Thread: Jokes

Q. What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephant coming over the hill?

A. "Here comes the elephant, over the hill."

Q. What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephant coming over the hill, wearing sunglasses?

A. Nothing, he didn't recognise him.

At last! My kind of jokes?.


How do you put an elephant in he fridge?
You open the door and put him in.
How do you put a giraffe in the fridge?
You open the door, take the elephant out, and put him in. I bet you forgot to take the elephant out didn't you!


The lion king is having a conference. All the animals attend except one. Which animal stayed away?
The giraffe. He's still in the fridge.

What's big, yellow, and can't waterski?
A bulldozer.

What's blue and white and flies through space?
A fridge in a denim jacket.

If you're talking about the jokes obviously have to do the cemetery trio of jokes


Why did I put a fence around the cemetery?

Because people are dying to get in.


Of course any time when driving past a cemetery it is procedure to say "look it's the dead centre of town"



And then comment that anyone living on the north side of the main road in town can't be buried in the cemetery

By now people will be interested and ask why not

And you can point out " because theyre still alive "

Rookwood Cemetery is the Dead Centre of Sydney.

Why did tommy fall off the swing?

Because he had no arms


Why did harry fall of his bike?

Because someone threw a fridge at him.


Why did the plane crash?

Because the pilot was a sausage.

Cheers

Dan

What flavour would Dad Jokes be?

Pop-Corny

"A farmer lost his wife after 50 years of marriage and phoned the newspaper to arrange a death notice, but was shocked when told the cost.

"I want something simple," he said "Gladys wouldn't have wanted anything swanky."

"Perhaps a short poem?" suggested the receptionist.

"No," he said. "She wouldn't want la-di-da. Just put 'Gladys Braithwaite died'.

"You need to say when," the receptionist replied.

"Do I? Well, put the 17th of March, that'll do."

"It is usual to add some meaningful phrase about the departed," the woman said.

"Ok, well put in 'Sadly missed'," he said.

"You can have another four words," she explained. "It's included in the price."

The obituary was printed as follows:

"Gladys Braithwaite died 17th March. Sadly missed.
Also tractor for sale."

Originally Posted by Disco-tastic

Why did tommy fall off the swing?

Because he had no arms


Why did harry fall of his bike?

Because someone threw a fridge at him.


Why did the plane crash?

Because the pilot was a sausage.

Cheers

Dan

Why did harry fall off his bike?

Because HIS SISTER threw a fridge at him.

(That's the version I heard)