Thread: Local Electrical Meter Reader meets Monty Python - She is a witch...

G'day All,

For the last three meter reading periods we have received a notification that the local electrical provider could only provide an estimated meter reading. This is because there were access issues with the meter. It being an older Queensland the meter box is on the front wall of the house which forms the inside boundary of the verandah. Since getting a ragdoll cat I screened along the outside verandah deck line straight up to the roof. I fixed a security screen door. When we get a notification that the meter reader is coming in the next couple of days I make sure that the keys are left in the screen door so the meter reader can gain access - regardless of whether I am home or not. By the way - I work remotely - from home. So I am home most of the time.

To open the screen door one key must be turned clockwise from 12:00 o'clock to 2:00 o'clock. Below this key is a lever handle that must be pushed down to unlatch that part of the door. Then the door must be pushed open. Due to the prior notice of an impending meter reading the keys are in the screen door from 8:00 am to close to midnight. Plenty of time for the meter reader to stroll by. After including photographs of the key in the lock and describing how the door was unlocked I sent an email to the local electrical providers to let them know how to gain access to the meter.

Over the past three meter reading cycles I was only away from home once. The other times I have not heard anyone call out. Or in fact open the gate. It is a rural metal gate that is 2.4 metres wide. It has a chain latch and it makes an easily heard noise when someone opens or closes and latches the gate. The noise also makes our dog bark. Nor, has there been anyone blowing their car's horn to attract my attention - other than the mail contractor - when there is a parcel to drop off.

Well imaging my surprise when I receive an email back from the local energy provider stating that it is not an issue with the meter reader not being very dexterous with the screen door. No the access issue relates to the fact that the meter reader cannot ascertain whether our dog is restrained. Therefore, the meter reader does not enter the property. Apparently they are also mute as well. As mentioned previously - former meter readers have called out. Or tapped on their car's horn to attract my attention.

Now a bit about our dog. It stays inside the house with me. When I go out in the house yard or the paddocks the dog comes with me. If I am away from home the dog is secured in a specially built compound with a high fence that is located in the back yard. So while I am not at home the dog is restrained. However, because the compound is at the back of the house someone looking in from the road cannot see that the dog is in its compound - restrained.

Are there times when the dog is unrestrained? Yes... about 0.5 percent or less of the time. For instance, I am outside and need to get something from inside the house I go and get it. For the period I am retrieving the item - the dog sits at the bottom of the steps at the back door. Yes, sometimes I have gone inside the house and for a small period of time I have become distracted and not returned immediately outside. In a very short period of time I notice the dog's absence and apologise to him and either go back outside or let the dog back into the house. Can I write that the dog is restrained 100 percent of the time? No, I cannot due to that 0.5 percent of occurrences.

Yes, I also follow the phrase, "The gun is always loaded and the horse will always kick, and .... the dog always bites". Given a particular circumstance even the most docile and well behaved dog can bite someone. My dog has not - however there is no exception to my following the previously mentioned phrase.

Now apparently just in case it is that 0.5 percent of the time where the dog is possibly unrestrained the meter reader supposedly gets out of their car ... I doubt that they actually do... then they must stand at the gate waiting for evidence of an unrestrained dog to come to the gate. Because a dog does not come to the gate there must be an unrestrained dog on the premises. So they quietly turn away - without indicating that they are at the gate or somewhere along the front fence. By the way until it has gotten cooler all the front doors of the house have been open and people on the footpath are both easily seen and heard. So after the protracted wait for no unrestrained dogs coming to the gate - ergo there must be an unrestrained dog somewhere lurking around - we are noted down as having an unrestrained dog and we get the third estimated meter reading in a row.

Now to the Monty Python bit - there is a sketch where they place a parsnip on a woman's nose and because there is a parsnip on the person's nose - they must be a witch. Same as tying stones to a woman and then throwing them into a dam. If they drown they were not a witch. Or in the scientific method used by Sir Bedivere - if the woman weights the same as a duck - that can float on water - they must be a witch. So if you are a meter reader and no dog comes up to the gate where you are waiting at - then there must be an unrestrained dog on the property. Tomorrow I am going to be putting a parsnip on my dog's nose! Here is a link to the scientific method of determining witches ... Accessed 12th of May 2023 from, Scientific Method explained using Monty Python's "We Found A Witch" - YouTube

Kind regards
Lionel

For our water and gas I take photos of the meters and submit them on the appropriate providers ap.

Smart meter does not need to be accessible, ours is never visited so I put a Double gate up in front of it as extra security to shed and meter access is blocked. Not a problem.