now thats a great valid point ..........Quote:
Originally Posted by simonl8353
i know i always make sure my older boys always tell me who they are hanging around with
they seem to have a good bunch of mates beside them
well at this stage:angel:
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now thats a great valid point ..........Quote:
Originally Posted by simonl8353
i know i always make sure my older boys always tell me who they are hanging around with
they seem to have a good bunch of mates beside them
well at this stage:angel:
Kids think parents just drop out a tree fully grown, they dont think we have done the hard yards too, naturally he thinks I am being totally unreasonable, he said I am a teenager, we do silly things. My immediate reply @#$*&#%@R#@%!*& stuff your @$*&@% car, then I said how would u have felt if you had a prang and killed someone, nup couldnt see the error of his ways, was here I walked away coz i wanted to floor the bugger, even now I am still wearing the cranky pants, stuffed if I know, tomorrows another day.
my oldest boys just tells me .............
i dont care :twisted::twisted::twisted::twisted:
thats gets my blood on the boil
To answer Rons question, the car was crap box I picked up cheap through a mate, supposed to have a stuffed head gasket, we dragged it home, I worked on these for ten years and know them like the back of my hand, I have three teenagers, one nearly 18 one were hoping will make 17 the other is only a young mummys boy, the older one has no desire to drive so hes easily fixed but the middle boy was always destined to be independent, I didnt want him going out in the world without knowing the in and outs of a car and he could save himself money as time went on, so we gradually pulled it to bits, the head gasket was ok the thermostat was seiezed, taught him how to do a service and change plugs etc, he aquired a stereo so I taught him the electrical basics, this was sposed to try and enhance our relationship and things were looking brighter the last few months and I was actualy starting to think he might be maturing then pulled this stunt, so back to square one,
Thats a good story Pete, you know where I am at, hes been to the copshop several times in 3 years, I have attended 5 official cautions and statements, he was tuned everytime, really made no difference to this one, then last year he really did the wrong thing and ended up in court and now hes on a bond, the thing is they play these computor games where they shoot and out drive cops ina game situation and they become totally desensitised to Police to the stage they have no respect or fear of them, I just cant put any authority on this child he just wont take it, his usual reply is to get all huffy and try and put one over me, knowone puts anything over a 200 plus kilo bouncer, I have run out of ideas ,I have tried the therapy thing, couldnt get him to go, cant really make him.
It seems interesting that the "I have rights" (but no responsibilty) generation has been created by do-gooder teachers and would be social engineers.
The writing has been on the wall for yonks and yet we seem to be getting softer and more desensitised to this sort of behaviour. I am only 49 but can remember getting a few good clips around the ear from my old man and clearly remember the local cops "having a quiet word" to some of the lads in my district.
I am not advocating flogging kids but the occasional swift kick in the rear end does them the world of good.
I agree with putting his stuff out on the street and selling the car in front of him. May teach him that there are indeed consequences attached to these sorts of actions.
I was a wild child. 14 to 19 years old was the worst of my behavior. Married at 19, somehow completed my apprentiship as a diesel fitter. Wont discuss the things I did but had little respect for any one or any thing. My parents a wonderful loving people that gave me room to make mistakes, made me take responsability for my mistakes but still supported me in my times of need.
Now all those years later at 47, still married to the same women, 3 kids between ages 20 to 28 that over time have given me less grief than I gave my parents but at time have gave me some grief. I think some of us just need more room to grow than others, regardless of what my familily do I will be there for each and every one of them, there will be times when I may not be proud but I will still be there. I have over the years had a lot of wild kids look to me for support and most of them now have families and have moved one from there past. I suppose what I am trying to say is some of us are just wild children and with time and support we will become great members of our communities
dont give up on them
cheers
blaze
I was a rat bag and the thing about kids is they think there invincable I did any way. I use to grab the old mans keys to his ZJ fairlane which was a V8 and and take of for a thrushing, its how I tought my self to drive so I thought. one day my perents got a knock on the door by police asking where there car keys are. dad apperently said right here on the key hook, ha ha but where they? NO because I took his fairlane and drove it up a tree and legged it with a mate trying to make it out as if the car was stolen mmmmmm with the keys left in the ignition good one.
got charged by the cops for auto theft being a minor it was dropped, the law has been good to me now that I am an adult I think there to soft
the point is trying to impress mates for a teenager is way stronger then trying to impress perents
As for the skenk as you put getting your end wet is just as important get the wife to befriend the skenk as much as she can to read if the girls on contracptives last thing you want is the kid to be a dad as he matures he will realise she a skenk and will move on as long as he isnt TIED DOWN
hang in there I have a daughter who is 3 but wont be three for ever sad but true the moment she brings a boy home I intend on walking around the house in the nud to scare him off ehehehehehe :angel: or the shot gun
Perhaps it's as simple as removing all rights and priveladges to the car and washing machine. If need be remove parts so that they don't work till he earns the right to use them?
What ever you choose to do as a consequence - be sure to follow through.
I'm not a parent, but I am surrounded by psychologists, and the one thing I hear over an over again is that being consistent is the key. If you say you're going to sell the car, make sure you do it, and don't cave in under any circumstances. The flip side is, don't threaten to do anything you are not actually prepared to do. Kids note this and it just further diminishes your authority in the future.