Things I've learnt.....

Oh mate this is all too much, so damn funny :D:D:D:D

I liked the one about the f-16 and the C-130. Good work with all these posts, extremely funny

Cheers!
Andy.

ethical dilemma




This test only has one question, but it's a very important one. By
giving an honest answer, you will discover where you stand morally.

The test features an unlikely, completely fictional situation in which
you will have to make a decision.

Remember that your answer needs to be honest, yet spontaneous.

You are in Darwin, NT to be specific. There is chaos all around you
caused by a cyclone with severe flooding. This is a flood of biblical
proportions. You are a photojournalist working for a major newspaper,
and you're caught in the middle of this epic disaster. The situation is
nearly hopeless. You're trying to shoot career-making photos. You only
have limited film, There are houses and people swirling around you,
some disappearing under the water. Nature is unleashing all of its
destructive fury.

Suddenly you see a man floundering in the water. He is fighting for his
life, trying not to be taken down with the debris. You move closer ?
somehow the man looks familiar. You suddenly realise who it is. It's
Kevin RUDD. At the same time you notice that the raging waters are
about to pull him under.

You have two options --- you can save the life of "Kev" or you
can shoot a dramatic Pulitzer Price winning photo, documenting the death
of the Australian Prime Minister.




So here's the question, and please give an honest answer:

Would you select high contrast colour, or would you go with the classic
simplicity of black and white?




digger

Although I think the Black and white would really grab the drama of Kev's Demise I would have to go with the high contrast color, :D:D:D i love it, nice

Cheers!
Andy.

Only oldfarts need read this one.

Never leave the haemeroid cream in the same drawer as the toothpaste or in the next drawer down with the dencorub.

I "borrowed" this from another site, but believe it is appropriate here...

You know you own a land rover when….
When you occasionally find rust flakes in your ears.
* If you keep these strange Imperial-thread bolts in your pocket in case the dashboard falls off.
* If WD40 has a higher priority on the household budget than milk. :o
* When your husband starts referring to you as "my ex-", although you are still married.
* If your bathtub bears a sign: "Not suitable for engine blocks".
*:twisted:
* If even Elizabeth girls turn you down after they`ve seen your car.
* If 10 kgs of of prime top soil fall on the roadway when you smack your door shut
* If you store K&N air filter cleaning liquid under the kitchen sink because you need it so often
* When you drive in shorts in the flemish winter to avoid wet jeans.
* If nobody parks next to you on a Saturday supermarket parking lot
* If only the African immigrants gladly greet you in town
* If your kitchen table shows marks of engine blocks.
* When you can't find any clothes without battery acid holes or engine oil stains
* If you wonder why it smells so funny if you throw a cig butt on the floor of a rental car
* If you start every conversation in the vehicle with "one, two, test" to check the intercom
* When even Russians don't believe your truck is only 20 years old
* When there are more tools in the truck than in your house
* If you think it's essential to carry 20 litres of water at all times, even in Tasmania
* If the only two shops you know in town are the parts dealer and the tool shop
* When you decide on weekend plans in bed and the alternatives are grease-up or fix the radiator
* If you buy rear mirrors in bulk at the farmer's supply shop

* When the GPS in your vehicle has the main purpose to replace the speedo and odometer
* When you are surprised that the roadworthy mentions the condition of your seats in the report
* If you wonder why the moss in your truck's inner window sills is greener than your lawn
* When you are used to switch off headlights before indicating right because they interfere
* If all your jacket pockets and belt loops are torn by LR door locks
* When you find a carburettor between salt and pepper in the kitchen
* When a Russian women observes 'these are not women's hands' and someone adds 'just don't ask her what she has been repairing this time...'
* When your friends steal imperial sockets for you as a wedding present
* When your handbag contains pliers, multimeter, Swisstool, insulation tape, 30 amps fuses, compass, imperial bolts and a torch
* If you only dare to use the coin operated car wash on a dark Sunday night
* If friends don't want you to show up in the afternoon because they got visitors but then they call you at 8 AM on a Sunday morning when they're stuck in the forest.
* when other girls give you a 1 1/8" socket as a present -and they know you love it!
* You can't decide whether to park on a hill in case your starter fails or on the flat in case your handbrake fails. :D:D:D
* You put your coat on as you get INTO your car.
* You keep degreaser in the shower.
* When you borrow your Mums 1litre Holden Barina it feels like a sports car.
* You get lent to elderly relatives and their friends to get the compost from the garden centre. Two tonnes at a time.
* Your friends all want to ride in your car if you're going less than three miles. If you're travelling more than three miles, they volunteer to walk.
* Your mates laugh at your car until theirs needs pulling out of a ditch.
"If, whilst driving, you frequently turn down the volume of the stereo .... to check for new noises"
*You stop at a petrol station to top up oil and to check the petrol level
*Your washing machine never gets unemployed
*Your favourite books are the parts catalogue and the repair operation manual
* the wife says “its me or that thing” and she takes one look at you and starts packing
* I can trust my husband: if he stays out all night long it's because he's stuck in the forest and not because of another women
* When you don't worry when your hubby says he takes out the Landy for half an hour and he doesn't come back all night long
* When you are buying dark nail varnish only to hide away black marks under the finger nails
* When you ask for "Epsom Green" when buying nail varnish
* When your living room looks like a scrap-yard
* When you find landy-bits all over your place (and I mean: ALL over the place!)
* When your dishwasher dies because of engine oil sediments
* When your house-owner asks you to stop putting Rangie-bits all over the cellar (but you don't know where to put them in the flat)
* Reps in nice shiny motorway cars laugh derisively except when it snows
* your driveway has an environmental health warning
* police officers shake your hand when they issue you a speeding ticket
* people in VW camper vans follow you so they can watch someone else break down
* everyone in the landy dealer knows you by name
* you have bulk discounts at the landy dealer parts counter
* When the men at The landrover wreckers know you better than your wife.
* When your wife say's the men at The landrover wreckers see you more.
* Other motorists laugh at your attempt at a 3 point turn in your Series 3 Land Rover.

this was (obviously) written by landrover lovers...I borrowed it but I reckon
most of it is fair dinkum!

Have a great day

digger

me again!!


after FOURGEARSTICKS gave us the "cream" advice...I felt old...so I thought What is Old?

"OLD" IS WHEN..... Your sweetie says, "Let's go upstairs and make love," and you answer, "Pick one, I can't do both!"


"OLD" IS WHEN.. Your friends compliment you on your new alligator shoes and you're barefoot.


"OLD" IS WHEN. A sexy babe catches your eye and your pacemaker opens the garage door.


"OLD" IS WHEN.... Going bra-less pulls all the wrinkles out of your face.


"OLD" IS WHEN..... You don't care where your spouse goes, just as long as you don't have to go along.


"OLD" IS WHEN..... You are cautioned to slow down by... The doctor instead of by the police.


"OLD" IS WHEN.... "Getting a little action" means I don't need to take any fibre today.


"OLD" IS WHEN..... "Getting lucky" means you find your land rover in the parking lot.


"OLD" IS WHEN..... An "all-nighter" means not getting up to pee




have a GREAT CHRISTMAS everyone!!

Digger

I know its not about Rover's and its along the lines of the F16 and C-130 post earlier.
Some years ago I met an ex WWII RAF Pilot, a kiwi, at an Air Cadet Dinner. This old guy had wanted to be a fighter pilot but due to reasons that he did not want to go into ended up as a Sunderland Pilot flying around the approaches to England rescuing downed pilots as well as escorting a number of lost fighters back to England. Apparently the fighter Jocks, some thing never change, use to give the Sunderlnd and Walrus pilots a fair bit of ribbing in the mess. This old guy said that their favourite stunt to put the fighter pilots in their place was to continuely throttle back as the Spits and Hurricanes would get close to them, as the Sunderlands stall speed is obviously considerably less than a fighters, in worse case they could land on the sea, the fighter could not.
The problem was that as the speed was reduced on the SUnderland below the stall speed of the fighter the fighter would fall out of the sky, a good pilot would recover from the stll and never rib the rescue pilots again.

Marry Xmas to all and your families
Kevin

A man walking along a Melbourne beach was deep in prayer. All of a sudden, he said out loud, "Lord, grant me one wish."



Suddenly the sky clouded above his head and in a booming voice the Lord said, "Because you have TRIED to be faithful to me in all ways, I will grant you

one wish." The man said, "Build a bridge to Tasmania so I can drive over anytime I want."



The Lord said, "Your request is very materialistic. Think of the enormous challenges for that kind of undertaking. The supports required to reach the bottom of the Ocean! The concrete and steel it would take! I can do it, but it is hard for me to justify your desire for worldly things. Take a little more time and think of another wish, a wish you think would honour and glorify me."



The man thought about it for a long time. Finally he said, "Lord, I wish that I could understand women. I want to know how they feel inside, what they are thinking when they give me the silent treatment, why they cry, what they mean when they say 'nothing', and how I can make a woman truly happy."



The Lord replied, "Do you want lights on that bridge?":o:D:D



cheers
digger

HAVE YOU ALL NOTICED WE HAVE COME TO
RELY ON COMPUTERS TOO MUCH FOR EVERYTHING?

For instance, are you a man or a woman?
Look down...



















































































Not on the computer - you idiot!!!


Cheers
digger

THIS MAKES THREE IN A ROW...SORRY:angel:

There are a lot of folks who can't understand how we came to have

an oil shortage here in Australia.



Well, there's a very simple answer

... nobody bothered to check the oil.

We just didn't know we were getting low.

The reason for that is purely geographical.

All our oil is in Bass Straight, outback SA., North West Shelf and

the Timor Sea.

......

.......

:D:DAll our dipsticks are in Canberra. :D:D