea sick now!)

    Mentioned the huge puffy lips to a person only to find out they were having an serious anaphylactic reaction

    Told my son to stand up and stop being a woose. Next days xray showed a spiral fracture- Six weeks of plaster cast He was 4 years old. He still reminds me of it.
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  3. 6th February 2018, 06:58 PM #3
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    Not myself, but my seven year old grand daughter last month demonstrated that she can still put her foot in her mouth!

    Her oldest sister celebrated her first tooth as a baby by drawing blood on her big toe - (and a few hours later, the dog's tongue, which was cleaning up food that had missed her mouth!).

    And yes, I know the topic was not meant literally.
    John

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  4. 6th February 2018, 07:01 PM #4
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    Daughter fell off the trampoline once, complained her arm was sore - no blood so 'suck it up Princess' types of phrases followed - her wrist was broken....

    And yes, never ask someone when they are due, that will only end badly...
    If you need to contact me please email homestarrunnerau@gmail.com - thanks - Gav.
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  5. 6th February 2018, 07:05 PM #5
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    Today in fact....
    Went for my early morning coffee and whike chatting to one of my favourite Baristas, mentioned out of the corner of my mouth that the dress code has slipped due to that shieka sitting over there in ' her bloody active wear'.... to be told that it was her sister...😣😣. I DID apologise profusely and she assured me that i got 1 sugar in my large coffee, not a spoonful of salt...😣😅😅
    The Isuzu 110. Solid and as dependable as a rock, coming soon with auto box😊
    The Range Rover L322 4.4.TTDV8 ....probably won't bother with the remap..😈
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  6. 6th February 2018, 07:18 PM #6
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    When I (& SWMBO) were much younger I was in the shop where I worked talking to a Rep.
    SWMBO walked in pushing our daughter in a pram.
    Rep says to me "Look at that, what a Yummy Mummy, I could really **** that."

    I said "Excuse me", waked over & gave SWMBO a kiss, turned around & said to the Rep "I would like you to meet my wife. I don't think your dreams are coming true tonight".

    I have never seen anybody stutter & splutter so much & talk about turn red!
    SWMBO had a habit of wearing very short dresses at the time.

    When I told SWMBO she cracked up, thought it was a compliment in a rude way.

    Jonesfam
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  7. 6th February 2018, 09:17 PM #7
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    Not sure how to follow that last one....

    Tonight, junior school meet the teacher night. A big thing for the yr6 kids is the option to do surfing for sport for 2 terms. This year there were more kids than spaces so they drew from a hat and some missed out.

    A mum we know was complaining how unfair it was her daughter had returned the form before everyone but missed out. "Well she wasnt competing with mine" I said, "as when I asked if she wanted to do surfing she said no, didnt like surfing"

    Wife then points out my daughter had changed her mind (only as her friends were doing it) and took the last place in the draw.

    Lady at work is clearly expecting, but there is no way on earth I'm going to ask until she says so something.......
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  8. 6th February 2018, 09:29 PM #8
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    I only open my mouth to change feet.
    If you don't like trucks, stop buying stuff.
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  9. 6th February 2018, 10:30 PM #9
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    Quote Originally Posted by Roverlord off road spares View Post
    .............Also never ask a lady when the baby is due I found out, some are just fat.
    '88 County Isuzu 4Bd1 Turbo Intercooled, '96 Defender 130 CC VNT
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  10. 7th February 2018, 11:25 AM #10
    Roverlord off road spares
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    Quote Originally Posted by Homestar View Post
    Daughter fell off the trampoline once, complained her arm was sore - no blood so 'suck it up Princess' types of phrases followed - her wrist was broken....

    And yes, never ask someone when they are due, that will only end badly...
    I had a similar experience I was pruning and fell off a ladder , I landed on by bum and also smashed my wright wrist. I was laying there in Agony.
    My youngest son was about 3 or 4yrs old at the time , came out and saw me lying there. I asked him to get mum. which he left and came back , I said get mum. off he went again. When Heather finally came, I asked "what took you so long". She replied our youngest came into the kitchen and said had hurt himself , but he's ok as there is no blood

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