Thread: The book, An introduction

Definitely would have been "wheelbarrow" during my time (67-87).

The other jaffle recipe I saw once when working with B Sqn 3 Cav Regt included ball bearings for a particularly obnoxious young officer. It was always good working with RAAC: they always ate well.

Thanks Blacknight: brought back lots of memories.

Terry

Ok I know I know I promised Id do windy and jaffles but someone asked about the nickname... so I'll do that first as its fairly short and sweet. So by my standards you should all be able to read it in say... an hour...

Firstup you need a little computer background to understand some of this so heres old school computer filenames 101...

back before we had windows there was this thing called DOS and it was simple it was effective and it worked, how well did it work? Ive had computers that run dos that have uptimes between crashes that was measureable as forever... thats right short of turning the computer off to add something to it, move it or to open it up to blow the dust out of the power supply and off of the boards it never crashed. Ok thats not quite true they did occasionally but only if you did something stupid to them or somehow managed to get a virus and since we pretty much predated most of the internet that was pretty rare and usually non catasrophic.

anyway dos was easy you could tell which version was better than the other as it had a bigger number behind it and generally the bigger the number the more memory it used but the more memory it could adress but you could still make a computer function on 512K of memory.. thats right 1/2 a megabyte but it had limitation including some big ones on filenames.... all the file and directory naming had to comply to what was known as the 8.3 standard which ment that you had 8 letters for the actual file name and 3 for the file extention.

the file extention would usually tell you what the file was things like .txt for a text file, .doc for a document, .exe or .com for a program. you get the idea...
anyway thats the basic histroy you need other than before the internet was big there were these things call BBS or Bulliten Board Services, these were basicaly stand alone servers that you could dial up on your 2400baud modem (later 9600, 14.4k 28.8k, 36.6k and eventually 56.6k) and swap files play online text adventures, gamble minutes (you paid for so many hours access which lasted till they ran out back then) and you were really carefull about what you would download as a 100K file would take about 10 minutes to get.


I can hear you screaming, wheres the relevence to the name.. well patients Im getting there, ITs like driveing a diesel series, youve got to warm up to it and then take it slow enjoy the scenery on the way cause your never going to get there quickly...

by chance I got a start with a guy who was running a BBS, nothing much in the grand scheme of things just do his virus scans, backups and make sure that no-one was doing anything underhand to beat the minute gambling systems and the name of the BBS was The Round Table. This guy was into the medievel stuff, camelot, knights of the round table King Athur that kind of stuff. had the most awesome collection of medievel weapons and armour IVe ever seen and it was at this point in my life that I learnt that I like axes.... especially double sided sharp ones where the edge trails back to the handle so its sort of like an axe head on a sword. All of the Administration logins for his site were based from medievel times so he was King Arthur his missus and the co boss was lady Gweniver and I was the Black knight.. The protector of the round table...

convert that to 8.3 and you get

KngArthr
LdyGwnvr
and
BlKnight

the .aus is something I came up with as a way of hiding my log files, not super difficult to find and work out but enough to keep the automated sniffers of the day at bay.


I kept it cause I liked it and its a throw back to my introduction to the IT world... (and I like to think that the history of the name suits me)

so because of a guy who liked old stuff who gave me a chance at being a geek when IT was just a fledgling proffession I got to be called Blknight.aus.

Blknight,

I take it that termites are engineers? (sappers)

Spanner wacker and IT hmm? a strange mix. Most geeks only extend to a leatherman for a tool kit.

Originally Posted by slug_burner

Spanner wacker and IT hmm? a strange mix. Most geeks only extend to a leatherman for a tool kit.

Don't confuse geeks with nerds. Most IT people are nerds. Geeks are more likely to wear a bowtie and really want to be physicists. As I heard a guy say during an intro to a speech "I got a physics degree but soon realised that if I wished to get paid, or get laid, I had to move to IT"

Having worked in IT for 23 years I assure you that there are plenty of nerds with extensive toolkits including the guys I currently work with: one who races in the Tassie Targa each year (amongst other things) who can pull many a car to pieces and put it back again, and one of my team leaders who is designing and building his sports car from scratch.

Originally Posted by slug_burner

Blknight,

I take it that termites are engineers? (sappers)

Spanner wacker and IT hmm? a strange mix. Most geeks only extend to a leatherman for a tool kit.

Termites are Terminal operators, essentially military specification warfies...

I might have to do a chapter for you........ remind me about it If I forget after Ive done

"jaffles and windy" "Nato Standard" and "Argue with your spouse..."

pfft, everyone knows Nato Standard= coffee, white and two, preferably served in mugs resembling kegs

One of my favorite places to holiday is a little bit of nowhere call windy harbour its a spot that last time i was there was still so far back in time that not only time forgot it but so did history. They didnt have mains power and most of the huts/shacks/houses dont have flushing toilets. I mean I just did a google on it and only managed to bring up a handfull of paragraphs that were relevent its that far out of touch... Its a bueatiful plave where a man could turn up driving a ratty old series rover and instead of the usualy disdane that it attracts from people in flashy cars you can feel proper and at home. ITs one of the few places that I feel quite happy saying "yep, this is my kind of place moving at my kind of speed" and to give that statement some depth remember I drive a two and a quater diesel series three.

its got that great rustic feel to the place... its cold and not surprisingly its windy.... so many nights you'll find yourself snuggled up by the wood fired stove with your ugg booted feet poking out from under the blanket nearer the warmth if your lucky you'll be there with a loved one...

now its true a man can live on love but eventually his belly will want something more. And usually it will be while its freezing cold that you'll hear these words "if you loved me you'd get me something nice to eat" the optimum time for this to be uttered is when it feels about 30 below and your thinking about climbing inside the freezer cause its got to be warmer in there. So you need to be able to make something thats easy to make, lets face it ladies in the kitchen most men can only find the fridge cause thats where the beer is, the pantry cause thats where you keep putting the pretzles and think that the tupperware cubboards and appliance draws are lke womens handbags. In theory we know what we should expect to find in there but we never want to find out in person and wouldnt know a soupe tureene from an olive fork so its in everyones interest to keep the time he spends in the kitchen to a minimum.

You need something thats quick to make at the end of a day a roast is a fairly simple thing to make but a 4 hour cook time? forget it. You also want something thats got a minimum of clean up If most blokes are like me dishes isnt something you do they're what the pay TV guys come round and install so I can get 400000 channels to flick though duing each others add breaks.


So you need something thats quick simple and leaves almost no prefreabley no dishes. you need a Jaffle. It appeals to the blokey side in full the preperation of one should be nearly a primevel experience the gathering of the raw matirials to build the fire to cook on, tearing and carving hunks of raw ingredients to stuff into the iron to be seared to perfection and thats without the side trip into fantasy land where you can see yourself as a black smith sweating over an old openside forge complete with leather apron hammer, tongs and anvil to hand make the Iron yourself.

theres lots of ways to make a jaffle but the basics are all the same, something hot,a jaffle iron, some bread, your main ingredients and about 5 minutes. Everyone will tell you about what goes into a jaffle to make the best jaffle but heres my secret, It doesnt matter so long as you keep a few of simple things in mind.

Firstly keep it simple less is more you only have so much space if you try to get too many flavors in they will fight with each other and overcomplicate it. Jaffles tend to mix all the flavors together a bit like taking a top deck block of chocolate and putting it in a microwave and stiring it... its just not the same.

Second dont use stuff thats too wet or too dry too dry and the thing will fall apart on you, your relying on some of the moisture to "melt" the bread where the iron squeezes the 2 pieces of bread together at the edges. Too dry and it wont seal up, too wet and it will go soggy while you're eating it, you're more liekly to burn your mouth on the liquid and you'll drip lots.

3rd dont worry if you burn the bread a little, just scrape the bread on the jaffle iron and the charcoal falls off leaving a perfectly edible jaffle

and finally.. NEVER WASH THE JAFFLE IRON... you may rinse it if it gets dirt or crud on it but the only way to clean it is with a batism of fire. Get a cranking hot fire going (or a gas ring) and get that thing roasting hard when all the moistures gone out of whatever was sticking to it if you tap the iron on something hard that wont melt most of the carbon will come out of it then wipe it with some cooking oil and let it cool then heat it up again... Do that a few times and you'll have sealed up the jaffle iron. The bread wont stick to it so your laughing... getting that bit rights a fine art but once youve got it providing you never use detergent or scourers on the iron it'll last forever. for more details look up seasoning a pot on the net.

for your ingredients you want to aim at 2 maybe 3 key ingredients and a sauce or sealer, if your using primarily dry ingredients (last nights roast with some mixed cold roast vegetables for example) you would want to add a sauce or sealer to put some moisture into the jaffle and you could use anything from a thick tomato sauce through to gravy.

Cheese is a great jaffle ingredient it almost always gets the bread to seal, it gives just the right amount of moisture and it carries flavour but you have to be carefull with it.. it bridges the gap of key ingredient and a sauce if you use it as a key ingredient count it as one and dont be shy with it 4 of those craft singles makes a full jaffle but if your using it as a sauce or sealer then you only need one slice tops.


ok so what makes it onto my top jaffles list...

the most complicated one I usually make is my breakfast jaffle its got ham(or bacon occasionally both depending on the prepwork) fried egg, onion and cheese as the primary ingredients I like this jaffle for a few reasons mostly it tastes great but its also fun to make when theres a few people around theres a bit of movement involved in making it so you look like your doing more than you are.. which does 2 things 1, it looks flashy sort of like those shows where they flip ingreints around like cotail makers and 2, it gets you moveing first thing in the morning and helps blow the cobwebs out.

next is the cheese and varients the jaffle at its simplest grab 2 pieces of bread, some cheese and something else be it a meat, vegetable or sauce slap it together heat it up and its done I like them cause they're simple and the cheese pretty much guarentees a properly sealed jaffle every time. remember if your using cheese as a key ingredient your pretty much limited to 1 other key ingredient my 2 goto varients for cheese and is "and tobasco"
and "and vegemite". 3 slices of coon sliced cheese the kind without the individual plastic wrappers with a wipe of either tobasco sauce or vegemite between each of the layers.


finally is the SPAM jaffle, that tinned meat is great stuff for jaffling it now comes in small tins that will make 2-3 jaffles without left overs and is wet enough to allow you to use it along with your other long term foods like onions and potoatoes without having to worry about a wet ingredient for moisture. A few brands are even pre flavoring it in the can.

The best thing about jaffles is this if you pick out your ingredients the meal before or you keep some stuff ready to jaffle theres no dishes except for maybe a knife and fork these things are the original MRE a package of food ready to eat. As for the knife and fork thing if your cooking on a fire lightly toast a piece of bread then wipe the knife/fork down with that then chuck it on the fire...

so whats so great about jaffles and windy harbour... simple really windys a place dad used to take us when we (dad, me sis and mum) were going on a short holiday and its the first real food thing that I remember dad teaching me to make from whoa to go starting with making the fire "just right" in the oven to picking ingredients and how to tell if a jaffle is cooked.

up next, with pictures and all is how to make my breakfast jaffle.

yeah yeah, its going to happen... Im not going to show you how to make my breakfast jaffle on this post Ive taken some pics of it but Im not going to do it now.. I have something more important to tell you about... no dont look shocked there are things more important in life than jaffles...


hrmmm maybe theres not but I already know the secret of my breakfast jaffle and youve survived so far without it a couple more days wont kill you, and if it was then you seriously need to give up the modeling business and come down to the pub with me for a countery and some beer...

want to know what Im going to tell you about... Im going to tell you about the secret to my happy mariage and I'll do free mechanicing for the rest of my life for you if you guess what it is before I tell you... Its arguments. (I know under handed of me to tell you what the answer was mere split seconds after I make the offer but do you know what a mechanic gets paid these days?)

Anyway you need to have arguments and they need to be good ones, if you dont wind up with phone calls from concerend neighbours and relatives in other states then your not doing it right... but the key is not taking them seriously.

me and SWMBO had a corker the other day... I mean I was right so totally and utterly right I started out with a safety thing that she doesnt do that I wish she would Put the sharp knives back in the block.. no she washes them and puts them in the dish rack or leaves them in the sink to be washed later. I should point out that my wife is not the most tool orientated person on the face of this planet I cant count the number of times shes come home with burn marks on her fingers from putting wax working tools in a flame and then touching her skin with them or getting distracted putting them down and picking them up by the hot end or even leaving them in the flame so long while shes distracted that she gets burnt... and thats not even going into the number of times shes nicked herself with a knife, fed her finger tips into a grinder like device or dropped things on her feet. You think that a simple request for a safety measure would be totally reasonable.

you know what she did, she bought up something else... do I ever get thanks for the things I do? naturally I countered with do I get thank you sex for the good stuff I do... oh. I need to tell you how to argue first...you need to have a plan and a line of links that connect to each other about all the tiny little things that they do or dont do that are wrong and then you need to be able to change tactics in less than a second and get on the defensive urban and jungle gorilla warfare have nothing on a good arguement. you also have to be able to set traps in the argument..

Picture it in any battle field you like, your cruising a long in your armoured personel carrier blatting away at some poor unsuspecting truck when Crump you take a HE round to the side and take a peppering of heavy maching gun fire, Aww crap its an ambush so you turn in arc on dismount the infantry and pull off a fighting withdrawal as someone gets on the radio to call up the tanks. Bet your money that when your tanks turn up the next thing you'll have is mortar fire coming in which you naturally counter with real artilery and then sure enough they'll be coming back with air strikes, you'll counter with air superioroty measures and then ther'e be NBC stuff and it just snowballs down to a mean dirty nasty street to street or tree to tree brawl among grunts who cant see the billions of dollars of effort being expended to allow them to get on with the job of killing each other amid pretty fire works.

if you cant apply that theory to an arguement give up and surrender. so right after I've dropped the "how often do I get thank you sex?" counter ambush attack shes come in with "and how often do I get thank yous for the stuff I do huh what do I get" which pretty much steals all the intertia and weight of fire from my manouver. I elect the sniper and spin back with "you can have all the thank you sex you want" The snipers a particularly sneaky move spinning back the same arguement theyve used directly against them but its risky...

"I dont want thank you sex" deflected like the sloped frontal armour of an abhrams main battle tank would deflect a shot from a spud gun and then followed up with my B52 carpet bombing remark of "so your pretty much getting what you want for what you do then..."

and that was it, it was on for young, old, decrepid, dead, dying, yet to be born and any other form of life that wanted to have a crack at it... the insults, topics, fault and blame shifted sides and directions so fast that your average electron would have had trouble pulling it off without tearing out of its nuclieus orbital bond and wandering off somewhere to make something new out of itself which incidently happened within the nest of the arguement and soon it was a live living beast feeding on the ludicracy of some of the arguments about how I never pick up my boots and she always trips over them or how she bought the bird that needed the cage that I was forever clocking my head on and how now that the bird has escaped the cage is useless and NO you cant bring up the fact that If Id thought about it I coud have taken the cage down a week ago since it no longer has a bird in it..

you get the idea... and we argued and we faught right up till the point where Alex, going from thinking this was funny to something was wrong, ran into the kitchen where we were doing the dishes, remeber the knives thing that started it all?, and cried out STOP with his little hand up and stated "Daddy love momey" and "momey love Dad" (I wish I could inflict to type his voice and mannerism properly). we laughed and we had a family hug and then spent the next 20 minutes laughing and recapping the madness that had ensued with Alex laughing along, clearly not knowing what we were laughing about but laughing because he was happy we were happy.

And that is why EVERY good relationship needs arguements, because you get to make up after.