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Thread: Cancer. The awkward conversation.

  1. #1
    BradC is offline Super Moderator
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    Cancer. The awkward conversation.

    I was just chatting to a 64 year old bloke with a new prostate cancer diagnosis, and thought I'd post my response here. Frankly because it's too important an issue not to pass on.

    My grandfather was not quite 20 years older than you when he had his removed, and he's just clocked 101. It's my hope you do at least as well.


    I find the biggest issue with men is talking about it. My neighbour (one of 7 brothers and 2 sisters) was diagnosed and treated about 4 years ago. When he put a broadcast out to his brothers about the diagnosis his older brother said "Oh yes, I had that 2 years ago". Had he actually spoken about it, my neighbour would have had the test earlier, got earlier intervention and required a much less severe treatment.


    I'm 48. My father is 76 and has recently been treated for Stage 3B Lung cancer (half lung resection and lots of chemo/radio). Prior to my son being diagnosed in 2019 my father "Didn't know anyone really that cancer affected", even though several of our family friends had died over the years. He was like the proverbial emu with his head in the sand. Over the last couple of years he's talked about it a bit more, but it took the death of his Grandson to really "wake him the **** up" and suddenly notice all the people around him that have been affected. Then he was diagnosed.


    Men don't talk, and they bloody need to. Stiff upper lip and stoic isn't a sign of strength, it's a potential death sentence.

    Given our longevity these days, most men will either die of prostate cancer, or with it. It's manageable if caught early enough. If you leave it too late then it'll either kill you or potentially introduce you to Mr Floppy. Having said that, my favourite quote is from George Burns who said "sex at age 90 is like trying shooting pool with a rope".

    If you haven't had the talk with your GP, do it sooner rather than later. Most of us over-maintain our Land Rovers. Apply the same philosophy to the body.

    Oh, and if you can, donate whole blood and/or platelets. If you are healthy, Male and under 42 get on the bone marrow donor register. If you are Female, under 42, healthy and never been pregnant, do the same. There is a "gotcha" with the Females though. The test will clearly indicate if you have been pregnant (ever) and there have been a not-insignificant number of women who when delivered that news and had no idea, "haven't taken it well".

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    Quote Originally Posted by BradC View Post
    Men don't talk, and they bloody need to. Stiff upper lip and stoic isn't a sign of strength, it's a potential death sentence.
    I totally agree with you, but just keep in mind that some don't talk about it purely because they just don't want to talk about it, and it has nothing to do with being stoic or having a stiff upper lip. People with cancer don't have to go out and have that conversation with everyone like they're some type of vegan and I think it is important to be respectful of that.
    Cheers
    Slunnie


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    I spoke to my doctor about this, as I have already outlived my mother and it will only be a few years till I outlive my father, both died of cancer of one sort or another, so I asked if I should get an all over body scan and he said no, but gave me a script for a full blood test. I ended up having that and a urine sample tested when I had a bad reaction to the covid booster shot, and it is amazing all the info they can get from the tests, so I think I am going to get one every year. The blood test also includes the PSA test for prostate cancer.
    Last edited by RANDLOVER; 19th September 2022 at 07:12 AM. Reason: Expansion
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    I'm not so sure about men not wanting to talk.

    I have just come out of an extended radiation treatment and during that time got to chat with a number of guys also getting treatment.

    Firstly your day or part thereof is buggered because you have to travel to your treatment centre, park , and then attend your treatment. After your treatment, back home where fatigue sets in and you want to sleep after you have applied an antiseptic/ moisturising cream to your affected area.The post treatment fatigue is real every day. So most people around you dont see you.

    At the clinic you do get a chance to chat but that gets interrupted by your appt and when you come out the person you were talking to is gone , and you may not cross paths for a week.

    The volunteer organisations that care for patients are just fantastic and thats where the knitted caps and gloves and things come from that you see some of them wearing. Some of the volunteers just sit in the waiting area and talk to you, and I'm thinking of becoming one myself.

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    I was diagnosed with prostate cancer a few months ago. I keep it quiet from my larger family (wife and sons know) to protect my mental health.

    Some of us just prefer to go about these things with little fuss.

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    ...man my thoughts are with you......have you started your treatment yet?

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    Quote Originally Posted by ramblingboy42 View Post
    ...man my thoughts are with you......have you started your treatment yet?
    Not as yet. There are two options being considered, being laser or rip it out. Not a fan of the latter. I know it can be an unpopular thing to say these days but I'm waiting on expert advice.

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    My youngest Brother, has had 2 recent PSA tests,both high,next step is biopsy,they are saying.

    Not enlarged,so one professional said to him just leave it and see what happens.

    He is still deciding what to do.

    If its anything like these BCC and SCC's i get,i would be getting the biopsy,IMHO,the earlier they get onto it the better.

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    Scarry, get him to have a biopsy done. Early diagnosis is everything.

    My prostate cancer was detected a year ago, "elevated" PSA from blood test. Cancer was slightly advanced

    but still contained, no metastasis.

    Had 39 doses of radiation and am on anti testosterone implants for 18 months. Radiation is a bit of a drag

    but PSA has now gone from 26 to 0.1 so treatment is working. Sore muscles and feeling a bit tired are my

    only side effects from the implants.

    A number of my friends have had prostate removed and are suffering from incontinence but maybe there was

    no choice.

    I talk to all men in their 60's (I am 70) and am not embarrassed in the slightest especially if it saves

    someone's life. No place for shyness when prostate is involved.

    Peter

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    TonyC is offline Wizard Silver Subscriber
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    I've had high PSA as long as I've been having it tested, 10 years or so.
    Both my father and uncle have had prostate cancer, but at an age where it was not unexpected.
    A few years back I got to visit the urologist for a consultation and check of the prostate, a little undignified but that's all, at the time we, GP Urologist and I made the decision to continue monitoring.
    Earlier this year, it was decided the further investigation was needed, due to Covid I only had phone consultation with the urologist, who sent me off for a CT scan. The scan showed up something that need investigation so off for a biopsy, because I had a CT scan the urologist knew exactly were to aim the biopsy, the result, what the CT picked up is benign.
    Big result is I now know, I'm clear, and we keep up the monitoring.

    So folks,
    Go see your GP,
    Have an annual check up, with bloods,
    DON'T PUT IT OFF

    Tony

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