Thread: Age and Automatic Assumptions that are so taken for granted it is not thought about

Hello All,

In summary, when you are younger you hear expressions such as "learn to live your life without regrets"; or "make the most out of your life". At the time these expressions are given less time in your thoughts than Hector' the cat's advice about how to cross the road did when you were even younger. Fast forward through life and a point is reached - well if you did actually heed Hector the cat's advice about how to safely cross the road - when the old expression to "live your life without regrets" has you reviewing your past and triggers thoughts about your future. Now if you are going 'who the hell is Hector the cat?" then you will soon forget about reading this post. Alternatively, if you do know who Hector the cat is - then you may soon forget about ever reading this post...

Okay, I will make this easy for you... Accessed 16th of September 2023 from Hector the Cat - Road Safety TVC - YouTube
See, now you have either 1) learned something new today, or 2) you have remembered something... Regardless of which of these alternatives applies to you - at least when you come across the next road intersection you will know what to do ...

Kind regards
Lionel

Hello All,

You may be wondering what has got me thinking so morbidly? I suppose there were three underlying triggers that occurred during my drive home yesterday from Gladstone. How my having any form of future, through no fault of my own, could have been taken out of my hands. Now this was within a 2 hr 17 min (191 km) drive. They boil down to: the authorities directing traffic on a 100 km/hr section of national highway located after a bend, during the afternoon when school term finished, should have known better. Having the Police car placed in the middle of the stream of stopped cars and directing traffic is not as effective as having a rolling patrol keeping ahead of the ever increasing line of stopped cars. To elaborate ... hmmm that car and trailer at the designated safe distance mark is slowing down .... adjust speed accordingly ... no they are not slowing down every one in front of us has come to a dead stop. Hmmm now I am tail-end Charlie and the other cars coming behind me might not follow the safe travelling between vehicle rule. Especially when they do not know that there is actually a stream of traffic stopped just around the bend. Fair to say I did not just rely on my hazard lights. I wound the side window down and waved my arm around like a person possessed to attract the attention of people coming around the corner - rating 'mild annoyance' - which I know from observing past news headlines - being tail end Charlie in this situation can have very dire consequences.

I do have to take the time to acknowledge the professionalism of the semi-trailer drivers who were driving on the opposite side of the two lane highway. They must have been on their radios and they knew about the hazard. Each semi had their hazard lights on and slowed down well before the hazard to warn all the drivers behind them. Unfortunately for myself and other drivers on my side of the road there were no trucks in front of us.


2) later my encounter with another driver that may have been fatigued when they decided to swing their horse float and four-wheel drive into the overtaking lane without checking their mirrors.

3) I am still trying to work out a polite way to describe the person who was in the front of a queue at the terminated side of a T intersection. They see a white Commodore wagon with its headlights on coming towards them. They start to drive forward ... baulk ... stop ... and then decide to continue through the intersection and drive out in front of said white Commodore. Meanwhile said white Commodore is throwing every form of brake or possible anchor on - without losing control of said white Commodore.

These incidences all happening within a very small span of time somehow changes your perspective. I can honestly write that if I did not have such an extensive driving experience and did not know how to handle my car then these posts might not have been written. Each one of my current and prior forms of employment have entailed me driving on rural roads providing services to clients or inspecting facilities within a rural area. Where driving plays a large part of my employment so I have subsequently clocked up a fair amount of hours on the road. I am very glad that myself and my good old Commodore arrived home in one piece.

The irony of it all was that I was coming home after spending some quality time with a friend that I do not get to see very often. I had also just left a networking lunch-time meeting with someone I had previously only exchanged text or email messages with. The outcome of the meeting could prove to be very promising towards my future endeavours.

It does get one thinking though ... Be safe out there people...

Kind regards
Lionel

Hi,
Thanks for the thoughts. Yes, mortality, remaining savings, and the bucket list often loom large.
Unfortunately the lawn keeps growing, and various retirement projects seem to take way more time these days. Not to mention the amazing weight gain a barrow of dirt has achieved this decade.
Still, the thoughts and plans with various maps and possible trips are on the computer. The Landy is is in good running order and we can still climb up to the camper.
Now; I really should book a spot on the ferry!
Cheers

Well, learned something today - never heard of Hector the cat before. Perhaps because I grew up before television, or perhaps in the wrong state.

But I did learn a related jingle from the radio - "look to the left and look to the right, and you'll never get run o-o-ver!". Reinforced by teaching at school to "stop, look right, look left, look right again, cross if safe".

I think there are a few points of view around regarding regrets. I have found that when talking to older people, ie twice my age or more when I was younger, that they mostly had regrets about the things they did NOT do. Funny thing is, when I told my mom that a few years ago she immediately said "well I do have regrets about things I did do. Perhaps a female perspective or something else, not sure.

Not wanting to hijack your thread, allow me to share the story of how I got where I am today. First off, where am I today? In a rented bungalow because I sold my house at the peak of the covid housing madness down here and working 70+hrs a week for the past 2 years with near as makes no difference 1 year left to go. I made those decisions so that I and my lady can embark on a 5 year round-the-world trip start next september (was supposed to be this year but let me not digress). How did I get here you might ask, because in effect I am killing my career stepping out for so long and on my age it will be more difficult to re-enter the job market.

Up till some ten years ago I had a number of hobbies and as that goes in life, I would come across other hobbies that sparked my interest as I met new friends and so on but I would have to reign in my enthusiasm and would often be heard saying "I'll pick that up when I am a pensioner". That same year 10 years ago though I good friend of mine, 60 years young had to go to a research hospital very close to where a worked at that time. He came to me and asked: "what is the quickest way to get there with all tohse traffic jams in the morning" I simply told him: "be here tomorrow morning and I'll take you mate". I dropped him off and went on to my job and at the end of the day picked him up, using the normal "humor" we always used with each other "mate, I bought 6 planks and a box of nails, they are in the back so you know". He as always smiled and went along, at that stage probably dazed confused and in deep denial "yeah, ALS so you'll have to store them for 2 years". That trip home was surreal. Within one year he passed away.

He could not accept his fate (I would have trouble with that as well mind you) and for his surroundings his death or better the path to it was no fun, it never is, but this made it harder imho. The thing is, he just handed the reigns of his business to his son and was stepping down and doing the things he loved to do. His workshop filled with woodworking machinery is still collecting dust to this day. His widow can't sell it.

This was a wake-up call for me: I am no longer going to postpone things till I am pensioner, if I want to do things, I am doing them NOW. Fear has held me back far to long and to often and there is no doubt in my mind that I will have to work hard again after I return to pick up a life, fill my pension gap, etc. etc. but I best do things now because God knows if I am even going to make it till that pension!

So, I consider myself "lucky" that I was in a very bad place 10-15 years ago which made me more... receptive to live lessons and I guess lucky that this friend had passed away so that I learned this lesson whilst still relatively young. I hardly ever miss an evening that I do not tell my girl good night and that I love her. (only when one of us is so sick that we sleep through the day and such exceptions). Living here, now. I find it hard at times and I fail at it as well but hey nobody ever said it was easy.

Cheers,
-P

I don't tend to have regrets as I view most things in terms of pros and cons, so for every time I think I should've done that, I think but then something else wouldn't have happened. I am however planning to retire early as I have seen a few people die while still working age or not have many years of retirement before problems set in, and my engineer mate who retired a few years early still highly recommends it nearly 20 years later. Also, both my parents died early, I have already outlived my mother and have only a few years to go to outlive my father, so I think I'd regret dying while still working like they did.

Originally Posted by prelude

I think there are a few points of view around regarding regrets. I have found that when talking to older people, ie twice my age or more when I was younger, that they mostly had regrets about the things they did NOT do. Funny thing is, when I told my mom that a few years ago she immediately said "well I do have regrets about things I did do. Perhaps a female perspective or something else, not sure.

Not wanting to hijack your thread, allow me to share the story of how I got where I am today. First off, where am I today? In a rented bungalow because I sold my house at the peak of the covid housing madness down here and working 70+hrs a week for the past 2 years with near as makes no difference 1 year left to go. I made those decisions so that I and my lady can embark on a 5 year round-the-world trip start next september (was supposed to be this year but let me not digress). How did I get here you might ask, because in effect I am killing my career stepping out for so long and on my age it will be more difficult to re-enter the job market.

Up till some ten years ago I had a number of hobbies and as that goes in life, I would come across other hobbies that sparked my interest as I met new friends and so on but I would have to reign in my enthusiasm and would often be heard saying "I'll pick that up when I am a pensioner". That same year 10 years ago though I good friend of mine, 60 years young had to go to a research hospital very close to where a worked at that time. He came to me and asked: "what is the quickest way to get there with all tohse traffic jams in the morning" I simply told him: "be here tomorrow morning and I'll take you mate". I dropped him off and went on to my job and at the end of the day picked him up, using the normal "humor" we always used with each other "mate, I bought 6 planks and a box of nails, they are in the back so you know". He as always smiled and went along, at that stage probably dazed confused and in deep denial "yeah, ALS so you'll have to store them for 2 years". That trip home was surreal. Within one year he passed away.

He could not accept his fate (I would have trouble with that as well mind you) and for his surroundings his death or better the path to it was no fun, it never is, but this made it harder imho. The thing is, he just handed the reigns of his business to his son and was stepping down and doing the things he loved to do. His workshop filled with woodworking machinery is still collecting dust to this day. His widow can't sell it.

This was a wake-up call for me: I am no longer going to postpone things till I am pensioner, if I want to do things, I am doing them NOW. Fear has held me back far to long and to often and there is no doubt in my mind that I will have to work hard again after I return to pick up a life, fill my pension gap, etc. etc. but I best do things now because God knows if I am even going to make it till that pension!

So, I consider myself "lucky" that I was in a very bad place 10-15 years ago which made me more... receptive to live lessons and I guess lucky that this friend had passed away so that I learned this lesson whilst still relatively young. I hardly ever miss an evening that I do not tell my girl good night and that I love her. (only when one of us is so sick that we sleep through the day and such exceptions). Living here, now. I find it hard at times and I fail at it as well but hey nobody ever said it was easy.

Cheers,
-P

Hello -P,

No hijack at all. In fact it is a grand segue to something I was thinking about posting while I was loading my trailer for a trip to the scrap-metal recyclers. No, not Land Rover parts. I find myself standing at a cross roads... no not the Robert Johnson type of crossroads either. On one side is the opportunity to play 'safe' and follow through with the lure of full-time permanent work. While I work for a boss. The other road is one that I have commenced the journey down a couple of times beforehand. Then I have baulked, turned tail and ran back towards the 'safe' path. This December will see 61 years of age click over on the clock. I, and five other of my former contract workers are only working two days a week since our full-time contracts finished at the end of the financial year. I have tried to monetise my PhD thesis and offer my services as a consultant before. Then last July I was offered a 2 day a week job that within a fortnight had become a full-time role. Subsequently, the first tentative steps into self-employment were mothballed.

Some of the opportunities I can pursue involve embarking to different third world countries. Then once stepping of the commercial flight being greeted by a less than roadworthy for wheel drive and going off on roads less travelled. Travelling to places located well off the tourist routes. Places where if things go wrong you find yourself a very - very long way from home. I worked very hard to get my PhD and I achieved it against a lot of odds and obstacles. Do I take the safe employment route? I have been thinking more recently that this is the lazy way out. Or do I commit myself and take the road less travelled and leave safety behind? Oh well, I have followed Rudyard Kipling's lead and 'and build ’em up with worn-out tools' more than once in my life. I do not want to find myself in years time wondering what might have happened if I had not played the safe route. Looks like it is time to consider stepping onto the field of pitch-and-toss again. In an effort to, 'fill the unforgiving minute; With sixty seconds’ worth of distance run' ... apologies to Rudyard Kipling and the poem If accessed 16th September 2023 from If— by Rudyard Kipling | Poetry Foundation Oh and some 'borrowed' parts of Robert Frost's The Road Not Taken

... I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less travelled by,
And (sorry Robert ... I hope ... ) that has made all the difference.
- accessed The Road Not Taken by Robert Frost | Poetry Foundation

Hmm ... can I heard the sound of a blues guitar .... Robert Johnson - Robert Johnson's Cross Road Blues (Official Video) - YouTube

Kind regards
Lionel

Conversely Lionel, I've generally taken the safe(ish) path.
With mundane responsibilities such as family, mortgage and all the usual obligations that come with such, it was the sensible option.
I look at my kids and their kids and don't regret my decisions.

As to the sudden reasons alerting you to your mortality, I wish I had a dollar for every motorist whose mortality has been prolonged thanks to my skills. Seventy tonne plus is rather unforgiving.