The Callum thread

[BradC]

We committed him for cremation last Tuesday. Someone gave us a great idea, so we picked up a huge collection of permanent markers and stickers and wrote all over the coffin. Put his favourite stickers on, took the Uke and sung the boys some songs.

Went and picked him up in the D3 today. Can't quite believe his 5 years distills down to an 86mm cube. He now fits in the cubby between the seats, which he'd have found hilarious as he was an expert in hiding in small spaces.

Penny came home today also, so the 6 of us are under the same roof again.

[4bee]

We committed him for cremation last Tuesday. Someone gave us a great idea, so we picked up a huge collection of permanent markers and stickers and wrote all over the coffin. Put his favourite stickers on, took the Uke and sung the boys some songs.

Went and picked him up in the D3 today. Can't quite believe his 5 years distills down to an 86mm cube. He now fits in the cubby between the seats, which he'd have found hilarious as he was an expert in hiding in small spaces.

Penny came home today also, so the 6 of us are under the same roof again.

Another big step out of the way, I'm told it gets easier from now on. Yeah, bollocks!

[BradC]

Another big step out of the way, I'm told it gets easier from now on. Yeah, bollocks!

One of the other dads that went through this earlier in the year observed "It never seems to get easier, but it does get easier to live with".

In theory Pams folks get out of quarantine in Adelaide on Friday morning and are on the first flight to Perth, so we're doing his memorial next Thursday and that'll close out the last formal part of the process. I don't expect it'll really get much easier in the short term, but I'm figuring that as time passes I'll become more functional as we settle into our new "normal".

[4bee]

One of the other dads that went through this earlier in the year observed "It never seems to get easier, but it does get easier to live with".

In theory Pams folks get out of quarantine in Adelaide on Friday morning and are on the first flight to Perth, so we're doing his memorial next Thursday and that'll close out the last formal part of the process. I don't expect it'll really get much easier in the short term, but I'm figuring that as time passes I'll become more functional as we settle into our new "normal".

Callum's passing is still too raw with far too many memories & reminders. Eventually these will fade & at the moment it still appears like the end of your world despite having lived with this for a long time.



I lost my dad with CA when I was 21 & can still recall the grief around us but after 65 years it certainly has faded but I do think of him daily & the mechanical stuff & experiences he taught me so in a way he still lives on in me.
I go into my shed & the set of Sidchrome Ringies I inherited, still confront me, but in a nice way.

I try to impart these things to my kids & Grand kids where appropriate & time will tell.


The things I do regret is not knowing a lot more of his early life ie. He owned & rode an INDIAN Motorcycle & also was a pedal racing cyclist & what he did during the Great Depression for work, (Tramway Track Maintenance I believe) amongst many other things which has brought it home to me to ask questions about close relatives & friends where possible. It is too late when down the track you look at photographs & wish to know more.

It takes a fair while to realise they aren't coming back.

[scarry]

Brad,thanks for the PM,really nice of you and immensely appreciated.

Bloody tough,just gotta keep going,the grief seems to come in waves.
Everything is fine then something triggers it,some nights i lay awake thinking about it all,other nights I sleep like a baby.

We had the memorial for her last Saturday,took her home in the old Landy in my sig,fitting as the vehicle was such a huge part of her life.

And one of the things she used to say was “ your father always said those Toyotas are bloody rubbish”

Yes as someone else said,we need to talk about it,seems to help.
Us four brothers have been together laughing,joking,reminiscing about old times,with lots of tears as well.
The most fun we have had together since we were kids....

Her final resting place will more than likely be Fraser Island,at a place that now isn’t open to the public,so we will have to hike in,but that will be fine.

Anyway,head up high,keep going,things will only get better,enough rambling from me,the tears are appearing again

[BradC]

What defines a year? The calendar says tomorrow, but it was Saturday night and it's Saturday night.

All I know is it feels like it was yesterday, and yet there's been an empty seat in the back of the car for what seems like an eternity.

At least the Disco has managed a year without another "mechanical". I'm off to open a scotch.

[Arapiles]

Best wishes Brad.

[Pedro_The_Swift]

Di lost both parents and her sister over 4 years, her mum and sister within 4 months,
all to various cancers.

Having lived with Di through all this all I can offer is, Brad, "if you are going through Hell, keep going."

I can now name-drop Di's Mum into our conversations, "What would Joycey think about you wearing THAT!!" and get a smile..
Its taken a while...

[BradC]

Haven't posted on this for a while. Earlier this year, a very wise mate of mine said "celebrate the positive things you want to celebrate, and forget the rest".

Today we held a party. For most it was just a party, but in reality it was a "10th birthday" party. We've never done this before, and we won't do it again but it was a combination of "double digits" and "he's been gone as long as he was here". We invited all our involved friends that knew him (Mums group, cancer family and blood family). We went and played laser tag, then off to the pub for an "all inclusive" afternoon. My brother wanted to pay his way, but I said "this is just the 5 birthdays we never had to pay for, booze and food included". He'd have had a ball.

He would have been 10 tomorrow. (That'd be today on the East Coast). Still can't believe this ****ing thing happened, but it is what it is.

I've been told the more you pick the scab, the more it bleeds. We've worked hard not to pick the scab, but there are times it bleeds by itself. Today we picked it a bit and tomorrow just is what it is. The 23rd of Sept will be the day he's been gone as long as he was here. That'll be a bugger of a day, so if the D3 can avoid breaking down that'd be great because enough is enough.

It's interesting. Every time I'm out in the regions I wander the local cemetery. A significant proportion are early 1900's and back, and there are a lot of kids. We've grown accustomed to our kids outliving us, so not doing so feels against the natural order. Sometimes I wonder.

[d1disco]

Wow Brad,
Thank you for sharing. Very sad to read. Wish i had words to say.
Thank you for sharing, and raising awareness.