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Thread: Army life

  1. #1
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    Army life

    LIFE IN THE AUSTRALIAN ARMY

    Text of a letter from a kid from Eromanga, to Mum and Dad.

    (For those of you not in the know, Eromanga is a small town west of Quilpie in the far south west of Queensland.)



    Dear Mum & Dad,

    I am well.

    Hope youse are too.

    Tell me big brothers Doug and Phil that the Army is better than workin
    on the farm - tell them to get in bloody quick smart before the jobs are all gone!

    I wuz a bit slow in settling down at first, because ya don't hafta get
    outta bed until 6am. But I like sleeping in now, cuz all ya gotta do before brekky is
    make ya bed and shine ya boots and clean ya uniform. No bloody cows
    to milk, no calves to feed, no feed to stack -nothin'!! Blokes haz gotta shave though, but its not so bad, coz there's lotsa hot water
    and even a light to see what ya doing!

    At brekky ya get cereal, fruit and eggs but there's no kangaroo steaks or possum stew like wot Mum makes. You don't get fed again until noon and by that time all the city boys are buggered because we've been on a 'route march' - geez, its only just like walking to the windmill in the back paddock!!

    This one will kill me Brothers Doug and Phil with laughter.

    I keep getting medals for shootin' - dunno why. The bullseye is as big
    as a bloody possum's bum and it don't move and its not firing back at ya
    like the Johnsons did when our big scrubber bull got into their
    prize cows before the Ekka last year!

    All ya gotta do is make yourself comfortable and hit the target - it’s a piece of ****!!

    You don't even load your own cartridges - they comes in little boxes and ya don't have to steady yourself against the rollbar of the roo shooting truck when you reload! Sometimes ya gotta wrestle with the city boys and I gotta be real careful coz they break easy - it's not like fighting with Doug and Phil and Jack and Boori and Steve and Muzza all at once like we do at home after the muster.

    Turns out I'm not a bad boxer either and it looks like I'm the best the platoon's got, and I've only been beaten by this one bloke from the Engineers - he's 6 foot 5 and 15 stone and three pick handles across the shoulders, and as ya know I'm only 5 foot 7 and eight stone wringin' wet, but I fought him till the other blokes carried me off to the boozer.

    I can't complain about the Army - tell the boys to get in quick before word gets around how bloody good it is.


    Your loving daughter,

    Jill

  2. #2
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    Very Good.
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    Facta Non Verba

  3. #3
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    I like it,
    But what are they making her shave every day 8O ?

  4. #4
    RichardK is offline ChatterBox Silver Subscriber
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    It's funny enough without the punchline but when I got to that
    RichardK

    Series IV Matrix Offroad Camper following our Discovery 3 with E Diff, BAS Remap, Mitch Hitch, Uniden UHF, Codan NGT HF, Masten TPMS, Proquip Compressor Guard, ARB Winch Bar, Milemarker Hydraulic Winch, 4x4 Intelligence Rear Wheel Carrier, VMS GPS with Rear Camera,

  5. #5
    VladTepes's Avatar
    VladTepes is offline Major Part of the Heart and Soul of AULRO Subscriber
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    Yeah, good one :!:
    It's not broken. It's "Carbon Neutral".


    gone


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  6. #6
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    That's Great
    2023 Defender 130 D300
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  7. #7
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    Originally posted by YRVGreen
    I like it,
    But what are they making her shave every day 8O ?

    Oldie but a favourite!


    Shave - you see weird things everyday! :wink:

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