Thread: a 58 year old gran

It sucks, Des. It's all the way of life, but it still sucks. Hope you aren't doing it alone, even though I know you are.

Thoughts with you.

Originally Posted by 4bee

Thank you Brad. Still quite shell shocked atm & in that dreadful place of being between the Death & the Funeral on Friday a.m.

We did Dads memorial last Friday. With Stage 4 lung cancer, we had 2 and a half years to get used to the idea though. Can't offer you anything other than "good vibes" from here, but you can have as many of those as you want.

Originally Posted by BradC

With Stage 4 lung cancer, we had 2 and a half years to get used to the idea though. .

Does that help? Serious. I got six weeks with Jan. I'm not sure longer would have been better, but I honestly don't know.

Originally Posted by Tins

Does that help? Serious. I got six weeks with Jan. I'm not sure longer would have been better, but I honestly don't know.

Hi John I don't think any time you have makes it any easier, you lose your sole mate the pain is the same. I know where you are coming from. People say to hold on to the memories, but I have to say there is nothing that can take the place of have them with you. Heather

Originally Posted by Tins

Does that help? Serious. I got six weeks with Jan. I'm not sure longer would have been better, but I honestly don't know.

What it did do was give us time to dot all the "i"s and cross all the "t"s. We took the first year to get all his affairs in order so we knew Mum was going to be sorted and we had a handle on everything. We also had stacks of time to talk about what he wanted for his memorial. His last 7 weeks were in Hospice, and he had people fly in from all over the world to say their goodbyes. I got to say all I wanted to say and hear all he wanted me to hear. My brother had a bucket list of things he wanted to do with dad, so he worked through those. I'd done everything I wanted to do when I wanted it, so I was sorted.

My brother and mother are taking it a lot harder than I am. Having watched cancer take my son, when dad was diagnosed 3 months later I was a bit more philosophical about it because this is the natural order. Your parents raise you, get old and die before you do (or that's the logical order anyway). Dad was only 77 so his was an early departure, but he's also had an amazing life, done everything he wanted to do (except live to be 108) and had plenty of fun.

So I don't know. A couple of weeks before Dad died my friends dad pretty much dropped dead. He was 90 but no warning. Watching the family scramble to try and sort out the farm and finances kinda makes me wonder. On the flip side, it turns out he had more cancer in his head than Dad did, but didn't know. So he lived a full life and went with no warning. Which is better? I don't think anyone can answer that one.

Originally Posted by Tins

Does that help? Serious. I got six weeks with Jan. I'm not sure longer would have been better, but I honestly don't know.

IMHO the longer time is a bit better as you get used to the idea, rather being suddenly hit with a Rideon Mower etc. Diagnosis & treatment started about a year ago albeit it was a cockup "Eat more fat,"to address the obvious weight loss & "Now you can buy some new clothes" " GPs with Covid & leave, & **** knows what else & usually difficult to arrange an Appointment & so on.

Even when it was obvious she looked about 8 mths Pregnant which led to routine draining of her abdomen weekly, which meant a day & night in hospital. Two days later she felt a bit more comfortable then it was time to go back again.

Then the sole Kidney started breaking down (kidney, because she had one removed in the sixties)

A good day to remember her in future D-Day 6th of June was the day she passed away with Ca.

Originally Posted by 4bee

.....A good day to remember her in future D-Day 6th of June was the day she passed away with Ca.

Sorry to hear that Des and I hope your newly minted barrister granddaughter can help you with all the legal stuff should you need it.

Originally Posted by RANDLOVER

Sorry to hear that Des and I hope your newly minted barrister granddaughter can help you with all the legal stuff should you need it.

Thank you Rand.

She lives in Sinney but so easy these days to communicate if necessary. One day at a time is what I am hearing at the mo.

Sorting out hard copy photos doesn't help but has to be done to ensure the "valuable" ones are kept.
There must be about 10 million B&W & ditto colour snaps that I don't know why we kept them of o/seas trips & images of people that no-one can recognise now. Count the $ now & I could have bought a late model Ferrari/or summat at the time of processing.
Ahhh, what can you do?

Burn the lot now I suppose.