Thread: Got to use my favorite insult today...

Short version, just after jase left from having a look at the trailer I offered up for nix someone called work (this is about 2 hours after knock off) if I could come and jump start a landie for them.. I had a bout 20 minutes to spare and given that anywhere that can call the onbase number is less than 5 minutes away from work I decided what the hell Im a nice guy I'll go give them a hand, it beats sitting here being bored.

I asked them what they had done to try to start it had they checked the battery terminals, was the battery connected, did they try to jump start it...

the gist of the answers was that they couldnt find the battery so I grabbed a jump pack and off I spun expecting to find some nongie looking under the hood of the rover.

I got there, they had the hood up and the passanger door open, seat base out and the battery box opened... I found out when I got there that no, the battery wasnt flat it was missing...

After giving "You are so useless you couldnt find porn on the internet" I explained that If they had told me they didnt have a battery in the vehicle I could have bought out a spare fitted it and we'd be done but since I now have 10 minutes before catching a cab for a medical appointment I now cant do anything to help, Bye.

LATER....

In the cab the conversation had been spun onto fuel prices and cars and what was the better fuel to be using.. not long after I was talking about 12k/L out of big red he told me

"I can sell you something that will make it do even more"

guess what he was trying to sell me... no go on guess.... I'll give you a hint shall I?





















have you guessed?
















want the hint?






















It rhymes with cyclone.



















did you guess?


yes a hiclone...

after some substantial debate about how they couldnt possabley do a thing for a turbo charged intercooled diesel engine he endevoured to point out to me that he was getting 25K to the L out of it in the cab and he had one fitted... he tried to prove this to me by showing me the "economy meter" built into the cabs dash. Sure enough it read 25k/L. I asked him to switch the vehciel back over to petrol... he got very quiet about then and said but its soo much more effecient on Gas... I insisted that he should switch over to the petrol for the rest of the trip... after 10 minutes of arguing with me I hit him with IF you dont Im going to have you pull over, report you for soliciting and you wont get paid for the trip. He switched over


20 minutes later when we got to where we were going his economy meter was showing 8.4K/l while he was doing the paper work I unsubtley pointed out that at 8.4 k/l Its cheaper to run my rover paying top dollar for diesel even if I was only doing 10k/l which is about what I get when I drive laden in city traffic....

I also pointed out that as a mechanic Id seen the trick of duping the cars economy meter by occasionaly running it on petrol as when the car was on LPG the fuel still cycled through the pumps and sensors but none was used so the computer kept the average going over time... Been there Seen that.


thats my gripe for the day.

BATTERY EPISODE - well it was Friday

TAXI - Bugger has a captive audience doesn't he. What you experienced was NOTHING to what the taxi drivers are like here