Thread: Jokes

Originally Posted by sashadidi

Attachment 189767

I'm pretty sure that about ten years ago in Bulawayo I saw a sign for an optometrist who did vasectomies. I took a photo.... Must try to find it...

Originally Posted by Saitch

In the North Queensland tropics, there is a little mite known as 'Scrub Itch', of which a complete, extended family (of what seems like hundreds), loves to inhabit the pubic area.

After several uncomfortable episodes with the affliction, I discovered that the best remedy was the multiple application of a commercial "Crab Lotion", available from the local chemist in Airlie.

As other afflicted workmates quite often availed themselves of my "Lotion", I had to restock occasionally. I'm sure the chemist staff thought that I was a bit loose with my sexual favours, until I enlightened them.

While we're on crabs...... I have never forgotten a part in one of Spike Milligan's books (one of the earlier war diaries) wherein soldiers were using "Unction Blue" to treat crabs. A bloke went into a pharmacist's to see if he could discreetly get some. When he very quietly enquired over the counter, whoever was serving said "What?? Unction Blue??????" - so he shouted back "Yes!!!!! I'VE GOT BLOODY CRABS!!!!!!!!"

By the way, yesterday was Spike's 106th birthday. Unfortunately, he wasn't present at the time.

Originally Posted by Johnno1969

By the way, yesterday was Spike's 106th birthday. Unfortunately, he wasn't present at the time.

Well, he did tell us he was sick.

Originally Posted by Johnno1969

I'm pretty sure that about ten years ago in Bulawayo I saw a sign for an optometrist who did vasectomies. I took a photo.... Must try to find it...

that would be great to see!!

Originally Posted by Johnno1969

While we're on crabs...... I have never forgotten a part in one of Spike Milligan's books (one of the earlier war diaries) wherein soldiers were using "Unction Blue" to treat crabs. A bloke went into a pharmacist's to see if he could discreetly get some. When he very quietly enquired over the counter, whoever was serving said "What?? Unction Blue??????" - so he shouted back "Yes!!!!! I'VE GOT BLOODY CRABS!!!!!!!!"

By the way, yesterday was Spike's 106th birthday. Unfortunately, he wasn't present at the time.

I always remember a bit of graffiti from a London public loo :" Dont brother to stand on the toilet seat, our crabs can jump 10 feet"

Originally Posted by Johnno1969

I'm pretty sure that about ten years ago in Bulawayo I saw a sign for an optometrist who did vasectomies. I took a photo.... Must try to find it...

No...hang on!! I have just remembered! It wasn't vasectomies. It's even better.

Though I haven't found the photo yet..... I remember now it said something along the lines of "CIRCUMCISION AT EYE DOCTOR".

I've found the photo. I may as well put it in the "Interesting, Odd or Funny Pics" thread....

Stand by.

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