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Proudly showing off her newly leased downtown apartment to a couple of friends late one night, a drunk blonde led the way to her bedroom where there was a big brass gong hanging on the wall.
"What's that big brass gong for?" one of the friend's asked.
"Issss nod a gong. Issss a talking clock" she drunkenly replied.
"A talking clock - seriously?"
"Yup." "Hmmm (hic)."
"How's it work?" the second friend asked, squinting at it.
"Just watch" she said.
She picked up a hammer, gave the gong an 'ear-shattering bash ' and stepped back. Her three mates stood looking at one another for a moment in astounded silence.
Suddenly, a voice from the other side of the wall screamed "For f*#k's sake you stupid b i t c h it's 3am
Last edited by sclarke; 11th April 2007 at 08:44 PM.
Master
lol
hahhahah nice one mate
SysAdmin (Owner)
ROFLing....
2007 Discovery 3 SE7 TDV6 2.7
2012 SZ Territory TX 2.7 TDCi
"Make the lie big, make it simple, keep saying it, and eventually they will believe it." -- a warning from Adolf Hitler
"If you don't have a sense of humour, you probably don't have any sense at all!" -- a wise observation by someone else
'If everyone colludes in believing that war is the norm, nobody will recognize the imperative of peace." -- Anne Deveson
“What you leave behind is not what is engraved in stone monuments, but what is woven into the lives of others.” - Pericles
"We can ignore reality, but we cannot ignore the consequences of ignoring reality.” – Ayn Rand
"The happiness of your life depends upon the quality of your thoughts." Marcus Aurelius
ChatterBox
nice one
a blonde is sitting at home by herself trying to do a jigsaw puzzle. out of desperation, she rings her boyfriend to come over and help her. "there's so many pieces and i don't know where to start" she says. her boyfriend says, "well, there's usually a picture of it on the box, does that give you any hint?"
"yeah, there's a picture of a big rooster, but all the pieces look the same".
knowing how hard these things can be, he decides to go around there and give her a hand to shut her up.
she leads him inot the kitchen where she has the pieces strewn all over the kitchen table. "see what i mean?, where do i start?"
"well" he says, "i think the first thing we should do is put all the corn flakes back in the box"
LAND ROVER;HELPING PUT OIL BACK IN THE GROUND FOR 70 YEARSCARS DON'T GET ANY "GREENER" THAT.
They are great, in my old flat in Noble park, the old biddy nest door use to be like that.
You could talk to her during the day and she couldnt hear a word you said but if you dropped a pin at night she would bang on the wall with her walking stick.
So being young and stupid we would just turn the TV up and up and up until she knocked on the door and then we would turn it off and open the door like we had been asleep.
Wizard
Year ago, serving in the Navy, a mate and I had a flat just off Kings Cross. Dear old biddy one floor up, must have loved her tea. That Bl&$y kettle whistled from sun up to sun down. Took a couple of days to hear the bloke on the top floor banging away on his drum set, we took the cue. The mate and I set up our amplifiers, and started banging out some 12 bar blues. Windows open of course, because we had to hear the drummers beat.
Shorty.
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